AIBU to feel so worried about this?

[lilabet2]

My Mum has an appointment at the Breast Clinic today. She didn't tell me because she didn't want to worry me and I've only just been told now as she left (I'm living with my parents). I am a bit shocked but this also makes sense as she had a (suspected inflammatory bc) cancer scare two years ago and I just went to pieces during the two-week wait.

I had to visit the breast clinic myself last year and I know that nine out of ten visits don't result in a breast cancer diagnosis but she's 61, has been very tired recently, has swollen lymph nodes and breast pain.

My Mum is an amazing person and I've been worried about her for a while.

I know this isn't all about me and I'm sure it helped my Mum not to tell me until appointment day today (it was probably the right decision) but I really don't know how I'll cope if she does have cancer.

I know I need to just be there for my Mum but with the way my life is at the moment (literally everything has gone to pieces in the last few years- I am friendless, not in a relationship, childless, jobless and ill), I don't know how to cope if it is IBC.

AIBU to worry about this?

Of course you are going to worry, and there is no point forcing yourself not to. But try to rationalise the worry as best you can. She hasn’t being diagnosed with anything; she may not ever be diagnosed. Going to the clinic is healthy and you should be more worried if she didn’t and was avoiding it! Survival rates are high if something did happen. The best thing you can probably do for your mum right now is stay strong for her.

And sending for everything else going on for you. That sounds like a really tough few years. Go easy on yourself.

Of course you will worry, its an anxious time for you.

Just try to be as positive as you can xxx

YANBU to worry about this but, at the same time, there is no point in ruminating on 'what ifs'. Just be there to support your mum and try not to become overly anxious until you know one way or another. IME test results are usually quite quick.

If it does turn out to be IBC then your mum will need you to be strong for her. It would be very hard on her if she has to worry about you too and it could end up with her not sharing information with you when she needs to offload.

If it would help you, perhaps sign up to www.breastcancercare.org UK and/or www.macmillan.org.uk/Breast-Cancer/Community and seek advice and information on their forums. They are for family and friends as well as people experiencing cancer. They are really helpful.

I hope things turn out okay OP.

Of course you're not being unreasonable to worry. But you do need to stop 'going to pieces' at just the thought of things.

If she gets a bad diagnosis (and of course I hope not), she will need your support, not having to support you.

Being diagnosed with cancer is not a death sentence. It's scary and shit and all kinds of horrible things, but people can and do recover.

Are there practical steps you can take to make friends, increase your social circle and get a job? It might help to stop you worrying about negative 'what ifs'.

I hope all goes well for your Mum.

Thanks for much for the support. Hopefully it will be ok but if not I'll try to keep it together and make things easier for her.