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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Our downstairs neighbour won't stop complaining.

40 replies

TeaDrinkingBumbleeBee · 20/06/2019 00:39

Firstly hi, this is my first post after joining literally about ten minutes ago!

Secondly sorry, as I know this has been asked before but I'm getting myself in a tizz!

Myself and my partner recently moved into a block of flats (just renting). We have wooden floors throughout. On multiple occasions our downstairs neighbour has come up to complain about noise. He says there's constant banging and scraping on the floor. He even complained on our first day saying we were too noisy moving in.

I keep going from feeling "FFS grumpy old man" to tiptoeing around and feeling guilty. AIBU to feel like this?

We don't make any anti social noise...my partner is currently WFH and was working till 10pm. We got a complaint over what I assume was his desk chair moving!! What on earth are we supposed to do?? I've gone to bed and am now worried that getting up to use the loo will cause another complaint!

What can I do moving forward? We can't afford to get big enough rugs (living in London is a killer right?) but I've just purchased some felt pads for the bottom of our chairs. Is there reasonably anything else I could/should be doing?

Thanks guys, sorry if this shouldn't be in this topic, very new to this!

OP posts:
HennyPennyHorror · 20/06/2019 00:44

I used to live in a flat like yours but with two children and my DH. We had carpets but the elderly woman below constantly complained.

I have no doubt that it IS horribly loud and annoying but what can you do?

In your position, I would think about getting some of those very cheap Indian style rugs which are about a tenner each and putting them on the areas where you walk most.

Failing that, I'd even consider laying down old blankets there.

I'd also communicate to the neighbour politely and apologetically in a note that you're very sorry about the noise and that you can't afford carpets at the moment but are using alternatives in an effort to dull the noise. Don't wear shoes in the house.

When someone like your neighbour is in that position, they can feel helpless about the situation but if they know you're taking steps to improve things then they will feel better.

Try to make friends with him a bit...so he's not so grumpy.

And save for carpets and underlay.

TrixieFranklin · 20/06/2019 00:46

Can you speak to the letting agent / Landlord and see if there were similar issues with the previous tenants?

Are the complaints being made direct to you?

TrixieFranklin · 20/06/2019 00:47

You shouldn't be paying for or arranging for carpets in a rented flat..

creakingknees · 20/06/2019 00:51

I used to live in a flat with wooden floors.
I used to wear slippers when at home to minimise the noise when walking around.
I also had felt pads on the bottom of the chair legs so that they didn't scrape across the floor when being moved.
You could try that?

Expressedways · 20/06/2019 00:51

Have you tried Ikea it wayfair for cheap rugs? Obviously don’t wear shoes indoors and don’t run appliances overnight. But failing that, there isn’t much you can do as it doesn’t sound like you’re doing anything unreasonable like having noisy parties or doing late night aerobics. If your neighbour doesn’t want to hear normal household noise he should move and live in a top floor flat or a house. You shouldn’t feel like you can’t use the loo! I live in a conversion flat and a certain level of noise comes with the territory and has to be accepted.

To try to diffuse the tension I’d knock, explain you’ve bought felt pads and plan to sort rugs soon, hopefully that will stop the complaints at least.

creakingknees · 20/06/2019 00:53

To be fair, the flat i lived in ( top floor ) was well soundproofed too.
We never heard our neighbours at all, but i was always conscious of disturbing others.

MillicentMartha · 20/06/2019 00:54

When I lived in a flat you had to have carpets or ‘sound reducing flooring’ as a condition in the terms of the lease. I’d get your landlord on the case.

Spermysextowel · 20/06/2019 00:59

It could be that your landlord put down wooden floors before you moved in, so the downstairs occupier hasn’t had to deal with it before.
Purpose-built blocks tend to have better sound insulation though; it could be that you’ve ended up with a serial complainer.
Maybe try a rug where your partner works and see if that helps.

TrixieFranklin · 20/06/2019 01:01

Maybe you live above Mr Heckles

Our downstairs neighbour won't stop complaining.
TeaDrinkingBumbleeBee · 20/06/2019 01:06

Thanks everyone for your quick replies!

