Father suggested I had given him raffle prize!

[Rtruth]

AIBU to be offended by my father suggesting to other members of my family that for fathers day I gave him a raffle prize I won at event we had taken my DC to a few months ago?

Back story, I bought a rather expensive bottle of spirit (of which my father constantly mentions he enjoys with BIL) for Father’s Day along with sarcastic card (per my sense of humour).

On opening, I received a minor thank you but as kids were about I thought nothing of it.

Later in day I get text from another family member asking if it was bottle I won at fair! Now that was cheap plastic bottle of different spirit which we discussed at length on winning it. I hadn’t tried it but other family member had use for it and suggested if it wasn’t to my liking to give to them.

So I call to ask 1 why they would think that? 2 how they would know what that bottle looked like as they weren’t there? (At this point logically there was only one answer to both).

I call parents, who laugh it off as mistake and I get sarcastic and insincere apology.

Now what’s next move? I’m still annoyed to be thought of as cheap but know based on experience that despite not dealing with issue this will be deemed closed and I’ll be expected to act like nothing is wrong.

I’d consider it closed and continue as if nothing is wrong tbh - it’s not something I’d lose any sleep over.
They thought maybe you’d passed on a raffle prize (which would be fine if you had), they asked, you answered, they believed you....what’s the issue?

Next time don't get him anything.

Surely you just say 'No, I got him a bottle of whatever it was'

Apologies, wasn’t clear.

They didn’t ask me. My brother did, who was being told that’s what I had done. This convo could have been with whole family as at that point I was at home.

Wasn’t clear on that part.

But still - so what? They thought you’d passed on a raffle gift. I’ve done that before, why not pass it on to somebody who would enjoy it, I certainly wouldn’t be offended if somebody thought I had. What are you upset about?

You have every right to be pissed off, OP. Even if your Father suspected you'd done this (not that he had any reason to by the sound of it) he shouldn't have been gossiping to other family members about it. I wouldn't bring it up again though. You know you got him a lovely, thoughtful gift and he doesn't appreciate that then that's a shame but your conscience is clear. Next time don't get him anything.

@TinselTimes op would be upset because her parents are talking about her to other family members in a negative way behind her back ... if they didn’t care they wouldn’t have said anything either .

That’s my take anyhow

I would send your dad the receipt, and then forget about it.

It wouldn’t even register with me as “negative gossiping” - is the OP sure her family would be negative about her passing on a raffle gift? Mine wouldn’t care, so it might be commented on in passing but certainly wouldn’t be an issue.

@TinselTimes been trying to think of some way to explain that doesn’t sound offensive but really can’t.
I guess it’s just different ways of how you rate your reputation. I wouldn’t want that tarnished by someone suggesting I had fobbed off £1 prize that was heading for the bin as the sole gift to them.

Whats this vote thing??

Ok.....it wouldn’t bother me or anybody else I know to pass on a raffle gift. I think it’s weird and wasteful tbh that you’d prefer people to think you would throw something away then buy new.

So I still don’t get what you’re offended about really, but obv you know your family and I don’t - do you think they would be critical of you passing on a raffle gift? But even so they’ve asked, you answered, they believed you....surely the matter is closed? Do you want them to email every family matter saying they got it wrong?

Yanbu and yes it’s negative as the implication is you are cheap and to an extent dishonest if you aren’t a regifting sort of family

Even if you had won it, its still the same value of present though isn't it. If you won the lottery and bunged them £20k they wouldn't be moaning you didn't earn it yourself.

@TinselTimes I think you’re being deliberately obtuse. It wouldn’t bother me to pass on a raffle prize if I thought someone might like it, it wouldn’t bother a lot of people I know to have a raffle prize passed on to them, it may well not bother the OP to pass on raffle prizes or to receive them either if they’re useful or would be appreciated. But the problem is that her dad obviously thinks passing on raffle prizes is not ok and has been going on about it to someone behind her back and making out like she’s done it out of badness. He has completely ignored the fact that it was a bottle of something which he definitely likes and would enjoy in preference to gossiping about how it was a raffle prize. He could have just asked her face to face, he could have just graciously accepted the gift (which, might I remind you, he bloody well likes and has indicated this previously regardless of whether or not the bloody bottle was a prize that the OP won!!) and said no more about it. But he did neither of these things and decided to start whinging to her brother about how she had clearly just given him some cast off prize that she was chucking out.

Yes I’d be pissed off. Pissed off that he felt the need to Twitter on to someone else behind my back instead of asking me face to face and also pissed off that he couldn’t get past his hatred of raffle prizes to see that you’d given him a bottle of drink that he has specifically mentioned liking. It doesn’t matter where the bloody bottle came from, if he likes it (which apparently he does) then why can’t he just enjoy it instead of wittering on that it might have been a raffle prize?!

Either you have a sarcastic sense of humour or you don't? It's OK for you to give a sarky card but not for people to make such comments to you?

Yes it's annoying. I would be tempted to screenshot receipt and just leave it at that. I'd probably send a text saying I don't recycle raffle presents and I'm upset you thought so. Your brother sounds a shit stirrer.

@BasilFaulty
New function that allows a user to know the verdict.

Might be coincidental but seems to have brought out the thread police today, with many commenting that they can’t see the problem and/or why are people posting this.

Take the raffle prize round to your Dad and offer to swap it for your lovely thoughtful gift.

Yeah, I would pop round..

"Oh I am SO sorry Dear Father, I hadn't realised you would prefer this cheap plastic bottle of whatever, here you go swap"

:D

I'd make a light hearted/sarky joke next time I saw him, or do as was suggested post receipt or take the cheapo bottle round to swap! Beyond a bit of cheek back I'd move on (I like to think)

Wow. 22 posts but 338 votes. I'm surprised at such a big reader:poster ratio.

YANBU, BTW