My relationship of several years recently ended. I'm reflecting on some of the issues we had and realising they were mostly his issues and not mine but one of the things he would often hold us as an issue of mine was compromise. He insisted that I didn't get compromise and that caused us problems.
One issue was where I live. I bought my home with my DCs dad, who still owns part of it (which will be realised when the DC leave home and house is sold).
Because of this my partner said he couldn't live there.
Houses here are very expensive. My house needs work so I couldn't rent it out in its current state (in order to rent somewhere else). Without renting my house out I'd struggle to find more than £600-800 for rent and houses a similar size to mine are £2k or more to rent. So I couldn't afford to rent somewhere else unless it was much smaller and I think that is unfair on my DC especially as they've lived in this house all their lives and will be leaving home in 3-5 years probably any way.
He said this was me not compromising. But if the only compromise is a smaller house that'll cost me extra money every month I don't really feel that is a realistic compromise. AIBU?
Another instance was time together. He moved 4 hours away a few months ago (previously lived locally) and since then I have spent about 1 weekend a month 'away' at his new home. 2 of the other 3 weekends he used to stay at mine. In the week he works an hour away. He thought I should drive down after work to meet him and the fact I didn't in 6 months was again my failure to compromise (instead some weeks but not all he would travel up 1 evening to see me. When he lived locally we saw each other almost every evening).
Is this really me not compromising or is it just him putting an unfair slant on things?