Secondhand Birthday Presents

[musicinthewoods]

Interested in mumsnet opinions as RL friend think I a BVVVVU.

DD2 is 2 next month and I've seen a play kitchen on FB marketplace that would be perfect for her- it's £30 and retails around £150 brand new.

My friends think it's totally fine to buy secondhand but not for birthdays/Xmas and that I'm tight.

Full disclosure I am the highest earner of my friendship group and they know this (not a stealth boast- we're good friends for a long time and they've seen my career progress!). I could easily afford the £150 but I don't see the point when the £30 is just as good and the brand new one will be exactly the same after a week of play! 🤷🏻‍♀️plus, she's 2 so wouldn't know (my 11 year old would probably leave home over a second hand birthday present 🙄).

So, AIBU?

P.S I will be the poster that continues to think they are not unreasonable even if you all tell me I am 🤫

YANBU. Why pay more when you could pay less?

Yanbu. It’s wasteful to buy new when you don’t need to.

Another here to say buy second hand! We buy most of my 2 year olds toys on fb marketplace and have sold most of them back when shes done! For me buying big new bits of plastic doesn't sit right, and saving money helps

Is you friend strange in other ways too?

Buy second hand. With my first we bought everything new but with our other children just realised how silly it was. A lot of children's things are used for such short periods that it seems almost silly to spend so much if you don't need to. As a birthday present I'd always want to check condition though. We picked up a huge tractor ride on for free but it wouldn't be suitable for a present (great condition but peeling stickers).

For me as much as money, it's about environmental impact. I live in an area where I can think of at least 15 Facebook groups dedicated to selling things second hand, there are always nearly new sales and we even have groups set up to pass things along for free. It's the norm here to buy secondhand and young children aren't going to know. For us, they have lovely things and we have more money for holidays and days out.

Yanbu. I can afford new, but am happier with second hand, especially plastic stuff.

I always bought DS second hand toys and books when he was growing up. Gave him free rein to pick whatever he wanted (he thought). Santa brought the new ones! It was part of teaching him to value the things around him, the make do and mend mentality. He started taping books back together, moved onto customising game controllers, and now repairs his own car and motorbike and does odd jobs round the house. He's a pretty cool guy.

Unnecessarily polluting the planet your child needs to survive "just because" is the unreasonable decision. Wherever possible I buy toys second hand although we are high earners, because it is the right thing to do environmentally.

YANBU. I bought second hand presents for my DC before, some of which i have resold again! My Dsis bought me a 2nd hand watch for my birthday once, i was fine with it as it was something i wanted.

My older children know they get some stuff secondhand - I explain it means they could get other bits as well as the main present and they are happy with it. One of the best bits was. Barbie camper van. Current mode retailing about £70 - picked up an older one for £4 at a carboot. Still played with 5/6 years later!

It's 'nicer'to buy new but honestly if it's good condition I'd probably get it too as that's a huge price difference and she won't know difference

Definitely! Great for the environment, she won't know and you save money for something else! All win!

Buy secondhand, my boys have lots of secondhand toys and we have yet to buy a book new. 4 children’s books for a £1 in my local charity shop at the moment.

Because you do have the money though, I would be tempted to put some money in her savings account for her birthday. That’s just me though.

Yanbu op. It makes the most sense to buy it secondhand. Why waste money when theres a perfectly good one available.

Got for it.

I'm currently debating can I get away with gifting what was DD1s balance bike to DD2 for 3rd birthday.
My house is at capacity for stuff and I'm loathed to buy something else for DD2 to outgrow in a couple of years.

We bought a second hand kitchen for DD for Christmas including all the bits and pieces - she loves it. So no, I don’t think you’re being tight at all.

We bought our kids some second hand toys where it didn't really matter. Good idea and save the 120 for something more useful

Absolutely not unreasonable, actually an extremely sensible approach.
We do similar. Once I know what I'm getting DS 7 and DD 2 for Christmas and birthday I always look to see if I can get it second hand. Last Christmas I saved a fortune on an massive Imaginext power rangers play set. It was £80 brand new but I bought it (with a load of extras) for £30. It was in immaculate condition and DS was delighted (as was I!!).
I'm always on the lookout for second hand items to hide away for gifts.

YANBU. Much better for the environment and a 2 year old will be excited for their new kitchen and won't care whether it's second hand or not. I often bought DC second hand stuff for Christmas and Birthdays they never cared.

I'm not sure if I'd be brave enough to buy second hand for someone else's child (I once saw a gift second hand that would be perfect for Dfriend's son but though she might be offended so bought a little brand new gift to go with it too - she was fine with it and was touched because it was something personal and just right for him rather than the first thing off the shelf at the toy shop).

Buy it. Friend is being ridiculous.

@nokidshere For my second child's first 2 Christmas's and birthdays I just wrapped something his brother had grown out of.

This is genius!!! Why haven't I thought of this.

Kids literally don't care op. I think it's just some grown ups that do.

I'm not sure if I'd be brave enough to buy second hand for someone else's child

I'm certainly not brave enough to do that! But then I wouldn't be buying other people's children massively expensive toys new or second hand. For other people's kids i tend to work to a budget regardless if i buy in sales or not.

I wouldn’t even hesitate in buying it!

YANBU.

Second hand is AMAZING. I am a massive fan and we've bought similar for our kids.

My 10 year old got gerbils for his birthday. They weren't second hand (obviously) but I picked up a massive all-singing, all-dancing gerbilarium tank thing with a crate of toys and other bits and pieces for £30 on Gumtree. We're not short of cash and could have spend the £150 on a new one if we wanted to.

But it's all about not contributing tot he mountains of "stuff" which is drowning the planet.