To find my newly found self confidence slipping away (weight loss thread!)

[Hiphopopotamus]

So over the past 3 years I have absolutely piled on weight - I had a complete mental health breakdown and put on four stone in the process. I was slightly overweight to begin with so this four stone made me look and feel properly obese (I’ve got photographic proof!)

At the beginning of this year I decided enough was enough and I made the decision to seriously lose weight. I’ve cut down on carbs (my nemesis!), completely cut out sugar and have been calorie counting strictly. I’m eating heaps of veg and salad, my diet feels very nutritious and nourishing and I’ve lost 2 and a half stone so far.

Obviously 2 1/2 stone is great and I’ve been feeling better and more confident and have been starting to feel good about myself, getting back into clothes that I haven’t worn for ages.

However - over the weekend, I met up with an old friend. We live a long way away from each other and although we are close, we actually haven’t seen each other in about 3 and a half years (so before I piled on the weight)

While we met up she noticed I wasn’t eating all the food I usually would, and asked if I was dieting. I said yes, and said that I was bigger than I would like to be. She said that she wouldn’t have said anything, but as I brought it up, she had noticed. I explained how much weight I had put on and my progress, and she was lovely, very supportive and positive about what I’d achieved so far.

However I can’t stop thinking that from her perspective, I look like I’ve just got fatter. It’s completely flipped everything around in my head, and I’m feeling as though I’ve put on weight and not lost it at all. I’m just feeling huge and demotivated all over again.

I’m genuinely not sure how to switch my head back - I know this is completely my issue. Just to reiterate, my friend was so lovely and supportive - this is not her fault at all. But I’m just feeling so crap about myself now and I’m not sure how to stop the feelings.

You have done brilliantly. You KNOW that you have worked hard and lost weight . It’s not about what others think....

Aaah, I've experienced similar.

I assume, as you've lost a lot of weight already, that you have some lovely outfits that make you feel pretty good? go put one on. Stand in front of the mirror and do a few twirls. Really look and see how good you look. If necessary, take a look at a "fat" picture for comparison.

You just need to remind yourself of where you WERE. Your friend didn't see that so you're currently looking at yourself through HER eyes. You just need to remind yourself of your own progress and success.

And well done on the weight loss!

OP you've done an amazing job, please don't start to beat yourself up now!

Look how far you've come. Look at all those positive changes you've made, and I bet the next time you meet up with your friend you'll be feeling even healthier 😉

Keep going. It's so hard to keep going and so easy to get discouraged, but it's so worth it. I promise.

You sound like a lovely person and you deserve to be happier with yourself. Start now, don't wait to feel good 'when the weight is gone' - start feeling confident NOW!

Congrats on your weight loss!

Think the thoughts, but challenge the thoughts, and don’t accept them as gospel! Those thoughts won’t help you.

Keep going.

Be careful not to restrict food / have “rules” TOO much, as that can be hard to sustain lead to risk of overeating.

You're doing brilliantly and the meeting with your friend doesn't change change what you've achieved. You said you met up with her at the weekend? It's only Tuesday, hopefully very soon your thoughts will have flipped back to their positive perspective very soon.

Two and a half stone is a great loss, and I admire your willpower! Keep on doing just what you have been doing since the beginning of the year, it'll be good for you mentally and physically.

Two and a half stone is brilliant! Can you try and use this 'set back' in your head as motivation to keep going and lose the rest of the weight? Think how amazing you'll look and feel when it's all off and you see your friend again?

Thanks for the comments - my logical head knows I’m doing well. I just don’t feel it now! It’s just making it hard to stay on track this week - part of my brain is saying that even after all this work I’m still fat so why bother. (And yes - I know that’s stupid!)

Well I’ve had a ‘fuck it’ binge today and eaten far more than normal. And I’m now angry at myself for self sabotaging! Anyone who dismisses the mental and emotional side of losing weight is an idiot - it’s 90% a game of the mind!

There are some good podcasts on binge eating. Tomorrow is a new day.

OP a few of us on here have a weight loss what’s app support group. Not sure if it’s your thing but you’re welcome to join in if u want.

Pm me and I’ll send u the link if u fancy it. Lovely group of ladies!

Wow you star, you are doing amazingly! You know what you are doing works, it’s hard but you’ll have to be patient, if it was someone that saw you all the time they’d definitely notice

So you've self sabotaged.

It's one day. Tomorrow is a whole new day, start again. It won't have made the huge difference you think.

I totally get how you feel. I'm almost the biggest I've ever been. But I'm meeting people who have either never met me in person before, or who haven't seen me since I was a normal weight. And to them, they are either just seeing this fat undisciplined blob, or this fat undisciplined blob which used to be normal-weight-Anarchyshake.

This week I have worn make up twice, put some goo in my hair and worn some clothes which make me feel nice. It's helped.

Also if you dropped your phone you wouldn’t stamp on it because it was already cracked, one lapse is just that just start again from now

You binged? So write off that but start again NOW. Don’t consider it a diet, it’s a lifestyle change. Get photos so you can track your progress. Put the worst, fattest photo on the fridge and the cupboard. Most of all, remind yourself how far you have come and how well you’ve done.