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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a 40 minute walk to school nursery is manageable?

361 replies

Heckythump1 · 19/06/2019 11:15

We are looking at pre-schools for September for an almost 4 year old. (We've just found out we have to move in a few weeks) we have a few choices but our favourite on paper is a school nursery 40 minutes walk away. Neither of us drive so we will have to walk whatever the weather, although there are buses for some of the journey.
We are visiting all options in the next week or so.
Am I being daft wanting to send them to a better place further away or should I send her to a closer one that I don't like as much?

OP posts:
FurrySlipperBoots · 20/06/2019 18:54

My mum didn't drive so I had about a 30 minute walk to and from nursery and school. It was just normal for me because I didn't know any different! It can't be much fun being the parent in that scenario though, especially in the winter when it's getting dark and pissing down rain and you have a virus and your kid is exhausted so having a meltdown...

Belenus · 20/06/2019 19:18

Plus an intensive course and a cheap run around car won't be too much less money than an electric bike with child seat!

The outlay might not be much different. But running a car is a money pit. An ebike makes little discernible difference to your electricity bill and has minimal running costs.

This thread is depressing. It's a 1.5 mile walk. So 3 miles a day and it's not everyday, for a four year old. No wonder so many people are unfit and obese. No wonder our air quality is so poor that people are dying earlier. Your legs don't fall off from walking 3 miles a day, or even the 6 miles the OP will be doing. Jesus wept.

Orangeballon · 20/06/2019 19:32

Not in winter and unlikely on a wt summers day.

NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 20/06/2019 19:37

This thread is depressing. It's a 1.5 mile walk.

Agreed!

Wimms33 · 20/06/2019 20:10

My 14 year old daughter has been diagnosed with hypothyroidism. It is classed as a serious chronic illness and has to be treated with medication, daily, for life. She is very positive and cheerful and I am very proud of her.
My issue is with school. Most of her teachers have no idea of how serious this condition can be, and sadly, my daughter has got used to the rolling of eyes when she complains of feeling cold, tired, unable to concentrate, feels hyper, etc etc, the symptoms are endless.
She has to take her medication when she wakes up on an empty stomach, and should eat between 30 - 60 minutes later, which often means that she has to eat in form time.
She has been told today, that she will have to leave the form room to eat alone, as her peers would wonder why they can't eat too!!!!!
Is it just me, or should teenagers see that rules can be broken when necessary, and that they can learn to understand that although someone can look OK, they are suffering on a daily basis.
I would love to know what you think,
Thank you for reading

adaline · 20/06/2019 20:13

Nobody is saying it's too far because it's 1.5 miles Hmm

They're saying choosing to walk that distance with a child in nice weather when you're not in a rush or cold or tired is very different from doing it day in, day out regardless of the weather, your mood and everything else that's going on.

I used to walk a similar distance to work and while I loved it in the summer, in the pissing down horizontal rain or snow in the dark it was utterly depressing!

sycamore54321 · 20/06/2019 20:16

Nobody is saying a 1.5 mile walk is impossible. What they are saying is that it’s a very unattractive option and seems to represent a complete waste of time to commit to something so time-consuming when there are nearer alternatives. It’s one thing mustering enthusiasm for your fourth leg of the day when you don’t have another option, it’s quite another when you know you could have chosen otherwise.

I doubt many of the “it’s not big deal” posters have deliberately chosen schools that are as inconvenient and time-consuming to access as this one is for the OP.

It would be a very different thread if the options were 40 minute walk vs no access to education for the child. The reality of an unnecessary 40 minute commute would give me pause for thought in the real world and would be something I’d avoid if I had another choice. And I love walking!

HorridHenrysNits · 20/06/2019 20:22

Yes, the bemoaning is stupid. It's not that a 4 year old can't do a 1.5 mile walk, it's that doing tired it at the end of a long day in preschool is likely to be hard going for all concerned, especially uphill and in foul weather.

Wholikestoparday · 20/06/2019 20:34

When my daughter started nursery getting into the pushchair was almost too much she was so tired. This doesn’t sound very fair on the child

Natsku · 20/06/2019 20:41

This thread made me decide to look up how far away is the nearest (and only) nursery since my town shut down all the daycares/nurseries and combined them into one big mega-daycare and it's 2.5 miles and I don't drive. Would have been manageable before but since having DS I can barely walk half an hour.

Luckybe40 · 20/06/2019 20:44

Absolutely NO! It might be okay with all the time in the world twice a week now, but once they hit reception, both my extremely endless crazy, crazy energy DS and my tough as nails take on anything DD cried and cried having to do the 12 minute walk home after school. They were so so tired! Reception and Y1 is really hard on them, they really don’t have anything left in the tank at the end of the day... Don’t force a 40 minute walk on them after school, it’s too tough on them. Let alone the bad weather & play dates, sports day, school productions, parent & teachers meetings, after school clubs should you go back to work (you never know!!!) collecting them when they are ill...you’ll be at school a lot more than you think you will be. Not a great idea IMO.

itsabongthing · 20/06/2019 20:47

Would you be working in the years you have dc at that school? Would be good for fitness but that is potentially nearly 3 hours out of your day.

itsabongthing · 20/06/2019 20:50

And yes, if they have a friend coming home with them for a play, or if you have an after school activity, or one in a club after school and the other one not.
I think it would be fine to plan to mostly walk if you could drive or get a lift for those times it was needed, but I think it’s a down side to this one if you have other options.

