to rule out a childminder on the basis of a 1 minute conversation?

[bohemianbint]

The bloke who answered the phone sounded like a total pleb and the actual childminder was fairly rude and unfriendly. Am supposed to go round there to meet her tomorrow but I might call it off to be honest.

I'm not being unreasonable at all actually, am I?

No

Trust your instincts - I find they are usually right. x

Message withdrawn

not unreasonable no but bare in mind its the school holidays and the childminder may be rushed off her feet. I have 8 kids this week and DH is home so i can imagine i would sound stressed on phone and that DH would sound rude!! Not intentional. Make your mind up after visiting and if you are not going to visit PLEASE ring her and tell her cos other children may have to miss out on going out to wait in for you!!!!

Not at all - you have to feel comfortable with a childminder and I's say first impressions are usually spot on.

No not being unreasonable, sadly first impressions are important in something like this.

However , it is possible to get the wrong end of the stick on the phone - maybe she and DH had just been rowing or something? If she was recommended to you I would go for the meeting anyway. It can't hurt.

To be honest she sounded like there were no children there, it was an incredibly quiet house (so much so that I could hear the bloke whispering to her as he passed her the phone). I'm actually going to phone her now and cancel it - I'm a massive believer in going with your gut instinct! If nothing else I don't want DS learning social skills from these people....

Are you going to tell her why you are cancelling?

wasn't going to - do you think I ought to say her rude manner put me right off?

Depends how brave you are!!!

I wouldn't have met dh. He advertised a spare room. I phoned. I thought he sounded wierd. I nearly didn't go. As soon as he opened the door, I realised what a "nice man he was" - and it was for that VERY reason, that we are now married.
Some people do sound a bit nerdy on the phone.
Go and see her. You will know then.

do you have millions of other childminders to choose from?

I think you would be MAD to rule her out for a 1 min phone call

meet her in person then decide

I think you should phone and cancel - up to you if you tell her why or not.

I think your gut reaction is really important and even if you have a good visit tomorrow you will be worried about leaving your child there which means its not going to work out for you

It's hard to get a proper first impression over the phone. I'd say go and see her - where's the harm, if only to have your suspicions confirmed? My childminder sounds like a real miserable cow over the phone because she's quite shy and doesn't have a 'professional' phone manner that I'm used to with work. She is, however, absolutely wonderful in the flesh and I'm so glad I did go and see her after being a bit 'meh' about her phone manner.

(Though you don't say what the rudeness was. I mean, if she told you to piss off then fair enough...)

Go with your instincts.

It's probably worth seeing her in person. Some people do have an awful telephone manner, but are perfectly nice in themselves.

I'd say go and see her first - not everyone has a great telephone manner.

Agree with IdrisTheDragon - go and see her then go with your gut instincts,

some people are crap with grownups and good with children. go and see them

Did you go and see her?

I would go but you will probably make your mind up within about 5 minutes, i went to see lots of cm's and pretty much knew straight away whether they were right or not

No go with your gut instinct!

YANBU, our first impressions are often the best, most accurate ones!

Save her, and your, time!

yanbu