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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To suggest domestic abusers should lose their driving license ?

41 replies

Rashatash · 19/06/2019 22:46

As it says. Prompted by the other thread about child maintenance but different topic.
Wouldn’t it be a great idea to confiscate the driving licenses of abusive men.
In the first instance.
Alongside everything else.
We all know most face no consequences.
Wouldn’t it be good to make them a little less powerful?
Anyway. Who wants abusive men on the road .
We know the frequently drive aggressively too.
So it makes sense.
AIBU?

OP posts:
PregnantSea · 19/06/2019 23:10

I don't really see what it has to do with their crime though? I totally agree that more needs to be done and the current system needs looking at, but I'm not sure that this is the answer. I can see this potentially causing more problems for the victim as well

Rashatash · 19/06/2019 23:12

Hmm
So everyone is in agreement that it wouldn’t work. That’s a shame. I’d like to see these bastards stripped of passports, driving licenses, everything. But I understand all
The points made.

OP posts:
Rashatash · 19/06/2019 23:14

I’d like to see the perpetrator lose power. Any powers.
The current system doesn’t seem to achieve that.
Even prison seems cushy in comparison to the woman’s suffering.

OP posts:
ZippyBungleandGeorge · 19/06/2019 23:14

OP you know that not every victim leaves the abuser, so by taking the perpetrator's licence you're essentially trapping him/her there with the victim and children. Add to that the blame, resentment, lots of employment, inability to ferry around children..... Good job you don't work with risk of serious harm for a living. Even my admin wouldn't make such a ridiculous suggestion.

Rashatash · 19/06/2019 23:15

Or victim should I say. Male or female

OP posts:
ZippyBungleandGeorge · 19/06/2019 23:16

Have you been inside prisons OP? I have, lots of them. They are not like holiday camps regardless of what the daily mail will have you believe (read the prison inspectorate reports if you don't believe me) and actually short term prison sentences are ineffective, no time for effective rehabilitation but enough time for the offender to lose their job, accommodation and many other protective factors.

Rashatash · 19/06/2019 23:18

Yes zippy I do understand that.
It feels like not telling on the school bully, but of course I understand it.

OP posts:
CynthiaRothrock · 19/06/2019 23:18

I get what you are saying but unfortunately it wouldn't work. And what about the (very small) % of fake/mallicious reports?
There should be bigger deterrents and harsher punishments for all crimes but as pp said losing your licence is not a deterrent to driving offences so why would it work for other crimes?
Better education (pshe etc) and role models is a start. Better access to services for people being abused. And better reform services for abusers.

Rashatash · 19/06/2019 23:21

Yes zippy , briefly and it was a horror but I still draw the comparison.
What is the best way to punish an abusive man who won’t be sent to prison?

OP posts:
FiddlesticksAkimbo · 19/06/2019 23:25

Maybe better to leave sentencing policy to people who know something about it.

Gingerkittykat · 19/06/2019 23:27

Nice idea, but unfortunately unworkable.

With child support it acts as a stick, pay X or these are the consequences.

With DV there is a less clear cause and effect, don't hit your partner and you can drive.

Moralitym1n1 · 19/06/2019 23:28

Oh stop with all the "what about the menz, women abuse too" FFS.

How many men turned up.on mortuary slabs in the last ten yrs due to being murderer by their female partner or ex Vs women?

Moralitym1n1 · 19/06/2019 23:29

Where's Lundy Bancroft's book on female batterers?

saraclara · 19/06/2019 23:33

So they'd spend more time at home, more time getting angry (and blaming their partner for making them do whatever they did to get their license taken), and their partner would end up having to drive them everywhere, and having her freedom curtailed.

It's a no from me.

FiddlesticksAkimbo · 19/06/2019 23:38

What has the sex of the offender got to do with the sentence anyway? It's not relevant to the question!

DrPeppersPhD · 19/06/2019 23:40

Did you drink at luncheon?
No, of course it wouldn't work, for a variety of reasons.
A. Not all domestic abusers drive, so it can't be a blanket ban.
B. Domestic abuse is usually about control, all you're doing is taking away control which is going to make them worse.
C. The threat of losing your liscence doesn't deter driving offences, let alone something not even related to driving.
D. If you're the kind of person to abuse your OH/kids, you're probably not going to give the shit from a monkey's anus about breaking the law about driving either.
E. What does it actually achieve? Unless you take the car too, which the victim might need, it doesn't stop them driving, it only keeps them closer to the victim, it makes them angrier and more desperate for control and potentially exposes anyone in the vicinity to even more danger.
Also, how do you plan to strip them of "everything"? You can remove drivers liscence, passport, birth certificate if you want, but what does it achieve? All you've changed is the fact that now they'll have a harder time going abroad, big woop, I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I've used my passport other than that.
Might I recommend you leave laws and punishments to those who have a clue what they're on about?

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