School events

[glasshalf]

How does everyone who works manage the kids school events especially at this time of year?! Sports day has been organised on one of 4 days at our school depending on weather - i can't possibly book them all just in case! They have assemblies , open afternoons , end of term parties all of which parents are invited to and I feel such awful guilt for not going to each event for both DC who are there but I can't possibly ask work for a load of time off! AIBU to feel so sh*t for not being able to go :( part of me feels like a snowflake parent and the other is like well life sucks sometimes so it's tough!!

Yeah I feel guilty for not being able to do them all, but what can you do? We make sure that someone is there for the DC school events - me, DH, MIL or even one of the other parents who will cheer our child on/take the pictures. I try to prioritise the most important stuff and anything else I can get to is a bonus.

It’s hard and I sympathise. Our school has some events outside school/office hours which is great. Many events are in school hours tho, and the same parents are always present, because they don’t work. The rest of us are sometimes there, sometimes not. I do worry how my kids will feel about us not always being there, but I am just honest about it. Mummy would love to be there, but has to go to work and grown ups can’t always get time off work. They seem to understand.

I ask what the dc would most like me to be there for and try to get that, plus as many others as I can. DH does the same and for any gaps we see if the local set grandparents would like and be free to go.

It’s hard but you won’t be the only one.

I know it's always a pinch point this time of year. I make sure I can go to one thing per dc. Any extra is a bonus. Dh is teacher so it's always a no from him. This summer I'm managing a sports day for dc1 and an assembly for dc2. They've seemed ok with it.

I think it’s a bit ridiculous that parents attend (with the exception of parents of exceptional children). It’s a bit absurd for adults to want to disrupt their day to watch a bunch of children running around and it’s absurd for children to expect their parents to do so.

It's really hard op. I'm a single parent and my parents live abroad so no back up at all.

@BogglesGoggles you got kids ? I can't imagine how my DC feel to see everyone else's parents cheering them on and their parents are not there!

I try and spread the load between myself DH and if neither of us can sometimes DGM or Aunt can make it instead.

Everyone else- I know I'm not alone and this thread demonstrates that it's just hard work balancing everything eh!

@glasshalf yes, my five years old had a go at me for not attending his assembly the other day. I explained to him (gently obviously) that I have a life to get on with, it’s important for them to realise the world doesn’t revolve around them and to develop a bit of emotional dependence. My parents were the same with me and its served me very well.

*emotional independence.

Obviously if he did something noteworthy I would have arranged to go but that wasn’t the case here.

@BogglesGoggles yes I totally get what you're saying I just feel they are only in primary for such a short time I should try and go to all but it's becoming harder as time goes on with work pressure and the guilt is awful!

I have a 13 year old and I hardly went to anything in school hours, only when I was already free, I never took time off. Many parents didn't attend as they were working and needed to save their holiday for the school holidays, it was more the SAHPs or those working part time who attended. I went to all the evening performances, parents' evening and so on.

It's a nightmare filled with guilt. Our school added grandparent day so my mil drove 4 hours to go to school for 1 hour 30 mins then drove 4 hours home
Mil drives me nuts but she loves dd!

I used to miss everything. But Ive started booking time off for a few things each year and the exchange is the kids go to holiday club for equivalent number of days in school holidays over the year

Never went to a sports day - as it’s in school hours. Grandparents also lived too far away. I never thought anything about it. School didn’t want parents turning up, though, because of lack of space. There was only a small yard, no playing fields.

I work in a school just not the one my kids go to.

I manage to get to their sports day as then I am there for the both of them, grandparents go to Christmas concerts and my husband goes to class assemblies, anything on a Thursday my friend cheers them on as she to has kids in the same class as mine and it's her day off.

My kids do know they are lucky and have never complained about me not being there as we make a big thing about who is.

Plus we get the holidays together, it does not stop me feeling guilty though we just make do with what works in the here and now.

Believe me, not every child has their parents at every event.

I'm really struggling at the moment with this. DC are at different schools (one SEN) and they are both bombarding me with stuff right now! We have absolutely no childcare available so anything out of school hours means we either miss it (if DH can't get out of work early) or only one of us goes (if he can). Last week one DC had Sports Day, Parents Evening, recital practice (late pick up), and a powerpoint presentation. This week the other child has Sports Day and Parents Evening. There is also a 'come and meet your DC's new teacher' at one school, too. I feel like I'm drowning under a sea of emails and flyers.

Do their friends' parents often attend? For the events I could make it to, whoever was there would chat to and cheer on their child's friends as well, so children were not really alone with no one there for them.

Most parents go, it's a huge school and it's really busy . Parents are really actively involved however majority work so no idea how they do it!

By the end of July i will have used half of my annual leave on school events and medical appointments.

When I run out my dh will start using his.

Thankfully we're too poor to go on an actual holiday anyway so we don't have to save any for that

@3boysandabump with school holidays it's hard enough anyway isn't it without using it on extra stuff like school events!

I do my best with work, as does dp, and otherwise I beg family members to go. On one occasion I paid our childminder to go. When I've been really stuck I've let the dc know that another parent will be watching them alongside their own dc (obviously I've arranged with the parent for them to wave and take pics).

3/4 of parents don't attend, in fact schools like the ones mine attended wouldn't be able to cope if every kid brought a parent space wise. It's not just being in office hours as parents work shifts, weekends etc. several military families as well who dad's live on base 200 miles away (mums decided to stay in their community where they have support and found each other too)