To think it’s uncouth to talk about future inheritances

[Stripyseagulls]

My friend is obsessed with money. She is constantly talking about how much her parents house is worth, how much she will inherit etc etc. It makes me feel really uncomfortable. She’s an only child and I think it’s made her worse- she’s a bit ‘world revolves around me’. While I might inherit something, I don’t even want to think about it to be honest.
She also talks a lot about how much her house is worth, how loaded the new boyfriend is etc. I am not loaded but even if I was, I wouldn’t talk about it. It just seems ‘uncouth’ as my mother would say 😂
Aibu?

YABU to put it down to being an only child. Some of us aren’t raised as spoilt brats.

'Vulgar' is the good, old-fashioned word I'd use.

Your friend will get a big shock if her parents do what a friend of my parents did.
Parents friend was a wealthy widow with one child (son )
She had sold her house, a very expensive detached, to her bank years before with a clause that she lived in it until her death, which she did. Then the house obviously belonged to the bank.
She spent all the money on care home fee's for her husband until he died and the rest she spent on holidays and things like that, until she became too infirm to continue, so the rest was spent on carers and cleaners etc.
Her son had a hell of a shock when she died and he found out about it. He ended up with something like 4K.
He wasn't rubbing his hands then.

Bit of an oxymoron too, or at the very least presumptuous. An inheritance is only an inheritance after you've inherited it!!!

I just wouldn't react when she brings the topic up. Just mumble 'That's nice' and move the conversation on.

My sister's like that. I mind a phonecall when she was desperately trying to make me jealous about her pending trip to Australia. It didn't work. It was highly amusing hearing her trying to get a reaction from me and failing miserably - the number of times she managed to fit in references to the plac.e in one conversation was hilarious. I don't have much money and it really doesn't bother me.

Next time say "You do realise that your actual mum and dad will have to die first? It sounds like you are looking forward to that".
My pil died. My dh inherited enough for us to have a proper cushion for once. We would both hand it back tomorrow if we could have them back

I don’t even want to think about my parents dying I will get nothing off them because they have nothing to leave us and that’s fine by me. The only people I might inherit off are my grandparents but they are both in their 80’s and still going and in all honesty I don’t want their money wouldn’t bother me if it all got left to a charity.

It's pretty sad really. I can't imagine anyone saying things like that. It seems so materialistic and unloving.

Next time just tell her that she's unlikely to inherit anything because most of it will be used up to fund elderly care!

@creakingknees id be rubbing my hands at 4k! Its mad the dofference between people and money!

My in laws are always talking abut how much my husband will get after they die. We don’t want it and we really are not bothered - they love telling me how I’ve done well..... errrrrr no. My husband is successful in his own right without their money thanks - and it’s not like I don’t work either.

What a strange person. She shouldn't expect anything. Hope her parents spend the lot before they depart this world .

I'd feel quite embarrassed and uncomfortable in her company when she said things like that.

My view is I want my parents to spend as they want. Money is for the living and they deserve to have every experience they want. I genuinely don’t care if there’s not a penny left. They’re important, not the money.

I have a relative who has pushed her parents into selling their house because she knew it was going to be a nightmare to sell and wanted them in something she can turn over quickly. It’s awful. They’ve probably got another twenty years in them and they’ve left their home of 40 years that they loved and are not happy at all in the new place.

That said, I’m going through a lot right now because H has wasted what he did inherit. It’s made me think it can be a burden sometimes and definitely encourage recklessness.

@Fakenametodayhey I would be happy with that too ( i would rather have my parents though, which i think most of us would )
He was expecting a big country pile, along with stocks and shares and all that kind of thing, in short, a couple of million.
Oh how i laughed

My parents are very much alive and always going on holiday here, there and everywhere, which they should do. Get it spent on a good time Parents and enjoy.

I don't think it's uncouth to discuss money, and wills and the provisions in them amoung close family/friends.

In fact by not doing so some unfortunate outcome may occur.

Of course there is a "but", and it 's quite bad manners to discuss parental inheritances in any boastful manner.

For all this person knows, she may not be inheriting anything.

No I hate it too. My Dad keeps hinting that their estate is worth a lot but I don't want to know. I'm glad that they have cash if they need care but I really hope that they have such long and active lives that they're able to spend it all on themselves.

A colleague who I don't really know very well,very matter of factly, told me that her and her DH don't need to worry about their retirement because of the inheritance they have due.

I expressed shock that they'd rely on something so uncertain - what if it has to be spent on care etc and she told me it's OK the in-laws have promised to take a pill if it comes to that

One thing that's more common than people realise is , parent one dies, parent two re-marries then dies and leave everything to new spouse who then leaves it to their children.