Anyone else got an ex...

[MummyStruggles]

...who happens to be your daughter's father and who happens to be the biggest bell end you've ever come across in your life?!

Arrrgghhh!!!!!

I have a huge problem with confrontation and, although I am now married to the most amazing man, I still can't bring myself to tell my ex exactly how I feel about him when he behaves in a certain way. I know this is partly because I don't want to cause any issues for our DD, who gets anxious quite a bit, but also because I don't actually have the balls.

DD naturally likes to know that Mum and Dad are friends and everything is amicable. She's only 10, bless her. But in reality... shit me, he makes me so mad! So manipulative and controlling, still.

I know I need to just grow up, either grow some balls or learn to ignore him and get on with it but (again) Arrrgghhh!!!!!

In with anger, out with love, OP.

Just kidding. Get it all out there!

Don't have any bell end exes myself hanging about but for you.

Just bumping for you in case there's anyone else around who can empathise.

It is hard having bellend exes who you have kids with. I'm friends with one of my kids fathers. Though he's got a lot to answer for these last three years, he rarely sees his kiddy and I have to deal with the fall out. The other one's father is an abusive, manipulative, controlling freak. It's been so hard on them, seeing us get on with their sibling's father and not their own. When your DD is old enough, she will know the truth. But for now it's better she thinks you get on. In my opinion anyway.

Oh just write him letters and hide them deep in your PC.

I have an absolute cracker I still take a look at when he has really excelled himself. Cheers me right up. Because I am funny as fuck in it and he really was such an immense arse that time. Always is but that was an exceptional effort, even by his high standards.

Son still adores him, which is great, but he has worked out his dad is a massive man-baby.

A cursory glance around the boards will reveal you are not alone in that respect. All I can suggest is that you don't let him continue to get under your skin. So long as you keep everything factual and about your DD then not saying all will go swimmingly but it will become easier to detach from any psychodrama he wants to drag you through.

To be clear, never send these letters!

Having thought about this a bit more; I don't see anything wrong with you calmly... and I do stress this: calmly - telling him whenever he tries to pull a stunt that he's conducting himself in a manner which is not conducive to successful co-parenting.

In my honest opinion, you don't always have to suck it up and be the bigger person. Sometimes you just need to tell someone you're not interested in engaging in their madness and to come back to normal discussions when they've decided to conduct themselves as a respectable adult.

Thanks for the Bump!

Ooooh I do like the idea of writing (but not actually sending) him a letter! I could get it all out of my system without actually having to say the words to him!

He's just so fucking irresponsible. Really inappropriate with the shit he says to her, like she's an adult male friend. So unbelievably controlling too and there's just no point in saying anything to him because he'll always just tell me what he thinks I want to hear.

That's the kind of person we're talking about here. Arsehole!!

Oooo I had 1 of those , ( tell a lie ,2) best smile on 😊 , when you just know it’s utter rubbish , say , we both know I keep getting hold of the wrong end of the stick .so can you write down the plans your making so DD knows exactly what she’s doing ? Repeat best smile . This won’t last forever, 💐🍷

I have one of these too. A pathological liar, who is genuinely stunned that I don’t take everything he says on face value anymore. I count down the days until my daughter can take herself to and from his house and I’ll no longer be forced to see him.

I really do need to examine why I am such a shit bag when it comes to him though.

Like, the stuff he says to her, I would be well within my rights to turn to him and say "Are you for fucking real? Are you really saying this shit to your 10 year old daughter?"

It's almost as if he has no filter. Like he doesn't have the capacity to think to himself "Actually, I won't say that to her because she's 10 and she's my daughter and actually it's fucking inappropriate!!!"

I do need to chill out and, like a PP has said, just don't let him get under my skin! I'm hoping, with everything I own, she'll figure him out sooner rather than later!

My ex makes me feel like doing a Villanelle.

@MummyStruggles 😂😂😂👍
I have a bellend ex! Let it out sister

Oh god, mine too! And in the texts he sends to DS he always refer to himself in the third person! Total fucking wanker. I really hate how much I despise the man, but can't seem to rid myself of it.

@ChipInTheSugar Oh god, yes mine too! You should hear some of the nicknames/pet names he has for DD, it makes me criiiiinge so badly!

I can't ever understand how and why I ever let him near me. My skin physically crawls!!

Another quick vent if you don't mind OP... he usually drops DS off at 5 on Saturdays. Just had a text saying it'll be 7.30 today I wonder at what point it occurred to him that he wasn't going to be here by 5pm ...? I hate the controlling behaviour that still goes on, but I don't say anything so that he doesn't get the satisfaction of knowing it's pissed me off. Fucking wankertwat. I came home early from what I was doing today to be home by 5 - I would have loved to have carried on enjoying my one opportunity a week to do something for me. Arsehole.

@ChipInTheSugar Oh I've had another weekend of it too!! I cannot stand the guy and I hate the fact he's my daughter's father!

He's also recently (been split 7 years) decided that he'll just walk into my house without knocking too! I was upstairs with DD, she was getting a change of clothes and packing her weekend bag, I heard the front door open and close downstairs and he just casually shouts upstairs "Hello, anyone home"?!

Cheeky fucker!!