AIBU to want to say something?

[Mississippilessly]

This happened 9 months ago - I've thought about it again because I have seen the lady in question and its reminded me of it and I feel crappy about it.

I had an episiotomy during labour. I gave birth on a Thursday. When my midwife saw me on Saturday she said the stitches didn't look right and if anything happened I should call the hospital.
On the Monday I went to the toilet and there was quite a lot of blood and the wound hurt. I was quite upset. I tried to phone the hospital but for some reason my phone didn't work. Tried DH's - same thing.
I decided to take a quick walk round the block in the hope of my phone working. Nope. The Drs surgery is next door to me and there were still cars there so i thought i would try and ring the bell (it must have been just gone 6). Receptionist answered and I explained the situation and asked if I could use their phone. She said 'no sorry, we're closed'. I said ok, thanks anyway. She then tutted and said 'well how long are you going to be?' to which I re-iterated that I just needed to phone the hospital as the midwife had told me to do. I was audibly upset.
She let me in reluctantly, repeating that they really were closed and she needed to go home. She then tried the office phone and that wasn't working either, so she shrugged at me and said 'sorry, line isn't working'.
AIBU to think this was pretty poor?

What did you want her to do? Why were you chasing around looking for a phone when your husband could have done it?

If there's a localised problem with the phone lines, which is how it sounds, then I don't see what she could have done?

A receptionist couldn't have given you medical advice, and the doctors was closed.

She let you in despite the fact they were closed, and let you use the phone - it’s not her fault it mysteriously wasn’t working (not sure what was going on that both your and your DH’s mobiles weren’t working and the surgery landline also wasn’t ) I’m not sure what you’re upset about or what else you expected her to do.

YWBU to complain NINE MONTHS later because you didn’t like her tone. She probably doesn’t even remember that day.

She was a bit rude at a time when you were feeling low & in pain. No it wasn't great patient care but maybe she had other concerns & really needed to get home. It's probably best to put it behind you now though. YANBU to remember it & feel angry but to complain now WBU.

What is this really about? This is such a minor issue from so long ago that it can't be the real reason for your upset now. Perhaps if you could work that out you'd feel a bit better. Maybe you're just associating this lady with your trauma around the episiotomy etc - it can be an awful thing and they do occasionally go nasty (mine did).

I imagine she was (still is) over worked, under paid and tired from abuse from patients . Doctors etc.
She doesn't owe uou anything because she did you a favour and you were not a patient at the surgery at the time.

They are closed and she still let you use the phone. I think you need to let it go.

Ok, thanks everyone - my OP was poorly worded, obviously there wasn't anything she could have done, it was her tone and manner that I found very difficult.

@BonnieBelleStarr - it was my surgery I live next door to it, I'm a registered patient there. As you say she doesn't owe me anything, I just find that quite a sad attitude - if someone turned up at my house with that situation I would gladly let them use my phone, thinking that i didn't owe them anything wouldn't cross my mind.

She was probably knackered after a long shift of dealing with people who all want an appointment yesterday and just wanted to get home.

yeah maybe she had someone to collect from somewhere before a specific time, maybe if she was late she'd be fined, maybe she has someone really ill waiting for her at home or maybe been told by her bosses not to let people in after a certain time, maybe she doesn't think a closed office is the place to come looking for the use of a phone, for god sake you should have asked a neighbour, but two phones not working was already a big flag there was a problem with phones, but still she let you in and you don't like her tone and manner, nothing she said was rude, she did as you wanted and you think she should use a different tone, just because your registered there, its not her home , I cannot see one ounce of reasonable attitude on your behalf in your post but that excusable you had just given birth and were sore, but 9 months later you should be cringing at what you are saying now.

If the doctors is only next door, why didn’t you go home and call from there? Or do you only have mobile phones?

The poor receptionist had worked a full day, it was passed her home time and she still let you in!

I’m not sure if I’m missing the point, but she sounds pretty helpful, what do you want to say? Who do you want to say it to? And what do you expect as a direct result of it?

While it sounds like she could have been more polite, there is simply no way you can attempt to address this NINE MONTHS later. What would you even say? ‘Nine months ago I asked to use your phone after hours and the receptionist said yes but I think she could have been more polite about it’? What could be done about it now...?

AIBU to think this was pretty poor?

It was closed, she doesn’t get paid for staying an extra five minutes, she had had a long day in work. I think my tone might have been a bit off tbh. Why did you even ring the bell if it was closed? Why not knock on a neighbours?

YABU.

Yep sounds very unreasonable. They were closed she wanted to go home, no doubt insurance etc don’t cover patients their at certain times etc.
She let you in and tried to help and you are still pissy about it? X

I would be more upset with DH to be honest.

Gosh nine months later and you're feeling crappy and posting about it. That's extreme.

Do you suffer from mental health issues to be this hung up (no pun intended) on it?

But she did let you use their phone?

I really think you need to let this go.

OP it’s a shame she was shitty with you but I expect she gets a fair amount of CF behaviour working at a doctor’s surgery and whilst it would be nice if she gave everyone the benefit of the doubt, she ultimately didn’t realise you were struggling and in need of help. No, it wasn’t great for you but I don’t think she was intentionally trying to upset you or make things difficult. It wouldn’t have been personal in any way to her, although I can imagine it feeling that way to you.

YANBU to dwell on it a bit as it wasn’t a nice experience but YWBU if you held a grudge or complained to her boss or whatever.

I don't think she was unreasonable. She was clearly being put out and needed to get off but she still let you in to use the phone which was very kind of her. A problem with stitches isn't really serious and unless you needed to call 999 for a life or death situation I don't think she's under any moral obligation to let you use the phone. And yet she did! So I think she was actually very nice. It's not unreasonable that she wasn't all beaming smiles etc. She's just finished work and might need to pick up a child or something. The important thing is that she let you use the phone. (Not her fault it wasn't working.)