To be annoyed with my sister

[Tinytomato2]

Our df died two years ago and it's been me and me dh who have looked after dm all the time. Dsis just uses her for money and child minding. However, this father's day for once, Dsis had dm over, only because her partner and his family invited her. It gave us the opportunity to visit dh's father who we don't get to see much, so all good.

However, I then discover dsis has posted on FB about how she was "looking after" our dear mum when dad's favourite song came on the radio and now she's "feeling totally emotional" blah blah. Cue lots of comments from people saying how good she is looking after mum on father's day and how it shows that her dad is with her today etc etc.

I know I'm probably being irrational but I just feel that she didn't need to share it on FB except she obviously wanted to use dad's death to get attention. I found the comments quite jarring too - I know people don't know the family dynamic but why would dad be with her just because she turned the flippin radio on. He's with us all, all the time. I just feel that genuine bereavement should be a private matter not a means of getting attention on Facebook.

Please be kind!

I think it's normal to feel upset OP, as she doesnt obviously state the whole truth 'looking after my mum on fathers day bc I've ignored her in the year since he passed' wouldn't get the same likes.

You know the truth though and so does your mum, even if your sister chooses not to see it.

Personally I wouldn't say anything as she hasn't really done anything wrong, she can post publically about her grief if she wants

But YANBU to have a rant in private

Thanks, it was the implication by others that she had somehow been singled out by dad for a special message on father's day.

Ughh this would annoy me, her getting all the praise while you have done all the work. But you can't say anything, let her get on with it. Your DM (and DF) know the truth.
It's not real 💐

It would grind my gears, but you have her summed up

She's also grieving, and grief isn't a competition. He was also her father. Her getting a special message or whatever doesn't mean uou cant, and her spending fathers day with your mother doesn't take away from what you do.

As said, it's not a competition, don't make it one.💐

YANBU. Quite often, it's the people who do the least who make the most noise. To be honest, I imagine that the people who actually know her are well aware of what's she's like and will be rolling their eyes.

I didn't mean to make it a competition. I guess it hurt because our cousins were commenting too saying they were thinking of her etc and they seemed to completely forget that she's not the only one grieving. Just because I don't make a public show of it doesn't mean I don't feel it.

YANBU. Obviously there's nothing to be done about it but of course it grates when you quietly put all the effort in to looking after your mum and Dsis spends a day with her and milks it for attention on FB.