So not sure this is strictly an AIBU but wasn't sure what other thread heading to put it under. When my youngest two dcs where a lot younger I had a very very dear friend. As our children grew so we didn't get to see each other as much and gradually our worlds separated more and more. In the last year I've had a terrible accident and am still recovering, however unless you saw me a lot you wouldn't have known, but I still tire v. easily and doing anything takes an inordinate amount of effort from me. So fast forward to now. We've both just had big birthdays, hers was a week before mine. The morning of her party she popped in to tell me that she couldn't make it to my party, but that her dh and ds would still come. The reason that she couldn't come broke my heart. She's had a really tough parenting year that I can only partially relate to but it is because one of her children needs her so much that she couldn't make my party (no problem for me). So after she rushed off I sat down and wrote a letter to her saying how I felt for her, how parenting older children was so fraught with worry and how much she was welcome to a cup of tea over at mine day or night etc. I then inserted this along with some vouchers to her favourite shop into her birthday card. So far so good. Then I forgot to take the card with me to her party! My injury has left me struggling to get about and I kept meaning to pop it through her letter box. Meanwhile my party has come and gone. Like her I didn't ask/want for presents and as requested she hadn't got me anything (at our age there are not many things we want for). But now if drop her letter off she'll be mortified that I bought her something and she didn't for me! I don't want her to feel like that, but equally would love her to still have the vouchers to make her feel good - she deserves them. How do I do this?