Also remember those times they have to carry in the volcano/pirate ship/roman villa/Stone Age house model they have made over half term!

DaisyCarrington · 20/06/2019 20:52

This thread is depressing. It's a 1.5 mile walk.

Agreed!

Thirded!

itsabongthing · 20/06/2019 20:57

@missnevermind
But yes nobody seems to walk anymore and treat it like child abuse 😂

Many people have to be somewhere, like work for example???

ChristmasFluff · 20/06/2019 21:02

I'm big on walking, but something to consider is I suddenly got really heavy periods and would leak through a superplus tampon and a pad in 20 minutes - the time taken to drop off or pick up son from school (so there and back). I know you cab't live your life on what ifs, but....

40 minutes' walk was my secondary school journey. Cannot imagine taking a 4 year old on it.

ineedtostopbeingsolazy · 20/06/2019 22:10

I wouldn't DRIVE a 40 minute commute there and back twice a day. It takes far too long. It's not even the same as a commute to work as you only actually do that twice a day.
It's not about whether a child can physically manage that walk it's the time it takes out of your day (not least that it's fucking miserable to do it in the pouring rain, snow or ice). I've got too many other things to do to afford that time.

If course a child can do the walk. Will they like it and skip along happily every time in all weathers or if they feel unwell? No, but if the OP is happy to cope with that then that's up to her.

There will be plenty of times the OP will feel unwell but she'll have to do the walk 4 times.

Not to mention that OP is right at the start of the 'school day' and may be full of enthusiasm but it doesn't last Grin I've been doing some sort of drop off and pick ups (pre school, nursery, school etc) for about 17 years now and I hate it I'm tired of it and can't be bothered with it most days. And I drove it.
I still feel like that even now my last child ds is at secondary and gets the bus home.

PregnantSea · 21/06/2019 06:02

Do people really think that an able bodied 4 year old is incapable of walking that distance a couple of times a week? Wow, no wonder we're all getting so bloody fat.

OP do it. You like the nursery, your DC will be getting plenty of exercise, and if after a few months you decide it really is too much you could always move her to a closer nursery.

Or just buy a car like loads of people on here are advising. Oh but also don't you dare have anymore children after this one because THAT would be bad for the environment.

Belenus · 21/06/2019 06:47

Nobody is saying a 1.5 mile walk is impossible.

And there was nothing in my post to suggest that was the case. But they are saying that any form of active travel over what is really a very short distance is just so damn inconvenient that the OP must learn to drive ASAP and get a car because it's the only thing that will really work for her. And that is depressing. It's depressing that so many people see cars as the only answer to this.

Humans evolved to be able to walk and run over long distances. It's the thing that gave us an evolutionary advantage over other hunters. It's what our bodies are adapted for. A 40 minute walk isn't wasted time, it's time spent walking. And it's so sad that so few people want to do this.

HorridHenrysNits · 21/06/2019 06:49

No pregnantatsea, pretty much nobody thinks that. As explained at length a mere few posts up from you.

sycamore54321 · 21/06/2019 06:57

Exactly what horridhenry has said. I’ve seen relatively few posts mention driving. A great many posters have pointed out that the cost in time, energy and joyfulness of a mandatory 40 minute walk on the same route every single time twice or four times a day is a pretty high one. So the “better” nursery would want to be a heck of a lot better than the nearer options.

Or you know, we’re all lazy slobs and our children are too, and you’re one of the last remaining virtuous, wholesome, worthwhile human on MN. The people telling her it’s fine, they walked 40 minutes in the park just this sunny morning, won’t be there cheering her on when it’s a cold, dark, damp Tuesday in February ...

Bugsymalonemumof2 · 21/06/2019 07:05

1.5miles can also vary on the route itself. My Dds primary school is only 1.1 mile away but up and down two massive hills, I doubt I can even push ds in his buggy up them let alone get a 4 year old to manage them. 1.5 miles on a flat, scootable route would be manageable for us

user1480880826 · 21/06/2019 07:12

Cycling will soon get you fit.

It would be grim in winter though. It will possibly be dark on your way there and/or back.

notsusan · 21/06/2019 07:14

I think the reality of that will be miserable a lot of the time, sorry

ItMustBeBedtimeSurely · 21/06/2019 07:22

It's fine, you'll both be fit. I really don't see what all the fuss is about.

We live just over a mile (all uphill on the way) from school and we've always walked, because I think it's important for kids to get fresh air and exercise. Done this since my youngest was 3.

You just need decent coats so you don't get wet.