Am I being precious to hate it when people say they are going to steal my DD?

[Speckledfroggys]

We have an amazing little toddler DD. She's so lovely and happy and we love her to bits. Family often say "oh we're going to kidnap her" or "we'll take her home and you can take our (pet, goldfish, their DC whatever) instead" and I really hate it!

I always read threads where people are complaining about what their MIL wants to be called to DC or their DM kissing their grandkids or whatever and think it is unreasonable but this one gets me - is it me? We love her to bits and objectively think we're good parents - why do people keep saying it?!

I reckon I'm just being a total precious loon but felt the need to make a thread about it.

Is this for real?

You're making it sound as though these comments are an everyday occurrence, which I doubt.

Maybe just get over it?

Yes, your reaction is absolutely unwarranted.

I say this about my friends kids and we ask each other to swap kids all the time. I can assure you it is totally in jest and only a reflection of how much they adore your baby. You’re being precious OP, try to accept it for what it is.

Yabu and over the top. It's a turn of phrase.

This is common to say among my friends. I've been trying to swipe my best friends daughter for years!

Mumsnet jury has spoken and IABU! I still hate it though 😉 (although I'd never say it)

Nobody can steal her really because she doesn't belong to us or anyone, only herself, but can't bear the idea of being separated from her I suppose. And it is said loads, by both sides of family.

But I do recognise what you are all saying really.

You are being really stupid and come across as a Pratt.

Does it maybe tap into some deep seated fear you have?

No! Police!

They don’t really want your DD; they are trying to be nice and compliment you/her.

You think everyone wants her because you’re her DM. To others, she’s probably an averagely cute toddler.

You need to learn to relax and accept the compliment in the good faith that it's given in.
No one would seriously steal / eat / run away with your child. Honest.

Someone was always going to steal / eat / run away with my kids ( sometimes wish they would have done as they hit their teens )

Going against the Mumsnet jury here but I do understand a little where your coming from. A family member of mine has struggled with fertility unfortunately and I'm often told I should lend her my kids. It's always said in a joking way but to me it's said far too often. Maybe I'm being precious to but it does bother me.

Oh my. People say all kinds of nonsense when it comes to children. I tell people their child is gorgeous even when they're plug ugly. I'd imagine there's similar bending of the truth when people tell you they want to swap your child for a goldfish.

Spoiler: they don't.

No op. I agree. Too many times have people said that and it’s basically like they’re saying dc is too good for you. That they couldn’t possibly have been a product of you. Really annoys me

From the point of view of the child, I was always terrified when people said this stuff. I was very small, cute and quiet when I was young and people would often ask if they could adopt me and I genuinely thought they were going to.

Kids can't distinguish between reality and fantasy at that age. So I do think it's a bit of a crap thing to say.

it’s basically like they’re saying dc is too good for you. That they couldn’t possibly have been a product of you.

Is it tho?

People say this about my DS. He's nearly 5 months and a very happy, contented baby, absolutely full of smiles. He doesn't sleep much, though, so they'd probably bring him back before too long! 😂 I just take it as a compliment. They're not actually going to nick him and it's not a reflection on my parenting, just their way of saying they think he's sweet.

Have a think for a minute about what "loving her to bits" means if you're so upset about the other turn of phrase.

Yes I think you are being a bit precious ( your word) But Ii it annoys you - it just does. No one can say otherwise . But I would take it as a cack handed compliment. It doesn't make you a bad person to get annoyed about stuff. But in the grand scheme of things - this is one I would let go & just enjoy lovely DD. I very much suspect no undertone of she is too good for you - it's a thing people say. Or just give her a little hat with "CCTV operating in this area" embroidered on the front Oh I joke but seriously , I am with other posters to say just take it as a compliment

It just means they rwally love her too. Its purely a joke and they assume as close family members they can say that to you with the understanding you have a fully trusting relationship.

I have a beautiful lovely DD toddler also. Last weekend she stayed overnight with my parents. When we arrived to collect her they said she'd been absolutely fine and no trouble, I said to DH "Quick, let's go" pretending to run for the door adding to my parents " you can keep her then". Its the same thing in reverse. In that situation it should be understood ad nothing more than a joke, its all it's intended to be.

Out of interest, do other things ever worry you or that are said or which happen or is it only this one comment regarding DD?

You really have to try to reframe this in your mind. Its like someone saying to a baby " you're so gorgeous i could eat you" I've heard this often. It doesn't mean they would ever eat the baby.

Bloody hell

I've accepted the mumsnet jury here and agreed IABU but I think some of the replies are a bit much. Don't think I'm stupid or a prat - my word was a bit precious which seems fair!

It's just something that bothers me, I'd never mention it to anyone.

I did choose to start a thread though so I accept I should be open to opinions (although they seem a bit strong given I'm not DOING anything, just feeling a certain way

Also there are no in lease in question here - all close family I love (someone asked if I didn't like the family members anyway)

I say this to my neighbour about her dog all the time. I mean it!!!