Argument over bike helmet - DS13

[GoldenNoodle]

Am I being unreasonable to insist that ds13 wears a helmet when he rides his bike? It has always been the rule that he wear one. He says that none of his friends do - which as far as I can tell, is true. He is on his bike all the time, riding to school and out with friends. He says that everyone is laughing at him and he's the only one who has to wear a helmet.

Dh is sympathetic to ds and says I should relax my rule. However, I'm not sure I could ever forgive myself if anything happened to him.

Ds is an experienced rider and has done the cycling proficiency test.

Anyone with biking teenagers - what are your rules? TIA

I got blown over sideways on a pedestrian and cycle only bridge by a gust of wind, and hit my helmeted head on a street-sign pole on my way down.
I was embarrassed and a bit shocked by the crack, but otherwise fine.

Statistically the benefits of him cycling outweigh the risk of injury so it's not something I'd enforce

My DD's secondary school has a 'bike licence' and wearing a helmet is part of that - no licence, bike not allowed on premises.

A lot of them do take the helmet off as soon as they are away from the teachers tbh. Although the teachers have been known to stand further down the road and surprise them occasionally!

Non negotiable in my house, mine don't cycle to school as too far but all other cycling you wear a helmet or the bike goes!

Some interesting views of both sides here [url= https://amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/mar/21/bike-helmet-cyclists-safe-urban-warfare-wheels]here[/url]

You're more likely to suffer a head injury as a pedestrian or in a car than as an unhelmeted cyclist

Youngest left the house wearing his helmet, I found it stuffed in the hedge at the bottom of the drive. I took his bike off him. No helmet, no bike was the rule.

My son is 12 and the rule is no helmet no bike- when I was younger my sister was riding around the next street with some friends. One of her friends got knocked off his bike and killed by a speeding driver. The paramedics said if he had been wearing a helmet ( non of them were!) he would still be alive! The first thing my dad did was go and buy my sister a helmet. We live near my old house where this happened and they now have speed bumps and it's been made one way. When my son moans about we wearing his helmet I just remind him of Gareth ( the poor lad who died) and he quickly gets it!

I'd rather my kids were doing something healthy and active rather than playing fortnite, so I'll take my chances

All these posters saying no helmet = no bike...

...how do you monitor that they are wearing the helmet throughout the journey?

My son rides outside on our street so I see him riding up and down the street with his friends with his helmet on when I occasionally check on him.

Jowak1 that's feasible when they're just riding up and down the street, but not when cycling to and from school or further afield, like the OP's son.

The reason I'm asking is that the OP's question was specifically about teenagers cycling, and I suspect that some of the responses are from posters with younger children who don't cycle unsupervised or beyond local streets.

My son occasionally rides to school and he always wears his helmet and of course I have to trust him to keep it on the whole way. His friends all wear helmets too though so he doesn't feel like he's the only one like the OP's son.

I think it does help if there's a culture where they are all wearing helmets. Adolescents like to fit in with their peers.

And when they turn 18, will they be allowed to make their own decisions then?

NO, NO, NO, NO!

You are not being unreasonable.

I am a senior Neuropsychologist. It is my job to try and repair people's lives after brain injury. Wearing a bike helmet is one of the easiest ways to prevent/reduce severity of brain injury in an accident. They work.

Please don't let him think it's ok to not wear one. It's life or death, but also we're looking at the potential of lifelong cognitive and social disability.

He is a child he doesn't get to decide. It is non-negotiable. No helmet-no bike. I would be talking to your son about the reasons and showing him evidence as to why you want him to wear it.

This is too important to "relax" your rules on.

Sorry, I'm just very passionate about this. I see it day in day out and it's tragic.

ChicChocolate - I like the idea of a bike license at school - that would help a lot.

I can't be completely sure he is wearing a helmet when out, but I don't think he would be kicking up such a fuss if he was sneakily going without it.

I'm a child of the 80s and remember the terrifying info films they'd show us at school - see heroin, flying kites near electricity pylons and playing on train tracks. I think we could do with a few more of those nowadays!

Kdubs- no rules are going to be relaxed. He's persuasive, but not that persuasive. I have also showed this thread to DH and he has promised to back me up.

I think that as long as he's on the pavement then cut him some slack.

I only put my helmet on if there's an unavoidable stretch of road. 99% of the time I'm tootling around on empty paths.

@Vulpine

In a risk assessment matrix you need to assess the severity of outcome as well as it's statistical likelihood to assess the level of risk posed. Although not s common occurrence, having a serious accident on s bike has a very high likelihood of serious, life changing injury or death. A helmet reduces the likelihood of serious injury.

The risk posed by not cycling (I presume you mean being overweight and potentially unhealthy, but can't be sure) are more likely to occur than a brain injury but the "cost" of these are much less.

Assuming that he cycles to school, get on to them for some support. My school had a zero tolerance policy and always had a member of staff on duty outside the gate when kids were arriving or leaving. Some of the admin staff even used to keep an eye out when they were driving into work.

Ddraig - yes, I had been thinking about contacting the school about this. It's definitely worth a conversation. As another poster said, it's much easier when everyone else is doing it to.

There’s no point Vulpine - women on MN are terrible at assessing risk because they once knew of a colleagues daughters friends brother who came off a bike and said his helmet saved his life....

It’s preferable to cycle with a helmet. But it’s also preferable to cycle without a helmet over not cycling.

OP have you got him as ‘cool’ a helmet as possible?

Kdubs - that doesn't change my view. As I said more head injuries occur in cars. No-one insists on kids wearing helmets in them or indeed walking down the street. An accident is an accident where ever it occurs.