Nursery problems am I overreacting?

[LoganPeanutButter]

First time ever on here people, sorry if I'm doing it wrong!
My son is 4 he has been in this particular nursery since January this year. He loves it but the last few weeks he has been waking up in the night sobbing , but only one the days he is in nursery(Mon, Wed and Fri) . Evrrytime we get there he asks if this certain staff member will be there, he isn't fond of her as he told me she always tell him off or "sits him out" for basically nothing. She "forgot" to give me his graduation letter and photo consent form , everyone else got theirs days before. I was given 12 hours notice for his school photos when all the other parents were told a week in advance. His names not on the welcome board when you go in but every other kids name is.
He said he wanted to be a superhero when he grow up and she said you cant its not a real job! Hes 4 not 14 thinking of career choices . Hes been told he cant play games woth the othrr kids as hes standing to far away instead of encouraging him to play. We got there 3 minutes early one time and she asked us to go wait outside as we were early. I could understand 10 - 15 minutes but 3!? This woman is his key worker and she doesn't say a word to me ever. And to thicken the plot her mother runs the place so I feel like I won't be taken seriously or I'll get fobbed off or something. I don't know wether I just mention the way am feeling to the manager or go above them maybe to the nursery company. Has anyone been in this situation before? Any advice?

If he is 4 is he leaving to go to school in September? In which case I would just not worry too much about it. Our pre school would not let you in 3 minutes early either.

From a nursery worker’s point or view, is ask for a change of key worker? Is there anyone he does get along with? Perhaps just say he talks about them more and has a better bond with them.

Hi Op,

It’s so hard to know what is an accurate reflection of the day vs a child’s recollection or understanding sometimes, nevertheless he is upset. Have you asked him what worries him about the member of staff?

I would then book a meeting with the manager to discuss his behaviour (assuming there is a problem in their eyes if he is being repeatedly told off)
If they tell you there isn’t a problem with his behaviour you can tell them what he is reporting and ask that maybe they use a different tactic with your son since it’s having a detrimental affect on him. They could perhaps send the staff member on behaviour management training- people who work with children don’t tend to like them upset - quite the opposite in fact!

The certificates probably was a mistake , so I wouldn’t dwell on that. The photos is annoying but I’m sure unintentional, simply ask if there is something you’ve missed in order to find out information & communication from nursery & see what they say. You could say you nearly missed the photo info. It could be as simple as a misspelled email address for example.

Hopefully an honest, non confrontational conversation will help you get to the bottom of what’s going on, they might let you do a stay & play in the room too so you can see for yourself. If you feel a conversation would be tricky then send an email- hopefully you’ll get it sorted

I would talk to them and be calm but honest, say what you've said in your post. Asking for a different key worker is a good idea. Otherwise if it was my kid, I'd look at moving him. It sounds pretty miserable :(

I work in a nursery, what you have said sounds like he is deliberately being targetted. I'd withdraw him ASAP, dont leave him there even if it is just a few more months as for him it will feel like forever and he is obviously very distressed. You should still speak to the manager as if this woman is picking on your child she is a bully who needs to be called out. So sorry your son is going through this.

That sounds awful! Please remove him if you can, no child deserves to be targeted like that

Oh my god people , thank you all so much for the messages. I am defo going to speak to the manager . I know some things I said she has done are petty it just makes me angry as the little things add up. He has his graduation next week then I'm removing him after that. I don't what him to miss out on his little graduation with his friends. Thank you for the advice everyone x

Hi OP,

I also agree you should speak with the manager. Don’t worry about the manger being related to her, that shouldn’t stop you. We as parents should be advocating for our children and ensuring that they are being treated fairly.