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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Fry’s Chocolate Cream

38 replies

PuppyMonkey · 21/06/2019 13:41

Aibu to break it into individual squares, nibble the chocolate off and eat the fondant centre last?

I’m not.

OP posts:
Al203 · 21/06/2019 14:34

It goes in the fridge until cold. You then take it out and unwrap it whole on a clear table or desk in front of you. Having carefully unwrapped it, totally nude in front of you, your eyes travel over it for a while. Admire those sharp edges and those soft curves. Like you, yourself were admired at 18. You breathe in that sweet, rich, earthy smell, all the while being given off by the dark, smooth skin of the bar spread out beneath you.

Then, when it needs to be held you pick it up. You position it length ways under your nose, curved side on top, like a mouth organ just under your nostrils about to be blown. You push your tongue out and tentatively lick the underside, tickling the bar while your saliva glands pulse to attention. Then, holding the ends firmly like you would a stick of sweet corn, you gently bite down on the acute angle where the curved edge rolls into the bottom. You sweep this piece into your mouth with your tongue while gently moving the bar along, biting, licking, sweeping......until....you feel the curved end separated from the bottom, just held together by the quivering, soft, melting centre.

Now, the bar is at your mercy, you flick your tongue along sweeping it in the gap, prizing apart the two edges of chocolate while the white, fondant cream can hold back no more. Into you, everywhere, dripping down, around your lips. Now inside you, that white, succulent cream, oozing, jetting, pulsing into the very centre of you.

A nice Early Gray afterwards is strongly recommended.

RelaisBlu · 21/06/2019 14:35

Although I know what it is, now I come to think of it I don't believe I've ever eaten one....

WoollyMollyMonkey · 21/06/2019 14:45

But but but ... you lose the flavour of the chocolate straight from the fridge. It has to be slightly warm!

PuppyMonkey · 21/06/2019 14:55

I’ll have what @AI203’s having. Grin

OP posts:
LimeKiwi · 21/06/2019 15:00

@PuppyMonkey was just thinking the same thing Grin Grin

FriarTuck · 21/06/2019 15:01

I had the orange flavoured one for elevenses.
There's an orange-flavoured one?! Shock

FriarTuck · 21/06/2019 15:03

AI203 could make a fortune with that! '50 bars of chocolate' - a whole series of books awaits us Grin
(Is it wrong that I'm actually slightly turned on, or just worrying? Blush)

motheroffourcats · 21/06/2019 15:13

PHEW!! That was a bit racy.

S1naidSucks · 21/06/2019 15:34

Jesus Al203, you’ve just given this middle aged woman a hot flush. I think I need a lie down.

Is it wrong that I’m jealous of the way that chocolate bar has just been described?

BollocksToBrexit · 21/06/2019 15:37

It depends. Are you eating a blue or a green one?

Pipandmum · 21/06/2019 15:42

I eat reeses peanut butter cups that way - nibble all around the edge where chocolate is thickest then top bit then bottom which is always the trickiest part. Snickers too - chocolate first, then nougat, then peanuts. I think I’m trying to make it last as long as possible.
None go in the fridge though 😉.

over50andfab · 21/06/2019 15:47

OMG AI203 I needed to lie down in a dark room after reading that - fanning myself gently Shock

Other than that...me too on the nibbling round - ditto smarties, minstrels et al. ...and in the fridge first (DC don’t like chilled chocolate so win win Smile

Mrsjayy · 21/06/2019 16:43

PuppyMonkey

Mrs J, it’s £1 for three from Morrison’s currently. I bought three packs of three pack

Greedy monkey Grin

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