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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

School mum making false claim to social services

44 replies

Fakenametodayhey · 21/06/2019 13:00

Overheard a school mum that I used to be quite friendly with (until I heard this) talking about another mum.

Basically what happened was Mum A told Mum B that she thought Mum Cs child was a little brat. Mum B then told Mum C what was said and Mum C took it upon herself to tell all the other Mums and make a scene infront of everyones children (which was really awkward for the whole school!) And she just keeps saying mean things really loud around Mum A (the one who called the child a brat).
Mum A told me that it was really getting her down but I also think she shouldn't be bad mouthing young children without expecting a reaction.

It is all very childish and I just tried to steer conversation away from it because I don't really care and I think they're both being childish.

Anyway- the crux- I over heard Mum A telling another mum that if Mum C doesn't accept her apology and stop embarrassing her then she is going to call social services because apparently she saw her slapping her daughter. But she saw her slapping her daughter on the school run. Nobody else saw it and she was the only one there. Highly unlikely since I actually walk the same way as mum C everyday and mum A has started walking the longer way to avoid mumC.
I see mum C every day and would have seen her the supposed time this attack has taken place.

Now I have also seen Mum A hit her own children (hard enough to make you gasp) and i also know that the school is working with her as are social services.

I am not really sure what to do here. I know the mum is lying because I see mum C every day and I know mum A would rather catch a later bus than get on the same one as her. Or walk a longer route to avoid her. Her tone changed and she kept talking about really fine details- you can just tell she is lying. From body language and the way she worded it. The other mum she was talking to was obviously gobsmacked and told her not to call ss/ is she sure she saw her slapping her in the face?/ why was noone else around at school pickup/drop off time? Etc and she just kept saying she will do it.

I dont want to get into the middle of it but i also dont want someone to waste social services time and resources. I also dont want someone else having to deal with a visit from social services (which would probably be nerve wracking!) For no reason other than she basically told someone who insulted her daughter to fuck off. Obviously she shouldnt have done it in a school full of children but i can see why she would be angry.

I don't know what to do. I can't realistically call up social services and say 'expect a false claim from someone' when i only know them as childs mum and childs mum. Not even by name! But one knows my name- not sure how!

Also mum c helped me out when my child fell over and I was too far away to comfort them straught away. She actually picked my little girl up and held her until I could get to her (busy playground and have a pram so you can imagine it took a few minutes) so i dont think mum C is that bad. She probably acted out of form due to anger whem she confronted mum A. So i think i owe it to her to say something. But I dont know how to. I definitely don't want to cause a rift and be a gossip. Or a stirrer. But i think this is really quite more serious than "blah blah blah mum A said xxxx"

Have started avoiding mum A for obvious reasons. But i just feel like a liar when I see mum C and I keep trying to listen out to hear if she says anything about social services (not likely as its embarrassong but i still cant help ttying to listen just incase) .

Wwyd? What do i do? Help me!

OP posts:
RJnomore1 · 21/06/2019 13:01

Got two paragraphs in and I know the answer.

Keep as far out of it all as humanly possible.

Pootles34 · 21/06/2019 13:03

Oh god don't get involved. They sounds as bad as each other, and social services won't do anything just because someone claims to have seen a slap.

Distance yourself from both of them.

wowfudge · 21/06/2019 13:06

If Mum A tries to involve you again just tell her you don't want to be involved and walk away. If she says anything about your attitude in doing so you can say you only have her word for it and if she intends to take things further then she should just do so as you were not present and have nothing to add. If SS are already working with her I think they'll have a fair idea what she's like.

Fakenametodayhey · 21/06/2019 13:08

@wowfudge yes yes she does often put her foot in her mouth. She will probably tell her own social worker.

OP posts:
PregnantSea · 21/06/2019 13:09

Don't get involved at all.

FilledSoda · 21/06/2019 13:14

Just distance yourself from the whole lot of them.
It's nothing to do with you anyway

daffodilbrain · 21/06/2019 13:21

Crikey stay away sounds like an awful area

NorthEndGal · 21/06/2019 13:25

This is nothing to do with you, and there really isn't anything you can do.
If a report is made, the social know how to look into it, that's what they do. They are also used to people reporting things falsely, so they already know it is a possibility.

