Parents of 12+ year olds. How would you feel about this?

[DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou]

DS is in year 7, 12yo and is 'seeing' a girl.
Apparently this consists of being too shy to even say hello to one another at school but talking for hours on the phone. From about 6pm to bedtime.

He isn't allowed Instagram but his gf is. So there's a lot of 'he said she said' about IG and snap chat etc.

DH doesn't like it. Says it's too much.

I'm not too bothered.

DH wants him to reign it in. Is DH BU?

I did vote, saw it and now I can't see it anymore.

I know I'm being thick but what is this voting that's being spoken of and where do you see it?

Too much for me too. It's not healthy to spend so much time on the phone/texting etc.

Why not ask his gf round for tea after school one day? Then they can get to know each other as friends? I always try to impress on ds how important it is to have friends of both sexes. GF and BF, less important! Best to be able to talk to people in RL.

Good chance to talk to him about still seeing friends, family and doing hobbies though. Having your first gf can be overwhelming...

60 per cent of 90 votes say yanbu

If it helps OP, one of my DS went through this phase of phone chatting for hours on end. (Hence my response above). Not to a girl but with another boy in his class. It was a phase and passed. I personally think if you ban something that's pretty harmless it's makes it more attractive! Mine are both 17 yo now, but I try to not ban/limit them from stuff that is broadly ok - save it for when you really need to prevent them doing something! So, talking on the phone - ok. Sloping off and hanging round the park at all hours to be with someone and not telling anyone where you are - not ok.

Well regardless of his weekend hobby he probably needs something to occupy him in the evenings. After school they have a likely 5-6 hours to fill and dinner and homework can’t stretch that far, what else can he do to keep himself busy? Honestly, hours every night hearing about someone else’s instafeed is crazy.

I spent hours on the phone as a teen. Phone bill day was always dreaded. I think it helps teens make sense of their changing lives. I think girls tend to do it more than boys so it's good he has someone to talk to.

Thanks for the input it's helpful.

I voted YANBU but I was unclear what it meant because I think your DH is BU but you are not..?

As long as he's doing his homework and keeping his room tidy then who cares if he calls his gf every night. I think it's cute.

Oh also I'm assuming the phone bill isn't an issue? Free calls? If it's all free then absolutely just leave him to it. They're 12, they'll have broken up in a few week's time anyway. This is all part of him learning about relationships.

The main issue I would have with that is that 12pm is far too late for a 12 year old go be going to bed on a regular basis.

Phones off at 9pm and heading to bed sounds sensible.

Yanbu
However it seems to be a common thing with all the kids in my area.
My dsd13 is on the phone all the time to various friends and if she has a 'bf' and my friends son who is in the same class ran up a huge phone bill for the 3 hour a go phone calls to his 'gf'.

I'd have a chat with him still though OP

No it's nice he's chatting to her, my son is 13 and been on instagram since starting high school. All the other kids are doing it :-)

It's cute they are chatting together and even cuter they are to shy to do it at school. Bless them