Definitely going to try a small rug under the desk. Then hopefully the chair will just "slide" rather than scrape on the floor! And the felt pads are arriving this weekend so fingers crossed that helps.

The flooring is quite old and the previous tenants were here for 3+ years so not sure if they had problems. When we viewed they didn't have rugs so there must have been similar issues.

Will mention it to the property manager (we have no direct contact with landlord) and maybe see what they suggest but otherwise I think we'll have to look into some cheap rugs.

I just feel so deflated by it - we've had a couple of minor issues with the flat and tonight this was just the icing on the cake to make me feel really sad about the whole situation!

OP posts:
ivykaty44 · 20/06/2019 01:11

Could you ask neighbours downstairs if you can listen to the noise from their flat? Leaving your do upstairs to move about_ at least that way you’d have an idea if it’s grumbling or real

summerofresistance · 20/06/2019 01:41

You need to get some rugs. I've lived under someone with floor boards and the noise is huge. Can't hear what's going on in their room, but could probably hear a pin drop on their floor.

Could you ask neighbours downstairs if you can listen to the noise from their flat?

I second this. You'll be surprised how loud it is.

HoppityChicken · 20/06/2019 01:53

I had the chair nose thing from upstairs neighbours - it was far louder than you'd imagine. They put down rugs, problem solved. They were a bit snippy about it to start with claiming I was being over sensitive but then admitted that they'd fully carpeted the upper floor of their flat to deaden the noise of their kids running around in the bedrooms so they knew how badly the noise travelled down.

HoppityChicken · 20/06/2019 01:55

Noise, not nose!

VforVienetta · 20/06/2019 02:02

The landlord above us renovated before letting his flat out again, removing the carpet and putting click-clack laminate down - the new tenant wore platform shoes (petite man with a Prince complex). It drove us insane. It seriously sounded like he was shifting wardrobes around up there, turned out he had clothes boxes under his bed.
We could even hear him and his mates gaming, and identify the game.
Maybe ask your landlord if they've changed something? It's more their responsibility than yours in some ways.
But in the meantime, agree with ^^, slippers, felt furniture pads, and rugs where you can.
Really your landlord may have to stump up for carpeting, and the downstairs neighbour can contact them to complain as it's really not in your remit to do.
Sympathies on both sides tbh.

Anarchyshake · 20/06/2019 02:04

I love in a ground floor flat. Luckily for us, our problem upstairs neighbours have just moved out. The noise we were getting was awful.

I think they've got laminate up there.

These are new build flats, but they certainly aren't sound proofed well at all.

Things like having those sticky pads for doorframes to help muffle any door closing noise would be great. Any kind of carpets and/or rugs would help. And being mindful to walk gently.

This isn't the first lower floor flat I've lived in, the one in Aldershot was so much worse it made me super ill. But it meant when I lived in a top floor flat, that I took precautions not to bang around and stomp, I didn't hoover or use washing appliances after five or six in the evening, and if I was coming in late I'd creep quietly. The downstairs neighbour worked and used to respond very badly to people keeping him up.

Spermysextowel · 20/06/2019 02:26

Ikea do see-thru mats (I think in their office section) that I use under my desk at home. In my case it’s to stop damage to the floor. It stops chairs sticking & scraping but maybe a combination of rug & the Ikea thing would help; baffling the sound but also allowing chair sliding.
I really hope that you can resolve this & enjoy your new home.

LikeDolphinsCanSwin · 20/06/2019 02:38

Hard floors in upper-floor flats are awful for the people living below - I've been there. Felt pads on all furniture that moves will help, so well done for getting that sorted. Are you taking your shoes off as soon as you get inside the door? If not, get into the habit of doing that always. It will make a big difference.

