WIBU young child hitting and swearing at parent?

[ExhaustedGrinch]

More of a what would you have done but was I being unreasonable to say nothing in this situation?

Feeding the birds with my DS (8) when a boy and his mum walk past (I assume mum as I've seen her collect him at school). We hear the child before we see him, shouting and yelling. As they get nearer this child (my son says he's in year 3 but he looked older) is shouting at his mum calling her a bitch and a bastard, he then proceeds to hit her hard in the stomach! Poor mum looked embarrassed and quite frankly worn down, she said he'd have no gadgets that night but he continued as they walked on and we could hear the shouting going on for quite some time.

I felt heartbroken for her. Obviously I have no idea if there are SEN issues but was I unreasonable to not say something - words of support for mum? I'm thinking not because it could have escalated things or made mum feel shit? Yet I couldn't help feel awful for her and like I should have done something, especially as he hit her. What would you have done in this situation?

My DD1 (10) can lash out at me; she’s hit and kicked me, and stamped on my feet. Mostly she just throws things; last week she accidentally hit DD2 (7) on the nose with a packet of spaghetti.

She’s not ruined, she has adoption related attachment issues and other SN and that leads to her having violent meltdowns.

My feeling is that you were right not to intervene. I remember that a TA intervened when DD1 hit me back when she was only 6. I was in fact handling it the best way I could and I didn’t really appreciate the intervention. (I would have appreciated it if she’d approached me in the playground at another time about it, as she was a TA that DD1 was attached to, but in your case, that wouldn’t be appropriate either.)

Please don’t judge the boy. You have no idea what the reasons are for his behaviour. I’d be devastated if anyone judged DD1 as being ‘ruined’ because they don’t understand the reasons for her behaviour.

Starzig, The difference is as adults we have the choice to change job or not associate with people who make us feel bad or even the choice of just getting up and leaving a room for 5 mins to calm ourself.

THIS.

As an adult, my dd doesn't have to spend her time with people in authority who tell her to her face that they don't believe in her disability. She doesn't have to take a job or enter a training programme which she is unable to cope with physically or mentally. If she falls ill, she can be signed off without the fear that her family will be threatened with fines or prison.

School kept telling her she wouldn't be able to cope as an adult- that is why she tried to kill herself.

But she is coping fine. Life is 10000 x better.

For us, a "quiet word with the school" would have made life far, far worse. As dd's medical team wrote in her final discharge note, she came through thanks to the support of her parents. But it didn't happen overnight- and it could have happened a lot quicker if the school had not stuck their oar in and refused to listen to the experts.

My cousin used to beat his mum from 14 because his dad did and at some level thought it was right (mostly because his dad gave him money and nice cars and every fucking thing he could to buy his love). No SEN. No MH issues. Just a grade A cunt who then went on to beat his own wife.