Wedding gifts

[MTBMummy]

Posting here for traffic.

DP and I tie the knot next year after 18 years of being together, and we're having a gathering for friends and family to thank them for their support and sticking by us through the various rough patches we've had in that time (nothing either of us has brought on, just general crap life throws at you) Anyway, we've been together for so long, we don't need anything, nor do we want anything, other than our friends joining us for a day to eat food drink some wine and have a bit of fun.

Whats the best way to word this in invites, this isn't some under handed ploy for money instead, we really just want them to be there, no strings attached.

"We'd love you to be there to celebrate with us. No strings attached, no gifts or money, just bring your dancing shoes"

It's a tricky thing, because people do like to give a wedding gift, and usually they would rather give something that you would like or would enjoy.

My husband and I had been together 6 years when we married, and had already bought a home together. We didn't need the usual stuff, so we put a carefully worded note in the invitation, saying it was the guests' company we really wanted, but that if people did want to give us a gift we would appreciate spending money for our honeymoon on San Francisco. It was actually lovely because lots of people gave us a suggestion of what to do with it, eg hire a car and go to x, or buy a couple of such and such beers, trip to the exploratorium etc. A few older guests still gave traditional gifts or vouchers which was nice too.

You could suggest something you would like to save for, but if you really don't want to inadvertently ask for money, what about suggesting people buy something in your honour, eg sponsor a child, buy a family a goat type certificates.

But if you really don't want people to spend, just say so. You may still end up with a M&S voucher or 2 though!

I will always want to give something, so I'd far rather know what the couple want. If you don't want anything, choose a charity you'd like people to donate to.

Maybe ask if they donate to a charity of their choice? Or choose a charity yourself?

Interesting post actually. My friend is getting married very soon. Her and her fiance have been together for 10 years, live together, have kids and say they don’t need anything but didn’t write anything on the invites? What do I buy?? thought about a keep sake but if everyone did this they will be over run by gifts!

I'd say something like "No presents please, just your presence." or "Please bring only your company and your appetite."
If you're more casual then "Please bring only your best craic and your appetite."

or simply "Please, no gifts"

We didn’t put anything on the invite as we didn’t really need anything after 15 years together. I knew people like to give something regardless though, so left it up to them to choose.
It was quite funny I thought as a lot of people I didn’t think would get us gifts did kindly give us a card and/or gift, and a few people I thought might, like the groom’s sibling and best friend, didn’t 😊

I would stress that you really don't need gifts and genuinely only want them to attend, but add a caveat that if people feel they would like to bring a gift instead to make a donation to x charity, or to bring food for the food bank maybe. Alternatively suggest John Lewis vouchers maybe

Judging by the number of threads on MN asking what gift to give when the invite specifically says "no gifts" I would imagine you will be inundated with cash, bottles of champagne and picture frames

Thank you so much everyone, we have a charity that is close to our hearts (they looked after my mum in her last days) so I'll say no gifts please, but if you feel the need to make a donation in our name to XYZ hospice.

I love the "No presents please, just your presence." I'm definitely going to steal that

Thank you all

If I was asked to a wedding/anniversary I would take the couple a gift, whether they wanted it or not.

I would just hate to be asked to give to charity. That's for funerals.

What kind of gathering will it be? Depending on the format you could ask them to bring something to drink instead of a present.

One of the loveliest, most relaxed wedding receptions I've ever been to was a variation on this approach with a back-garden barbecue. Drink can quickly run out, and where there is no paid bar keeping it replenished can get very expensive.

Congratulations!

I think put no gifts please, or suggest a charity. Or don't say anything.

When people say 'gifts not required but if you want to, give us money for our honeymoon' then it's obvious that they do want money, even if only from those that want to or can afford (nothing wrong with that but if you actually don't want money, then steer clear as any suggestion will be taken as an instruction)

Please come celebrate with us. With each other and our guest's we will have all we need. No gifts please, if you feel you must a small donation to charity would be great anything else will be donated to charity.