I now live in a terrace house with next-door neighbours who don't have carpet on their stairs. The current tenants don't wear shoes inside and it's not really a problem. But the previous owner used to walk around in hard-soled slippers and it drove me mad. I once knocked on their door in tears at 7am because I had a migraine and she was going up and down the stairs in her stupid shoes; every step was like a knife going through my head. I'm sure she thought I was utterly mad, but I suspect she had no idea how loud it was in my house.

mamamiass · 20/06/2019 03:09

Get chair pads and see if this will resolve the problem. www.amazon.co.uk/Furniture-Pads/b?ie=UTF8&node=1938455031

MoaMartinson · 20/06/2019 03:20

I’ve been in both positions above someone and below; really in these kinds of buildings it’s usual to have carpeting or some kind of noise reducing underlay under the wooden floor. I’m surprised the landlord’s lease and/or freehold agreement doesn’t specify that.

The problem with wooden floors is not just that they are noisy but that they amplify noise; one thing to do is increase soft furnishings and things that absorb rather than amplify sound -curtains, books, cushions. Don’t put speakers or televisions on floors/hard surfaces or on walls as sound travels down them – or you can buy cheapish rubber-type mats online from Amazon and similar to put under speakers and televisions to reduce noise, even a thick magazine will help. We didn’t wear shoes indoors, or wore very soft-soled slippers as impact noise is a problem, make sure washing-machines are properly balanced and try to run at times that won’t drive people mad, which is hard as late night obviously a problem but mid-evening can ruin relaxation time.

I thought my downstairs’ neighbour was being fussy until I moved to a flat underneath someone with wooden floors – could even hear their conversations and phone calls word for word and their music louder in my flat than in theirs. Every footstep in shoes was like a herd of hippos drifting across the ceiling. Some people ignore these things but personally would rather not feel I’m making someone’s life a misery, if there are small things I can do that help that aren’t really a huge adjustment. You can also buy quite cheap, large area mats with rubber backing from places like B and Q.

MoaMartinson · 20/06/2019 03:23

RE: Grumpy old men, I don’t think it’s age-related, I was in late 20s/early 30s when this was an issue and spent a lot of time out clubbing so not a stickler for low-level quiet living at the time.

Graphista · 20/06/2019 04:17

I'm in your neighbours position and believe me when I say each footsteps sounds like a bloody rock being thrown on your floor!

Personally I think hardwood or laminate floors in upper level flats should be banned!

Get your landlord to put down some large rugs ASAP or if they can carpet throughout even better.

Until then try to limit wearing shoes in the flat especially heels, moving furniture and be aware of making noise outside sociable hours.

"If your neighbour doesn’t want to hear normal household noise he should move and live in a top floor flat or a house." Yea cos it's that easy 🤔 plus it's quite possible when they moved in that op's flat had decent flooring and soundproofing in place and their landlords have removed that - that's not the neighbours fault!

"I second this [having a listen yourself] You'll be surprised how loud it is."

Thirded! You have no idea how annoying it is. Especially at the supposedly quieter times of the day.

I have the delights of a toddler in that flat and I've lost count now of how many times I've been jolted awake at 5/6am by his throwing a toys or starting to bounce a ball or jumping off his bed!

A chair being moved - have you seen pitch perfect where she pure scrapes a metal chair across a concrete floor to make a point? That!

I can hear their doors creaking, when they do their dishes, don't even get me started on the hoovering (who the feck uses an industrial sized Hoover on wood flooring and hoovers daily?!)

Seriously it's awful.

AgentProvocateur · 20/06/2019 04:26

You need to get rugs. When you live below someone with sudden or laminate flooring it’s hell. Every sound is magnified, and when they walk across the floor it sounds like they’re tap dancing.

TheTeenageYears · 20/06/2019 04:30

We once owned a flat in a converted Victorian house in London and there was a stipulation in the leasehold that we had to have either carpet or cork flooring, we couldn’t have wood or laminate for this reason. I would recommend asking the agent to check with the landlord that there is no clause like that for the owners. They may have put flooring in which wasn’t suitable for the environment and would have to remedy. We had carpet and always took shoes off at the door.

CripsSandwiches · 20/06/2019 07:18

I lived in a similar flat and put cheap rugs everywhere otherwise it would just be ridiculously loud downstairs.