I don't have any friends

[Hepte]

This probably isn't the right place to post so I'm sorry but I'm feeling a little fed up.

I don't seem to have any friends anymore and I don't know what to do. I'm generally quite independent and have never really had a large social circle. I was miserable at school so when I left I never really looked back. I never found my group at uni (although I did meet my hubby there) we relocated and started our family and I made some amazing friends but due to work we had to relocate again and although we have stayed in touch we don't socialise much anymore as we are now over 2 hrs away. My very best friends from there have also relocated and I'm lucky if I see them once a year now.

I struggle to make friends easily as I am quite a private person and struggle with 'small talk' I have the occasional evening out with work people but it's not quite the same because they are colleagues. I've tried hobbies but because I don't really speak to people when I'm there I just keep myself to myself.

I wouldn't say im lonely but it was my birthday last month and I didn't have anyone to celebrate with other than my hubby and I just felt a little deflated. I just not sure what to do now.

Hi op

Sorry to hear how you’re feeling. These posts crop up quite often and it seems lots of people feel the same. I know I do. I don’t feel particularly lonely UNTIL people at work or on fb are going on hen weekends and nights out etc then I think it gets to me more.

It’s hard to make friends as an adult. Really hard.

I'm sorry you're feeling like this, but you're not going to make friends if you don't talk to other people, and get to know them. You don't have to bare your innermost secrets, but you can talk about the hobbies you enjoy doing, music you like listening to, books you've enjoyed, or lovely places you've been, etc. Also, a lot of people like to talk about themselves, so ask them questions, are they married, do they have children, what interested them about the hobby you're (both) doing?

I do know what it's like to lose touch with friends. I've moved around a few times, and some of my old friends, I only see occasionally (not even once a year) and others I've lost touch with altogether. I only have 2 friends where I live now, and one of those I'd known since school, and she seems to have dropped me since I became ill a few years ago.

So, I do understand, but you're going to have to make the effort if you want more friends. Is there anybody at work you get on with? Two of my closest friends, in the past, were colleagues, so don't dismiss the idea.

Good luck!

I'm in a similar situation minus the husband! It really hit home to me when I realised on a recent trip to hospital that I had no-one to visit me!

Yeh, totally feel the same. Especially when my partner is in work and son is at nursery, it's just me . I think it's difficult, juggling your home, your family and social life and one (usually social life) gets thrown out the window. I also find it hard to make small talk or start a conversation. Do you have children? Maybe go to a play group and engage with other mums who maybe in the same situation. Be happy and good luck!