Should I be happy after getting engaged?

[shessohungry]

Got engaged a few days a go on holiday we had the kids and OH's brother on holiday with us. Not sure if I should be feeling really happy or whether this is the norm? I just don't feel happy or excited at all.

Yes.

I think it's unusual not to be happy about it. Was the proposal a surprise romantic one? Is it a big deal or have you always said you would get married at some point and this is just making it official?

I grinned until my face hurt for weeks (maybe months! ). Why do you think you are not happy? Do you not really want to marry him? Or was the proposal itself just disappointing and an anti-climax?

I think it can be something you build up in your head, and so that when it arrives, you don't feel as excited as you thought, it that makes sense?
Give yourself a chance, but also ask yourself if you want to get married, that might help you work this out?

When I got engaged to my ex (we never married) I felt very deflated. With DH, it was very different and I was over the moon for weeks.

Do you really want to get married?

@shessohungry

Yes of course you should be happy!

You are very unclear as to how and why you are engaged.

Is it an arranged marriage? Do you not want to get married?

More info needed please.

I don't know, are you sure you want to marry?

Accept that if you've been together for quite a while and know you are going to get married (which means you are engaged), an official engagement is not a big deal. Some people don't bother to do it for that very reason!

Think OH has read this before be me!

Anyhoo! We had OHs younger brother with us on holiday so was very little opportunities to be excited whenever we have a kiss his brother would roll his eyes.

We get back of holiday and there was lots of family drama on his side so we didn't even get to talk about our engagement or even the holiday.

I went to my mums yesterday to pick my dog up and she was so happy for us and gave me a card. I felt like everyone forgot so that was nice.

I felt like it lacked any kind of celebration. Feels really sad :(

Nah, other people's reactions can be disappointing. Also depends if it was planned. In a way it's quite a sobering decision. I've been married for ages but I don't remember ever being ecstatic about any milestone in our relationship, just natural progression. And if there is nobody to cheerlead the event, I can see how it would pass you by.

Bit shit he did it on holiday with his brother tbh

Can you afford to go away forbthw weekend, just the pair of you and do it again when you are free to be happy/excited/kiss??

Does he need to propose and bring the celebration too?

I never married the only guy I said yes to, so maybe my opinion doesn't count but after the proposal I went out to buy the champagne for a family celebration

I think it can be less exciting when you already have kids and live together.

After all, nothing will change in your day to day life.

I wonder if other people (and perhaps you yourself!) saw it coming, as a natural progression from living together and having children already.

I agree- could you do something, just the two of you, to mark the occasion?

Congratulations

Could you throw an engagement party if you want to celebrate?

I didn’t enjoy being engaged at all although I think I’m in the minority. I love my now DH to death, as I did then but I hated the immediate pressure from family and friends asking how the wedding planning was going etc. Once we finally decided what we were doing I hated the constant desicion making and deadlines and wondering if I was doing it right And if I would regret anything. I’m so happy with how it turned out but I was honestly stressed for 9 months. It’s bizarre because I work in project delivery and I’m so organised, on the ball and chilled at work.

Love being married though. Everyone’s different.