To feel like a live in a fish bowl

[urghurghurgh]

Sssooo...
In brief we have lived on our road for about 5 years.
I am absolutely sick of the gossip and feeling like everyone knows everything about me.
I feel like I can’t breathe without someone knowing about it.
We got a new car, and within 5 minutes a friend text saying “oh so and so on your road said you’ve got a new car”
We got a new front door. The same afternoon on the school run 2 people commented on my new front door. I know they were probably just making polite small talk, but still.
We got new shutters and people kept asking about them.
We had to call an ambulance for our LO once at 1am and the next day people were messaging me on Facebook asking what was going on.
Even mundane shit like “oh your ASDA delivery came early this morning” or “I saw the furniture village delivery van outside yours today”
Anyway, we’ve decided to move. Somewhere a bit more rural!
House has been on the market for 24 hours. We requested no for sale sign, so people wouldn’t gossip upon seeing that.
I’ve had 3 family members call and text me saying they’ve noticed we are selling and asking why.
Seriously, what is wrong with these people?
I just want to live my life in peace! Preferably on a desert island!
Anyway, rant over. Just hoping we can find a house in the middle of nowhere with no neighbours for miles around.
Either that or surrounded by 10 foot fences!

LOL, I feel your pain! I used to live opposite the primary school, and was very involved in our primary school. Everything was commented upon and critiqued. New curtains. New paint job. Garden not weeded. Garden weeded. Me doing the lawns. Us getting someone into do the lawns. The fence we were building. New car. The gossip chain lit up like a Christmas tree when the ambulance got called for me. . . . my poor kids!

Maybe that’s the problem. We live too close to the school! It’s convenient for school runs but I cannot bare the fish bowl lifestyle!
But yes, cannot wait to move.

On the other hand, nosey neighbours tend to stop burglaries, spot when post is hanging out of the box for a couple of sayd, feed the cat when you are in hospital.

I dont understand why you arent more selective with your FB account, but each to their own.

I am selective with my Facebook account. Nothing was posted about the ambulance being called and I’m not even friends with these people on Facebook. They found me and messaged me asking about the ambulance!

Having lived in cities big and small, as well as both remote rural and township rural I’ve noticed this.

The most privacy I’ve had has been in the most populated places, not the least. I mean, obviously if you find a lighthouse or a cottage deep in the woodland, you can probably except to keep your business to yourself. But otherwise city folk just get around by facing straight ahead, heads down. Neighbours have been basically polite, and would help if ask directly, but not nosey at all.

You need a certain ‘village’ population for that I think.

Hhhmmm yes. Perhaps we are prime location and town size for the constant gossip!
We are on a fairly busy main road near the school, so i thought it would be a bit more private not being a small close or a cul de sac. But I suppose the more footfall going past the more people will comment.

We have this with two women in our road one lives opposite and the other next door but one
Nosey sods the pair of em
Turns out my dp’s mates girlfriend knows the one opposite and had been quizzing her about us-something to do with if we where ‘right for the street’

I told this mate to tell the nosey cow that we where swingers and she was more than welcome to come join in if she wanted

It caused uproar but she’s backed off and avoids us now

It was childish but got what I wanted

@Rainbowknickers I would love to do that!
But I’m not sure my kids would be so keen!!!

Sorry, but I had to laugh. 😀
I think more rural would be worse, that's where the people have really nothing to do than talk about what next door are doing.

Agree with Skittlesandbeer, move to an inner city tower bock and you become instantly invisible

If you want anonymity move to the city not the country

No one knows you in the city, and they don't want to either

I feel your pain! I lived in a village and kept myself to myself mainly because I was so bloody busy all the time with work etc. Went to new neighbours bbq and was informed that apparently because I drove a naice car and was never on door step gossiping I was viewed as a snob! But now they’ve spoken to me realise I’m a nice person! They then proceeded to discuss in detail my DD BF and how they couldn’t understand how I’d allow her to go out with a boy from a “rough” family etc. That was when i decided to go back to keeping myself to myself!

Now live in a much larger village and have neighbours who are friendly but seem much less nosy, except for one person who said they could see our TV on in lounge very early morning and why was that!? I was a bit WTF?

