To ask if my 1 year old would remember a hospital stay at 4 months?

[worriedwinfred]

DD is just turned 1 and I took her yo be weighed today. As soon as she saw the scales she clung to me like a little monkey and screamed she was literally shaking.
I don't know what made her so nervous or upset.
Thinking back we took her to see my grandad in a nursing home a few weeks ago and when she saw his hospital bed she did the same thing.
The only thing I can think of is that she's remembering when she was admitted to hospital a 4 months with bronchiolitis and was on oxygen and had an NG tube and cannula it was quite traumatic but I didn't think she would remember that. Aibu to think she's thinking of this when getting so upset?

My 1 yo clearly acted like she remembered her jabs (which were 6 months before), so I’d be inclined to think so.

At that age, I think it’s more than extremely unlikely.

Its probably just the unfamiliar environment.

Not so much remembered it as associates it with a bad feeling. I don’t think they can put down well constructed memories properly until they’re a few years older otherwise we’d all have meaningful memories from a year old.

Unlikely. My kid was in the NICU for 67 days. He was then readmitted for bronchiolitis for 7 days and then again for 3 days a few months later. He has regular hospital follow ups and takes it all in his stride. He’s 2 now.

It's just so strange she gets in a real state with herself hopefully it's something she'll grow out of.

Do you remember being 4 months old?

What’s far more likely is that you are remembering the hospital stay, and she’s picking up the stress from you.

Honestly, don’t worry - she won’t remember it.

It’s probably just a strange environment that makes her uneasy.
I was taken to hospital several times as a 6 year old with suspected meningitis but I don’t remember a thing

I don't know but I would suggest it is more likely something she's seen since in a hospital or nursing home I would thing. Or maybe even TV or an advert.

Unlikely I'd say. She's probably just nervous about the environment for other normal reasons.

That being said my dad can recall plenty of memories from 6 months old onwards. He says he remembers the feeling of lying in the pram in the garden and the wind blowing on his face as well as some things that my grandmother was astounded about. I saw a television programme about it once, apparently it's a thing.

I think they do remember more than we think at that age. What I remember was a bit older with dd1.
She was 14 months at her second Christmas. At 22 months a catalogue came through the door, on the front cover was a Christmas tree. She took one look and said "Christmas tree" and then told me where it had been in the room, who'd visited, about her stocking (and what colour it was) and several other details that were exactly correct. We hadn't talked about Christmas or even looked at photos so I came to the conclusion she remembered it.
She didn't remember that Christmas a couple of years later. I think they do have memories, but they will lose then. So if you just treat going to the doctor in a matter of fact way, she should lose the bad memory and be fine.

I'm pretty sure I remember professor Robert winston doing some research into this (maybe it was in child of our time but not 100% sure) and they took children into scbu's and monitored their heart rates, the children who had been in scbu's when they were born showed an increased heart rate but the children who hadn't didn't - despite the children who had been in scbu's not actually remembering anything about being there at all. It was fascinating.

Yes, I know a little girl of 2.5 who has extremely advanced speech. She remembers who was first visitor at hospital, colour of the curtains, and umbilical cord coming off.

I think that it's assumed that children don't remember because their speech is rarely that good so young and they forget before about 3-4 when they are able to articulate.

I also have a memory of lying in the pram in the back garden. I can see the kitchen window, and also the coloured toy that was strung across the pram hood. It’s really strange, just the one memory. I know I was less than 18 months old as my brother was born then and he had the pram after that.

I think it is a very real possibility that she remembers a traumatic event. My son was 5
Months old when he went into anaphylactic shock for the first time-blue light to hospital, then they had the hardest time getting a drip in as all his veins disappeared. It was harrowing and the poor kid wouldn't sleep for
Months afterwards,every time he dropped off he would wake up screaming. As others have posted they do eventually forget. Hugs to you both x

Following as fascinating! I am sure it’s possible for babies to have memories that they then later forget. 4 months is young but who knows? It could just be her personality though. My DD would have done the same at 1. She is still very dramatic

xiona your poor DS, that does sound very traumatic.

I've told this story before but my DD had a 'superbaby' onesie that was 3-6m that she loved - we used to hold her up and pretend to make her fly 'superman' style, she loved it 😁 buy obviously outgrew it quite quickly... We kept it for siblings and when DS came along and got to the right age I dug it out for him and as soon as she saw it DD - then 2½yrs - said "that's my Superbaby costume!"! I was astounded, we'd no pictures of her in it so she'd clearly just remembered! So I Do believe they can remember, particularly when it wasn't that long ago, and they had strong associations?

Thank you @Emmapeeler it was the most traumatic thing I have ever had to go through-thankfully he no longer remembers!

I'm fairly sure I've read in several places that traumatic hospital care as an infant can continue to reverberate. Traumatic experiences as an infant can continue to affect the child as they grow up.

It's about trauma (in terms of how PTSD works) rather than "remembering" as such. I seem to recall an interview on the BBC website with a woman diagnosed with PTSD as an adult from a hospital admission that occurred when she was a baby and that she had no conscious memory of.

So, whilst you don't remember the experience, your brain remembers that you previously felt threatened/unsafe/pain the last time you encountered a hospital bed or the smell of antiseptic etc and then reacts as if you are in danger every time you encounter those things.

It takes longer for your brain to relearn that those things can be encountered safely - it takes a prudent approach to protecting you from danger.

I won't pretend to know how you can help a one year old to heal from something like this. I'm not even sure where you could seek professional advice in terms at least of not inadvertently making it worse. My comments are based on adults with trauma (whether the trauma happened as an adult or child).

Making sure she feels safe, comforted and protected whenever she faces a stimulus that frightens her like this will be important. I doubt trying to force her to accept it whilst frightened will help (more likely just to reinforce the threat association in her brain), but having you make her feel safe should help.

Eg, don't make a big deal of the bed, try treating it as something you're not interested in or bothered by while you just happen to be in the room with it doing something calm, safe, soothing and nice together (could you take her into the room to do something that doesn't involve approaching the bed? Like playing in a corner or something?). That way she learns she can be around those beds without anything nasty happening to her. The more experiences of safety the better to help her brain relearn it's not a threat.

I remember a hospital stay when I was around 2 so I think it's entirely possibly for her to remember it.

DD1 spent a lot of time in hospital during her first few months. By the time she was 12 months when we took her to the drs she would scream and thrash and would be desperate to get out.
I think that she didn't remember it but had a strong association that something she didn't like was going to happen. So in answer to your question in a way yes.

Their memories at that age are not that advanced.

However, certain smells or sounds could trigger a reaction in her subconsciously. Remembering her fear, not what caused it.

Like @Witchend days after around 5/6 years old you tend to forget memories under around 3/4 years. Your brain prioritises memories. They call it childhood amnesia.

DS was hospitalised with double pneumonia at 5 months. Like a pp, disappearing veins and desperation to get a cannula in meant he was held down and I wasn't allowed near him while they worked on him. He was distraught and could see me but I couldn't get to him and it created severe separation anxiety. After that, needles and hospitals were unbearable to him. He had scarred lungs and was prone to chest infections and as soon as we entered hospital each time, he would panic, shake, scream.

He has no memory of any of it now. Not in any meaningful way but at 7yo, he is still very scared to leave me and petrified of doctors.