To ask your experiences - family court

[helpconfused]

My ex has applied for contact for DS. He was convicted of DV towards me where DS was in the middle. I have a restraining order in place. This was 18 months ago. Not asked for any access to DS until now.
The hearing is next month. I'm waiting for CAFCASS to contact me.
I know these things vary MASSIVELY but would appreciate if anyone has been through similar could you let me know how the timescale was for you??
TIA
Posted here for more traffic.

Anyone?

Bumping for you, sorry I can’t help. 💐 and hope everything goes well for you.

You might get more responses in the Legal area rather than AIBU.

Is there an existing Child Arrangements Order in place?

As to timescales they will try to make it as quick as possible but you are likely talking at least a couple of months and possibly a number of court appearances depending on whether you agree to the contact or not.

If you both agree then it can be done quite quickly, if you object then things really can drag out sometimes.

I assume that you have a solicitor for this and they will be able to give you a good idea of likely timescales in your local area.

Thank you. No, I can't afford a solicitor and don't qualify for any help towards that either.
I don't agree, no.
I've no idea what's going to happen

Was about 10 years ago now so things may be different but when my brother took his ex to court (no DV invloved) there was the initial court hearing where the situation was assessed, 2 a cafcass meetings, then another court hearing to put in place the contact order (know know as child arrangement order. All in all took 7 months from the initial hearing to second hearing, with cafcass meetings in between.

As a DV victim you will qualify for legal aid.

@IDontGiveABagOfDicks not necessarily. It's still means rested.

Yes thats the problem. It's means tested. They only look at rent as an outgoing and also take maintenance into account (even though its sporadic).
In reality I scrape by payday to payday but they don't look at any other outgoings.

I presume that you've checked out Legal Aid and that you earn more than £31,884 per year and so don't qualify?

The procedure will be much as Roadrunner said, however you may well have at least one or two extra hearings.

A couple of useful free resources if you've never been to court before are:-

childlawadvice.org.uk/

and a series of three videos from a family law barrister about what to expect when you actually go to court:-

www.youtube.com/user/nofamilylawyer

One thing I would say is to keep everything about how it affects your DS.

Please do NOT emphasise how much you hate your ex (although your fear of him and any ongoing consequences from the DV are certainly relevant to bring up).

Rather, put everything in the context of how it will affect your DS. If you keep it about how having contact with his father will adversely affect your DS that is likely to be more successful.

I have no idea what the outcome will be but I would guess that it is likely that there may be an order for him to spend time with your DS at a Contact Centre. There is a cost attached to this which he will have to pay (if he tries to get you to pay for it then say no to that).

God no! I don't earn anywhere near that. Near £19 before tax, part time.
I've put the info into the calculators online and it comes back 'computer says no'

19k that should have said!

OK, There's also a disposable income test as well.

This may affect you if you live in area where there are low rents.

If you take your total monthly take home pay (and child tax credits) then take off what you pay for rent and childcare costs (if any) then you need to be left with no more than £733 per month.

I'm guessing that you're taking home around £1,370 a month or £315 per week. So if your rent (and childcare if you have it) is at least £637 per month (1370 - 733 = 637) then you will qualify.

I live in quite a high cost of living area and rents for two bed apartments here are generally above that amount. I'm really sorry that I made that assumption. If your rent and childcare is less than £637 then, yes, you don't qualify.

Sorry if I may have mislead you - I didn't think about low rents.

All I can say is to check out as many free resources as you can.

It may also be worthwhile posting on the Legal board here as well.

Don't worry, yes my rent is around 400 x