Don’t know what the answer is except to live in a field! I like to be friendly but it isn’t so annoying to feel like your being watched all the time

My favourite thing about living in London is the complete and utter anonymonity. I lived in a smaller town for years and also got sick of everyone's comments - even the staff in supermarkets commenting on what I was buying.

I feel like I can breathe in London. Everyone lets each other be. It's ironically blissfully peaceful

I don’t think it helps that I’ve lived here for 30 years either!
It gives me the rage people knowing everything about me! No word of a lie, I once got asked why I was throwing a bench away at the tip the day after I had chucked it! They obviously saw me, made a note of what I was binning and made a point of asking me about it!

Definitely move to a city and not more rural! My “that’s it, we are moving!” Moment was when I received a text from my neighbour at 10:30pm to say she had just noticed me brushing my teeth before bed but I had left the bathroom light on and she didn’t want me to get a big electricity bill.....

I'm in a village in a tiny cul de sac just down the road from the DCs school. Been here 10 years. This was happening to me too; then I had an enormous fence built around my (corner) plot with a locked gate, which sent everyone's tongues wagging (and complaints to the council) and made sure I looked straight ahead when out and about. I know there was gossip when DH moved out but none was directed to me because they all think I'm a stuck up, antisocial cow. Which sounds little introverted me just fine :)

I'd hate that. My previous home was situated in such a place, people I'd never even spoken to knew things about me when I didn't even know their names! When I wasn't working for a while after having a baby, it was worse. It got so that I didn't want to go out in daylight and, if I had to, I'd have a look up and down the street first to make sure there was no-one about.

What joy when we moved to where we are now, many years ago. Apart from those who live either side, I know no-one in the road. I also know that if I go out I will be unmolested. Peace and bliss.

I hate this kind of thing...We used to live in a military house in a neighbourhood of military families. I felt like everything we did was being scrutinised. We ended up putting huge reeds on top of our garden fence as we couldn't sit in the garden without people stopping for a 'chat' . Nightmare!
I went into labour and left to go to hospital at 3am and someone was obviously curtain twitching as it was all up on the Facebook group the next day.
And obviously as all those in the military worked on the same base we just couldn't get away from each other...so glad we moved.

I actually couldn’t bear it either. Move! Far away as possible. You have done well to last as long as you have without shouting at anyone

Just hope that someone else wants to buy my fish tank of a house!!!
In all fairness I know a lot about the neighbours too, like the family over the road adopting a baby, and the police being called weekly to the young lady down the roads house.
But the difference is that I wouldn’t dream of asking them directly about it and intruding, and I wouldn’t ever gossip about them to other people.
I’m sure they probably all gossip about each other though to be fair!!!

I would have lost my shit at these nosey fuckers years ago!

I’ve had 3 family members call and text me saying they’ve noticed we are selling and asking why. Seriously, what is wrong with these people?
Why didn't you ask them?
I'd be like "how did you find out we're selling? why are you keeping tabs on us? Your behavior is seriously creepy and stalkerish"

I've had comments like that in the past, nowadays i just do the Grey Rock technique of giving a one word answer and then changing the subject - or asking them bluntly why they're so interested in the details of my life when they persist.

I did ask. One of them found it in the estate agents window within minutes of it being put up, then messaged another family member, who then phoned the third family member.
I actually lost my shit slightly and asked them why people were so nosey.
Im in the wrong for moaning as the house particulars are in view of the public in an estate agents window so there for anyone to see apparently.

they may well be in public view.....but it's a HUGE 'coincidence' that your family just 'happened' to see it within minutes of it going up...

It wouldn't surprise me if they have 'insiders' give them updates on people they're keeping tabs on.
I've seen it happen in small town/villages and in certain cultural lifestyles.

Yeah, probably someone in the estate agents, but they’d get them into trouble if they’d been gossiping about the houses on their books.
Drives me mad!

Don't go 'rural' for more privacy!
When I still lived with my parents, we lived a couple of miles outside a small town on a cul-de-sac, about 20 houses. Way before mobile phones - think we actually still had a shared phone line (remember those anyone?)

I remember DM & DP one evening discussing and agreeing about moving into the town. Suited me at 16 to be nearer 'the action'. Meet a friend at bus stop next morning. She lived in about 1/2 mile from us and she said 'So when are you moving house?'

I agree with others - move to a large city for more privacy!