WIBU sending tired DS to school?

[NewSchoolNewName]

DS1 (7 yrs) had a very bad nights sleep last night, and was very sleepy and tired this morning, but I woke him up anyway and got him into school on time, and put a note about him not having slept properly on the ClassDojo system the school has for his teachers information.

I didn’t think any more about it until I took DS3 to soft play and DS1’s bad night came up in conservation with a friend.

My friend looked shocked and and told me that if her older DC is that tired, then she keeps them home from school to let them rest. She made it pretty clear that she thought me sending DS1 to school today was poor parenting on my part.
But honestly it never occurred to me to keep DS1 off, he’s not sick, he’s just very tired and I was planning on sending him to bed early tonight to try and catch up on his sleep. And now I’m doubting whether I’ve done the right thing.

WIBU sending DS1 to school today when he was very tired after a bad nights sleep?

YANBU at all. Occasionally, due to emergency situations that have disrupted DD’s sleep I’ve taken her in a bit later to let her wake up in her own time and the school have always been brilliantly understanding. But she’d have to be tired to the point that she had actual fatigue for me to keep her off school.

This reminds of a few times when I was at school, some children used to fall asleep with their heads on their desks!

I think if my child was so tired that falling asleep at school was a possibility, I’d probably let them wake up in their own time then take them!

My dc don't get days off from school for being tired, just like I don't get days off from work for being tired. And frankly, if they did, I'd probably lose my job.

I do have a school mum friend who keeps her dc off if they are tired, or had a bad morning, or have been in a bad mood, or whatever random reason it is this week. Her dc miss at least one day a week at school for this reason and are really struggling.

a disability changes the responses

Some might. It’s a physical thing with her. I could take the view she can go in her wheelchair and that would take away the difficulty with tiredness and movement. The reason I generally don’t is, she hates having to be full time in her wheelchair. That could be seen as sending the wrong message. Frankly, I couldn’t care. It teaches her that sometimes everyone needs a duvet day. As an employer, I’d much rather someone takes the day and be useless at home than useless in the office and cause me more hassle!

"As an employer, I’d much rather someone takes the day and be useless at home than useless in the office and cause me more hassle!"

I don't begrudge you anything to do with your daughter's well being, however your comment above really shocked me. As an employer there's no way I'm paying for someone to take the day to be useless! It costs me money and wastes my time and if that's an employee's attitude I'll employ someone reliable instead.

One of our cleaning staff age 37 is on a final warning for doing this. Calling up sick when shes just tired.
I think you did the right thing. School would call you to collect if there was a real problem.
Start as you mean to go on. Your friend is storing up problems for the future with her dc

YANBU. I was never allowed days off for being tired. I even had to go in for my final psychology exam at the very end of school on about 1.5 hours of sleep. If your DS were so tired that he felt ill then it may be a different story but if I stayed at home every time I was the slightest bit tired or had a bad nights sleep, I'd never leave the house. It teaches them a good lesson.

Once you start on the road of letting them take a day off school when tired it is difficult to do a u-turn when they cotton onto it.

ds(15) has a couple of friends who have regularly been allowed to take days off school when "tired", luckily for the parents they are old enough to be at home alone now and parents can still work. Both the boys have bad nights/feel tired and have the same days off school 🤣, ds says they plan it so they can have a day playing with their consoles.

recklessruby oh dear. Might your cleaning lady have something else going on if she is calling in that often. People go for years with tiredness only to find it was undiagnosed chronic fatigue syndrome, lupus, EDS, Fibro and so on. Maybe she should get checked out?

My DD woke up at 4.15am with a bad nosebleed. After settling her, washing her up and stripping the bed she was awake with no chance of any more sleep. So she was tired today but she went to school because tired isn't poorly and the nosebleeds are a pretty frequent occurrence usually linked to weather/pressure changes and pollen. If we did a day off for very nosebleed her attendance would be shocking.

You know your child, and you made a choice you were comfortable with. Ignore your friend

Ds is currently on half days going back to school after an operation (he is also disabled), this morning he was knackered but still went in - I had to go in mid morning anyway so was prepared to bring him home then if needed.

I think often taking them out of the routine of school can make it harder, a day at school and an early night (if possible!) is often the best way.

It is a play if by ear type thing though to an extent and depending on circumstances

Wow, I’ve never even considered keeping mine off because of a bad nights sleep. Maybe we should all start calling in sick at work ‘cause we’re tired too .

YANBU at all.

@mymycherrypie she certainly does have something else going on....another job on the side. She told the school to stuff the job today