To wonder why other women do this?

[Conflicted121]

I have two separate women who I have socialised with on several occasions as part of a wider social circle at separate times. I have only ever been nice to them and I don’t speak about people behind their backs. I am polite and kind. Not the funniest most outgoing person but I am sure that I have done nothing to upset them.

Both women know my husband only through our children attending the same school. Yet, every time we see them at the school or around the village, they will say hello DH (by name) and totally blank me.

I still smile and say hello but it bothers me. I pointed it out to my husband once and as soon as he saw it himself, he just started ignoring them.

I am certain there is nothing untoward with my husband so it must be me right?

Don't know what to tell you tbh. This happens all the time to me.

I went for a coffee with a woman at work last week : she totally blanked me today. And she saw me!

I've no idea. The professionally offended..?

Some people are dude OP. Glad to hear your DH sticking up for you - that is more valuable then silly people with no manners.

RUDE (although some people are dudes too).

No idea. Someone at my hobby is all sweetness and (still steely eyed) light to me in front of her boy friend and then blanks me entirely when he's not there. She looks through me. I just assume it's insecurity. It's certainly rude.

I would be perfectly fine if they just ignored me completely. It’s the fact that they both openly say “hello DH” with me right next to him when I have socialised with them both more than once and they know who I am.

They must know what they are doing. If I walk past more than one person where I know all of the people then I usually just say “hello” rather than address by name.

Are you a bit pretty? Or slim? As some women will blank just for that. I had a colleague who refused to talk to me purely because she ‘hates skinny people’ which was the only thing she said to my face.

I take care of myself but definitely nothing special.

Wow Herbal, how did you respond to that comment?

Is he perhaps more outgoing than you? Or do they know him better than you from the school run or something? A guy I work with, I've grown fairly close to (think 6 weeks working in a shop that gets maybe 5 customers a day and we consider that a good day.) and I'll say hi to him in the street but his girlfriend I hardly know and I never know whether to say anything to her or not. She just sort of stares at me so I smile awkwardly at her but don't really know whether to try and make small talk or not. It's weird, because I feel like I know her from things he says about her but I don't.

I think next time they say yellow to your husband you pipe up and say ‘oh hello X, haven’t seen you since the lunch blah blah!’ Surely then they have to acknowledge you!

Stupid question but have they forgotten your name?

@Conflicted121

Definitely can relate to this. DH used to pick up our kids from school at 2.55pm, when he worked 6-2 permanently for a few months.

I dropped them off at the door at 8.30am on the way to work, and they ran in. I never spoke to anyone in the morning, as I was only there a few seconds dropping them off.

But HE would wait at the school gate at 2.45pm for them coming out at 2.55pm, and would have time to chat... (I didn't finish work til 3.30pm so couldn't get back in time to get them.)

Lots more parents (mostly mums) were waiting, and several of them used to speak to him, (single mums,) and one even asked him to come back for a coffee one time! He said 'errr no sorry gotta get back!' and bolted off.

Anyway, this one time, I had a week off, and I went with him at 2.45pm to meet the kids, and the one mum who he spoke to every day (and had done for several weeks and who had asked him to come round for a coffee,) said to him 'Hi how are YOU today' with a massive grin THEN she saw me, and her face hit the floor.

She looked at me for about 5 seconds, then started talking to DH, and ignored me completely. She then went on to ignore me continually all week. By the last day I pointed it out to DH, and he said he hadn't noticed.

He was a bit bothered that I was annoyed and upset by it, and started ignoring her after that. He waited at a different gate at the school to avoid her.

But this is not the only time this kind of thing has happened. With women AND men. DH and me have been to look at cars lately AND to a sci-fi EXPO, and men talk to him, but ignore me. Can't figure out if they don't want talk to me as I am a woman and obviously know sod-all about cars or sci-fi OR if they simply don't know how to talk to women. Both probably!

And I know this sounds like I am blowing my own trumpet, but on the occasions it has happened with women, I put it down to them being jealous of me. There are a number of reasons that I won't go into. But yeah, they were definitely jealous.

Sorry, I meant to say, when I went to the school with DH and the mum at the gate said 'Hi how are YOU today!' - to DH, he said 'hi,' and introduced me to her. He said 'not sure if you have met my wife here...' And THEN she looked at me for 5 seconds, and then ignored me thereafter...

So she knew who I was.

I’ve never known any women who do this specific thing. How odd. And bad luck to meet more than one such oddball

I get this OP too, from my neighbour. Similar age. She says hello to DH and has a bit of a chat if they happen to be in the front gardens at the same time. If I’m there, barely any eye contact and she scuttles off.

Racked my brains. Jealousy? Maybe. Possibly. But think it’s probably that DH is just more outgoing. Some women are just freer to talk to men. There’s no edge. People are weird.