BlueMerchant · 21/06/2019 13:31

Keep well out of it all. Pick up your child and leave pronto. Keep chat to a minimum and don't get involved in any gossiping.
With people like this any involvement could backfire and you'll be getting a knock on your own door from social services.

MrsSpenserGregson · 21/06/2019 13:35

Stay the hell away from all of them, you don't need this shit in your life and nor do your children

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 21/06/2019 13:36

Mum A called mum Cs child a brat to mum B. Therefore mum C is furious.
I can see where shes coming from to be honest. Id be Telling her to stick her apology as well. I won't have a bad word said about mine, either.
I'm not saying shes prefect of course shes not. She's got her faults, she's human, but I wouldn't let anyone else say it.

babysharkah · 21/06/2019 13:36

Don't get involved in any of their batshit ness.

Rowennaravenclaw · 21/06/2019 13:37

Do not say anything. Pretend you don’t remember the conversation. Avoid bith women like the plague.

Fakenametodayhey · 21/06/2019 13:39

@northendgal yes i didnt take that into account.

Yes i dont think i will bother saying anything.

OP posts:
Raver84 · 21/06/2019 13:40

Entire situation is ridiculous and why is it even bothering you just stay out of it. Simple.

viques · 21/06/2019 13:42

You could always offer to hold an intervention in your home where they can all air their grievances, listen politely to each other, clear up misunderstandings , promise to be kinder people in the future, have a little cry, a group hug and cake.

Or you can mind your own business , find someone else to stand next to in the playground and stop revelling in other people's disfunctional lives.

I know which I would do.

Bluerussian · 21/06/2019 13:44

It all sounds quite horrible. You just don't criticise other people's small kids (you don't know what yours might be like in a year or so, or when they are out of your vision). On the other hand, no-one should brawl in public, particularly about a child in front of parents who know the child. Anything that really needs to be said should be said in private.

Do stay out of it, op. I wouldn't avoid the mums in question but carry on being pleasant. However don't be drawn into discussion about this issue, if it is brought up either say you don't want to be involved or change the subject and they will get the message. You'll be tying yourself in knots if you don't back out.

Wine to relax.

QueenBeee · 21/06/2019 13:45

You are taking on the whole thing as if you have a magic wand.
Stay right out. or I can see an equally long post next term about you trying to help AB or C and now no one is talking to YOU

AryaStarkWolf · 21/06/2019 13:53

run away!

BarryBarryTaylor · 21/06/2019 13:56

Firstly, SS don’t have the time or resources to attend every call they receive, sadly. The person they speak to over the phone will ask for more information, if it’s a lie, it will become apparent fairly quickly. They may just offer Mom A advice as opposed to visiting Mom C.
If they have other information on Mom C, she may end up being visited, potentially.
I don’t work in SS but I do work in Early Years and have often worked with SS over the years. They receive many many calls every day, they will know how to handle this. Don’t you worry.

MegaPants · 21/06/2019 13:56

Pick your child up and leave. That is it, that is all you need to do.

swingofthings · 21/06/2019 14:06

You don't know that mum A didn't see her slap her daughter. You are assuming this is not possible because you believe you would have seen it, which unless you were next to her the whole time is not possible.

Everyone is free to call SS if they have concerns. If it's done maliciously, they will deal with it.

The worse thing to do in such circumstances is to take sides. Just stay out of it.

Beesandcheese · 21/06/2019 14:07

Stay well clear. Cooper. I unfortunately had my tyres damaged and have had to change swimming lessons to a different location following an incident with shouts-at-other-kids-in-the-street mum where I "dared" to challenge such behaviour (apparently not being born in this small town precludes me from having an opinion about some one making fun of and threatening my child on their way home from school). Some of these people tracey are truly unhinged. I have had people phoning me harassing me because of the stuff she comes out with.

maddy68 · 21/06/2019 14:10

Do nothing. If Social services are involved they will judge if there is anything in the allegations. And at that time perhaps you could offer a report of what you heard

LuckyLou7 · 21/06/2019 14:37

Another vote to steer clear of any involvement.

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