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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Random person smoking in front garden

31 replies

writergirl007 · 19/06/2019 12:19

I live in a flat with a big shared (with 20-odd neighbours) front and back garden. The front garden is easily accessible though a small gate/stepping over a low wall. My neighbours and I jointly own the garden - it's private property and we pay for its maintenance.

The flats are opposite a sports club used as a creche during the day. A lady who I assume works there regularly (like, hourly), wanders into our garden for a cigarette. She normally hides behind a tree (presumably it looks bad to smoke outside the creche).

It irks me. It's private property. Sometimes she is joined by a colleague or two. I'll check for fag butts next time I go outside but it wouldn't surprise me if she left them behind.

AIBU to think about asking her not to smoke in a privately-owned garden? (I don't like smoking much, obviously).

OP posts:
BlueSkiesLies · 19/06/2019 12:21

Just go out next time you see her “Hi - please don’t come into our garden and smoke. This is private property. Thank you.”

EL2019 · 19/06/2019 12:23

Of course it’s not unreasonable to not want strangers smoking in your front garden.

Next time you see them go and tell them they are on private property and they need to move. Not sure why you didn’t do that the first time you saw them.

Any problems after that then a sprinkler on a “timer” that just happens to coincidence with their fag breaks would be a deterrent.

InTheHeatofLisbon · 19/06/2019 12:23

I'd tell her you're not happy with her using your garden to smoke in.

Dec2019mumtobe · 19/06/2019 12:26

I hate face to face confrontation so I'd be tempted to email/phone/visit the sports club to complain !!!

Original poster
writergirl007 · 19/06/2019 12:27

I'm not a fan of confrontation. Emailing the sports club is a good plan.

Just wanted to check I wasn't unreasonable to find this annoying. I think some people think shared gardens are open to anyone for some reason.

OP posts:
Jaxhog · 19/06/2019 12:30

Just go out next time you see her “Hi - please don’t come into our garden and smoke. This is private property. Thank you.”
This. It'll just take a moment, and you'll feel a whole lot better afterward!

If she persists, then call the sports club/creche. But they'll probably deny all knowledge and/or responsibility.

MaMaMaMySharona · 19/06/2019 12:31

I'd do the same as Dec2019mumtobe. I hate confrontation too! I'd also consider putting up a no-smoking/ private property sign.

Fakenametodayhey · 20/06/2019 17:53

Take a photo of them just incase they make out they havent been.

Original poster
writergirl007 · 20/06/2019 18:20

Thanks everyone. I took a photo and sent it to the sports club manager via email. He said he will speak to the creche manager about it - so we'll see if there is any change.

OP posts:
Chocolatehat · 20/06/2019 18:29

They are not hurting you. Leave them alone and get a hobby.

SkydivingKittyCat · 20/06/2019 18:31

Not sure I'd be wanting to leave my kids at at crèche where the staff are regularly smoking (in uniform?)

BogglesGoggles · 20/06/2019 18:31

@chocolatehat they are infringing on her property rights though.

Orangeballon · 20/06/2019 18:31

I would not like this either, you did the right thing, it’s totally inconsiderate behaviour.

Raspberrytruffle · 20/06/2019 18:33

Get a dummy camara put in the garden with a sigh saying smile your on camera! Grin

FoxSquadKitten · 20/06/2019 18:33

They are not hurting you. Leave them alone and get a hobby.

Alright if I come round yours and watch Eastenders later? I mean I won't hurt you, you'll barely notice I'm there.

mouldyhousemouldylife · 20/06/2019 18:35

@Chocolatehat we found the doormat!

SpitefulBreasts · 20/06/2019 18:38

So you've taken a photo of people smoking in your garden and sent it to the manager of the sports club. You've made the assumption that they are involved or work at the sports club/crèche?
It is very inconsiderate of them to use your garden for a fag break but why couldn't you just go out there and ask them not to use your private garden.
I think that's really weird and bizarre behaviour on your part

JustAnotherPoster00 · 20/06/2019 18:38

I remember back in the 80's growing up on a council estate and you all knew that busybody and where she lived, its good to see you're keeping up the traditions OP

Badwifey · 20/06/2019 19:14

I think you were wrong to send that email. You are making a much bigger deal of this than needs be. You should have just walked past her and said that she should not be using the garden as it is private property and given her the chance to stop using it before reporting her to her manager.

You and your neighbours might also consider a sign at the entrance explaining it is private property and not a public garden.

As for whoever said they would hate to send their child to a creche with staff who smoke... give over...

RagingWhoreBag · 20/06/2019 19:19

I came home the other day to find a couple stood on my actual doorstep, sheltering from the rain smoking! They stepped aside to let me open my door and explained they were just keeping dry, then as I went inside they stepped back under my porch!!!

YANBU to be annoyed, as it’s a regular thing not just a one-off. And if you don’t like confrontation then the email is a good option.

RagingWhoreBag · 20/06/2019 19:20

You and your neighbours might also consider a sign at the entrance explaining it is private property and not a public garden.

Sounds like there’s only one CF treating it as public property so it makes more sense to send the email and target this person directly than to put up a sign, which may just get ignored.

mumwon · 20/06/2019 19:23

actually there is a reason not to smoke it lingers on the clothes for over an hour and any baby gets second hand smoke - look if they were allowed to smoke don't you think they wouldn't find somewhere outside building on there side rather than hiding?ps I was told that nursery workers are not suppose to smoke when looking after children & when I child minder not only were we not allowed to smoke when dc were there neither was our family (no problem for us) I think you did right - why should you put up with them skulking & smoking on your property to avoid their bosses! & do you think these cheeky mares would have listened? reporting them was the way to go! (smoking affects asthmatics & very young baby even second hand smoking!)

cinnamonbun17 · 20/06/2019 19:38

A carer visits my neighbours most days. Every time she visits she parks her car outside my neighbour's house, smokes a few cigarettes behind her car, drops the cigarette butts onto the ground and goes into care for my neighbour's father.

I'm not a weirdo curtain twitcher! I feed my baby near our bay window so she is in my direct line of sight. Two things irk me about this - one is the cigarette butts she discards onto the floor (littering) and she must smell strongly of cigarettes when she is caring for my neighbour's elderly father. It's none of my business so I would never mention this to my (lovely) neighbour but this post has reminded me of my annoyance!

OP, I would be annoyed by this too although I think you should just ask the person not to smoke on private property rather than send the email. You should give them a chance to do the right thing first.

Original poster
writergirl007 · 21/06/2019 15:27

Update. The lady in question is now having cigarettes on the street, not in our garden, so clearly has been told it's not Ok.

She did seem to be looking angrily at the flats though...

She smokes on hell of a lot. None of my business but can't be healthy or cheap.

OP posts:
5foot5 · 21/06/2019 16:23

TBH the fact she is smoking is irrelevant, it is the fact she is intruding on private property that is most annoying. Surely it would be just as bad if she was popping in to your garden in her lunch break to eat her sandwiches and read the paper.