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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DD being bullied

10 replies

FFSeverynameisused · 20/06/2019 21:39

my DD has come home from school in tears because her 'friend' has been telling her to f*ck off and trying to be a 'wendy' with DD's best friend.

This girl has also been very rude to me and DD's grandparents at the school gates, after school clubs etc.

Can't address with the school because this woman is the head of the PTA and pals with all the teachers and all the other mums.

I do have the mum's number. I'm wondering whether to drop her a text but don't know what to say. I'm not a confrontational person and I don't want to make things worse for DD, but I don't want this to continue either.

How is best to approach this.

They are 11/12 years old and about to finish school (Scotland) and this girl will be in DD's class when they start high school. All the same classes it seems.

OP posts:

Original poster

FFSeverynameisused · 20/06/2019 21:40

the mum is head of the PTA I mean

OP posts:

TeenTimesTwo · 20/06/2019 21:41

If serious enough, I'd be tempted to contact the high school and ask to move classes. Provided you are happy for her to be in a class where she knows no one.

Or assume it will all blow over and do nothing.

Don't contact the Mum direct, either go via the primary or do nothing.

Friedspamfritters · 20/06/2019 21:43

I wouldn't contact the mum. She'll have had her DD's side of it. If it's serious enough I would go to the school, they have a duty of care and it would be massively inappropriate to dismiss your concerns because of personal biases.

Thequaffle · 20/06/2019 21:45

Wtf is a Wendy?

bellinisurge · 20/06/2019 21:46

Do they have Governors in Scottish schools. If so, I would contact the chair to say there is a bullying issue that would not be properly addressed and you need advice from them as to how to proceed.

CallMeRachel · 20/06/2019 21:48

Contact the high school they will be going to and ask for them to be separated.

Foxglovesandprimroses · 20/06/2019 21:51

I would contact the school. You may be pleasantly surprised by how they deal with it. I was in a v similar situation, DD was persistently bullied by the very dominant dd of a parent governor and local worthy and her teacher actually dealt with it well.

I kept it factual, emailed politely and it was dealt with. Helped that other kids in the class witnessed the incidents and backed my dd up.

Original poster

FFSeverynameisused · 21/06/2019 06:22

a 'wendy' is someone who joins an established friendship group then pushes out an existing member

My DD is saying she was slapped and spat on yesterday at the after school / youth club.

There is only one week left of school and DD doesn't want me to say or do anything...and I don't know if the school would do anything about something that happens outside of school?

I am worried about what today will bring in school for DD.

We don't have any governors. Its the head teacher then the local authority.

There was a national news story about our school a few months ago that divided the parents. I'm kind of reluctant to cause more drama this close to the end of primary but want to help my DD at the same time.

I'm really torn.

OP posts:

PregnantSea · 21/06/2019 06:54

Her mum being the head of the PTA does not mean that you can't contact the school. I strongly urge you to do so ASAP. Your poor DD, really sorry she's having such a hard time, this girl sounds very unpleasant

AlwaysCheddar · 21/06/2019 06:57

Speak to the school of course. Why not wouldn’t you. Her being head of pta does not make a difference. And speak to the new school and get the kids split up, explain what’s been going on.

Flip