Handhold for dog advice.

[Seeleyboo]

Sorry for using AIBU it's more of a WWYD but theres so much more traffic on here and I could really use your help.

I have a 13 year old Chihuaha. She's never been blessed health wise but she struggles to walk and her knees are displaced as well as her hips on the way out. The vet has said very short walks but preferably don't. She has dementia and her eyesight is going. I think her hearing is on it's way out too. She's overweight and even the vet has said I cant reduced her food intake anymore and she must eat on a carpet or her legs will slide and she will star fish. She's becoming incontinent too with no2s. She has no idea she's pooping. With all that said she's super happy and still very loving. She has her monthly pamper session but sadly still stinks to high heaven. Old age I'm told. I have 2 others too who are 12 and 11 and seem to be aging a little better. WWYD. She doesn't appear to be in pain.

She can't walk, can hardly stand, can't see very well, cant hear very well and has lost control of her bowels. Would you want to live like that? I wouldn't. Ultimately it's your desicion though and it is a very difficult one, sorry about your dog

Do you mean WWYD in terms of advice or WWYD would we PTS?

The kindest thing now would be to have her put to sleep. So sorry OP

Yup. I thought you would recommend that. It sounds more dramatic in writing and honestly if I thought she was suffering I would have her PTS hence why I am confused with my feelings. She seems so happy and jolly. She waddles along and her back legs are floppy but seems to be oblivious to her self and that's why I'm struggling. Even the vet has said, well she seems happy and not in any pain but yes you're right. How would i feel in this instance.

We pts when my childhood dog was like this. My parents knew the day when they got up in the morning and she didn't want to go outside for her morning wee, wasn't asking for breakfast just lying in bed. Shed been losing control of her bowels over the past months and slowly stopped asking for walks down to out right refusing to go. Completely not herself and just looking at my parents like she was in pain. You've got to ask yourself is your dog still enjoying life more than suffering? If the balance is starting to tip towards more and more suffering you should look to be kind to them.

It seems that despite her reduced mobility she is happy in herself and coping with her lot! If you feel able to continue to clean up after her and manage the odour, then until there were signs your pet was unhappy or suffering I would keep going.

I do know though that, from what you've described regarding her current condition, this would be justification enough for many pet owners to call it a day.

It's a tough one: one of the most awful aspects about having pets is trying to make sure you call time neither too early nor too late.

I would be guided by your vet. They will help you decide when it's time.
That said, I believe a day to early than a day too late.
[Flowers] it's so hard!

@loopylu2019

I feel I am waiting for the day where she is unhappy and it will justify my decision I guess.

@Hometheatre

Shes seems so happy and completely oblivious. That could of course be the dementia.

Ergh why is this so bloody hard

In your position, I would PTS.

Why wait until she's deteriorated so much she's in pain and obviously unhappy? She's got a range of issues that will impact on her quality of life, poor thing.

With her lovely nature, she could be masking some pain and discomfort.

Easy for me to say from the outside, though. I just regret not having my cat PTS sooner, I kept her going for me when it would have been kinder to let her go earlier.

for you OP.

In your situation I would put her to sleep. But it’s a personal decision and pretty much the worst thing about dog ownership is having to make this call.

Oh OP I'm sorry I'm at the start of this journey with one of mine, signs of dementia and she's slowing down a lot now, doesn't want to go for walks, will come to the door but turns and goes back to her bed when I get the leads out. She's also not in pain but we're making adjustments as we go. I worry I'll get the timing wrong too. As a pp said, be guided by the vet, and your dog. Mine sometimes toilets inside and she does get a bit upset about it, it's more urge incontinence though, like she can't hold it for as long and so dashes to the door and I can't get there fast enough! I have the same problem!
I understand why you're torn, I've always said as long as they're happy and not in pain then they've got a quality of life, but I think I'd be considering it with your dog now tbh, which is really hard.

OP I would be surprised if the dementia was playing a role in masking any pain or discomfort your dog might be feeling but maybe check with the vet so at least you know for your own peace of mind?

Thanks all.

@grumpy bless you. It's so hard isn't it.

