I'm sat up crying & TERRIFIED bitter ex is going to take custody of my child. Is this possible?

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I'm up panicked that my bitter ex is going to try and take custody of my child. He mentioned it multiple times during the break up.
Would it be possible for him to do that?
At the moment DC stays there 2 nights a week but he's pushing for 3 which I'm not happy with.

He only had supervised contact for the first year, hasn't paid maintenance for a few months (although hasn't had an income), had became aggressive in my home.
He's been involved with drugs and stuff but I obviously can't prove this!

He's saying I'm irresponsible because I've fell pregnant again in the first couple of months since break up and claims I was unfaithful. I'm a good mum, I work to support my DC, run a home for us by myself, just literally love him a ridiculous amount and have put so much into being a parent since he was born.

I'm sat up in tears because I've got no idea what's going to happen!

Hi OP no it’s very unlikely he will get full custody. Try not to worry. See if you can see a solicitor - some do half an hour free advice.
He’s abusive and this is what they say. Limit contact if you can.
Normal arrangement tend to be every other weekend and one night in the week.
Have you any family that can support you.
There is an organisation rights for women and you could contact women’s aid for advice.

Take a deep breath. Your bitter ex would have to go to court and prove it is in your child's best interests. Courts and those who are asked to assess and report on their behalf have lots of experience in these circumstances. Keep a record and just go on being a good and reasonable parent. Remember you can also place an application with court if your think you need an order for your child's welfare in regards to residency and contact. Good luck.

Courts focus on the best interests of the child, so if he goes down this route he would need to say that 3 rather than 2 nights with him benefits your DC.

They will not listen to complaints or accusations, but will be interested in facts, e.g. if you provide stability on your 5 days and have a routine in place.

If you can't switch off, try listing the things that you provide and do for your DC. If you have emails or messages (dates) where he has let DC down list them. Not lots of stressful paragraphs, just facts.

Highly unlikely. Honestly. He's trying to scare you.

Unless there's a massive drip feed where you're addicted to crack or you've hit your kids, then I don't think you have anything to worry about. The courts aren't interested in a petty slagging match between ex partners, they will see right through the crap and cut straight to the facts and make a decision that is best for the child. If the child spends most of their time with you and you provide a stable and safe home then there would be no benefit to removing the child from that situation.

A hair strand test would prove drug use and can be ordered by the courts if they think it’s an issue that will affect your child.

An aggressive drug user will not be given custody over a stable loving parent who already has custody. If contact had to be supervised at first that sounds like the authorities have assessed him as a risk in the past. The odds really aren’t in his favour on this one. Sounds like he’s pissed off you’re with someone else and is just throwing his weight around. to you. Xxx

It wouldn't MATTER if you were unfaithful OP! There's no judgement for that! Does he think it's 1819 instead of 2019??

You're safe as houses from what you've described.

Hey OP....He sounds like a total knob...my advice is to just ignore him.He is just trying to scare you.sounds to me like he doesn;t know a step of the way in which the courts work...don;t worry,easier said than done i know but he is just spouting off to hurt you.....If it puts your mind at rest a bit get some legal advice yourself and arm yourself with the facts,if you do this you will always be one step infront of him and then you can have a bit of peace,Dry your eyes and carry on doing what you are doing ,,,you will be fine.

The court and custody system is massively bias towards women. Decent man with no history would REALLY struggle to get full custody and practically unheard of .
So don't think you have anything to worry about

Thanks everyone - woke up panicked about it too.
Think I need to start writing down all times he's difficult or anything and go back and get legal advice.
Would it be best to have something in writing to cover me if something does happen?

“The court and custody system is massively bias towards women.“

The court and custody system aims to do what is best for the child. Unless there is a massive backstory you haven’t said, OP, then you don’t have anything to worry about.

But (sorry-but I am old enough to be your mum)please do sort out proper contraception the very second this new baby is born.

No. They are not going to separate a child from its sibling and courts don't give a toss whether you ate unfaithful or not.
However beware of having any relationships during this time. They take a dim view of new relationships and an ongoing divorce. If you are in one keep it quiet and keep the kids any from him.
Just do your best to show you are a good mum.
I know how horrible this is. My first husband tried this and failed. You can get through this.

Yes. Keeping a record is a good idea- if only to remind yourself of what’s going on.

Also if you’re in the UK, it’s a child arrangements order, not custody.

Please try not to worry. Have a look at the Coram website which deals with legal issues around children. Sadly it’s not uncommon for non-resident parents to use this threat to make you feel upset and worried.

Just another option OP ....if you have serious concern about drug use and your childs safety in general with your ex then you could make a request for access to be supervised in a contact center...this will be done with staff there to supervise...if he is just being an arse with you though and good to his child then you could casually drop this into conversation....might make him wise up and be the dad he should be?

Thank you everyone. Still sat at work panicking!! I suffer with anxiety anyway so I think all of this is hitting 10x harder than expected and I just get sudden bouts of fear.

I've got a meeting with a women's charity later to hopefully get some peace of mine and a decent nights sleep.