I've just spoken to the vets and booked her in for 28th for a full check up. I will go over all the options. I will keep you updated.

@that'sunusual

I agree with you. It's like I am waiting for a sure sign to say do it now when as you said, why wait. I am so torn. I need more justification i guess. I've done this twice before and i still ask myself did i get the timing right. Did i do it too soon.

It is a hard call. I have an elderly cat who despite now having a litter tray whcih he gets into does a wee, turns round and round in the tray and then gets out of the tray to do a poo on the tiled kitchen floor, tries to cover it up, goes back to the food bowl, then goes half way back to the litter tray then does another poo on the kitchen floor then comes to me to beg for more food.

I can tell he is happy. He purrs so much and head bumps me and pats me to stroke him. He's thinner than he was but not painfully thin. Vets checked him over a couple of months ago and gave a clean bill of health. fo nore i'll leave him be but if he deteriorates I'll need to pts. I don't want to but thetime will come. He is 19.

Our pets are our lives and the end is not nice. I'm sure your instinct will tell you if your dog is ready to go.
Flowers for you OP.

Better too early than too late. Don't wait for her to be miserable, or have a fit. Do it while you can book a suitable time, be unhurried, get her happy and relaxed. Sorry Ikknow it's so hard

My friend who is a vet told me that she would rather PTS 1 week early than 1week late.
Once an animal shows they are suffering then they really are as they usually try to mask it. I’ve been guilty in the past of holding onto a beloved pet too long but the last time we had to pts I think we got it right
You have my sympathies OP but it sounds like your dog doesn’t have much quality of life

@fingernails

So sorry. Hugs.

@hopping.

That's great advice actually. Never thought of it that way. Many thanks.

I would pts in this case. Your dog is very old, has lost her dignity and is never going to get better. Far better to fix a date so you can give her end of life pampering and treats and then let her quietly slip away. The alternative (and it's happened to me) is you are suddenly faced with an emergency where you have to rush an old, confused and dying dog to the vet, with the loss of being able to say a proper goodbye in the comfort of your own home. I know it's hard, but you have to think of the dog, not yourself. Sorry. Our last dog was pts at home, and although I still miss him terribly, there was also a sense of relief that he was no longer suffering, and watching him struggle had been, I realised afterwards, incredibly stressful.

Sadly I would let her go. I think enough is enough. She's only going to struggle more, isn't she? I understand the pain, I had to have my beloved dog pts but I do believe a kind gentle end at home in their own bed is much better than dealing with a collapsed or stressed dog due to leaving it too late.

I was in (almost) your exact position last March with our 14 year old cocker, he was wandered, blind, deaf, started pacing, couldn't quite make the back door everytime he needed a wee.

We made the decision and said goodbye at home (I never considered this but husband asked the vet, and they were more than happy to come down and do it).

Agree 100% with Hopping rather 1 week to early than 1 second too late, I don't regret it at all.

Sending love, here if you need to talk.

@Seeleyboo

It is indeed hard, because we care for our animals and want the best outcome for them. Bless you and your little dog 💐

It's so hard when they gradually decline because there isn't a clear moment where their life has significantly deteriorated, meaning you a forced to make an immediate decision. My 10 year old small breed was PTS just a couple of weeks before her 11th birthday. She didn't age well and life wasn't kind to her, I rescued her when she was 5.

She was diagnosed with chronic kidney failure and I had her PTS a few days later. I still feel awful in a way, because she would still play with me and her bumble bee toy, but she was starting to develop tremors and I was worried how much worse she would get, and that she would be so far down the path of being unwell I'd be waiting for her to pick up a bit to then let her go. DH didn't really want to let her go, and I remember thinking am I doing it now for her benefit or mine, so I didn't have to see her really start to suffer.

Deep down I know it was the right thing for her. She hated the vets and this meant we had her PTS at home, albeit still an unpleasant experience. It's a hideous decision to have to make. My motto with pets is that I would rather let them go early, whether that's a few days, weeks or months, than a day too late.

Sending hugs

@iloveshocks. Thank you. You've hit the nail on the head. I wonder if I'm thinking this way for my benefit and not hers but then when I think of doing the deed I question myself again with, is this for me or her.