How can I show appreciation to DH

[NCforpoo]

He's been picking up all the slack while I've been ill. And I know it's getting to him. All childcare, all housework, on top of his work, gardening, diy etc. Even father's day wasn't that great- we got him a present and DD made a card but he still had to do all childcare as I had to go to bed early (Like 4pm) it's pregnancy related illness so I can't see it getting much better soon

I want to do something for him to show him I appreciate it. Just saying it isn't enough. He's a very practical person (when I have a complain about not being able to do things, he comes up with ideas rather than sympathy) so ideally something practical to make his life easier. Any ideas?!

Slightly distracted because I’m watching tv but has no one said blow job 😂

When my DH has been amazing and I want to show gratitude I clear a day for him to have a game day and play whatever he wants

Give him a day off op.

I'm the one in your husbands shoes and i'd love a day off. No illness, but my boyfriend is working like a dog day and night for the last two months now and I'm doing everything!! We have 4 children, he's out of the house from 7:30 in the morning, comes home at 5, cuppa and back out the door until 2 in the morning most of the time.

He acknowledges that i'm doing everything and thanks me all the time, which I appreciate but I just want some peace now.

Without wanting to come across nasty, if he was a single parent having to do all of this, would you still feel the need to recognise this? Just saying...

Myheartbelongsto that's good to hear. I think that feels like the best way forward. I'll see what I can arrange!
WomanLikeMeLM im not sure who I would be in that scenario... i have kids with him, i live with him, we do things together, we have 'chores'we each do, and he's doing mine... if he was a single parent he wouldn't be picking up my slack no... But equally there wouldn't be anyone's slack to pick up. Who would be the person "rewarding" them?
I think I understand the point you're trying to make- he's not doing anything a single parent wouldn't do. But it's not very relevant to our lives. He's not a single parent and he is doing more,because he also has me to deal with.
Single parents should get a day off. Just not relevant here.

Woman no, because a single parent doesn't have the luxury of the other parent being grateful that they've picked up the slack. This isn't about a single parent, it's about one half of a partnership wanting to appreciate the fact the other is doing more than their fair share and doing it well and with good grace.

I guess everyone’s different and you’ll know your husband best. My husband has done a lot recently whilst I was ill and I know he would hate the idea of me feeling I needed to go out of way to show appreciation to him for what he sees as a basic expectation I.e. one’s ill the other has to really work hard to get things done for kid/the house/life as well as work. I was off work and trying to rest not sunning myself on a rooftop pool! He’d almost see it as him not being a “proper” parent that I felt the need to do that. Me on the other hand, I’d love a show of appreciation if it was other way round

Oh wow and your illness is pregnancy related so yes my husband would feel especially rotten if I was looking to “reward” him in those circs, he likes to get on with things and bats off any praise. It’s a nice gesture in your part OP but really don’t worry about it, what he’s doing is pretty much just the decent thing and you’ve told him you appreciate him and that’s the main thing. you’re growing a person for both of your benefit I’m sure he doesn’t want you to spend any time worrying about this. I agree I would try and do whatever jobs you can from bed as you say: online food shopping etc. Good luck with your pregnancy.

Wow @BouncingBanana, way to minimise everything women go through in pregnancy and labour to say that it’s equally valid to say that a husband gives his wife a baby!

One of our scan pictures looked like our son was giving us a high five. I sneaked off and got it printed on a tshirt for DH. It's long gone but he still raves about it 20 years later. Something like that?

Judging by some of the bitter replies, I reckon there are a fair few posters who are disgruntled their partners don't plan nice little surprises for them.

What some nasty & bitter posters this thread has brought out! Nothing wrong with partners appreciating each other every now and then. Op, does he have a favourite drink? Maybe a nice bottle of whatever that is.

Judging by some of the bitter replies, I reckon there are a fair few posters who are disgruntled their partners don't plan nice little surprises for them.

I think the bitter replies probably come from single mums, who picked a loser to father their kids and are annoyed that someone else managed to picked a good 'un.

Jealousy...it's a terrible thing.

@NCforpoo
Show him this post!

Gth1234 God no! He'd be horrified!

I want to do something nice
I don't see the problem in showing appreciation to those who care about you and who are trying hard to make life easier for you.

Lifecraft thats really harsh and uncalled for

@NCforpoo

I don't think he would be horrified to know how much you are thinking of him.

Lingerie is always the solution of course, but maybe not as you aren't so well.

Films, I can do. A few older ones he may have missed.

Road House (Patrick Swayze)
Soldier (Kurt Russell)
Green Street
An Innocent Man (Tom Selleck)
Rambo (Stallone in Burma)
Frequency. (Dennis Quaid)
The Illusionist (One for you, and he may like it)

Thanks! I'll look into those!

Buy him Cobra Kai to watch (YouTube Premium). With a beer and some popcorn :)

Do you have Sky? Netflix etc? Perhaps download/ put on the 'to be watched' list some films you think he'd like and have a takeaway sorted one weekend night once kids are in bed? Make an effort to sit/ snooze with him and watch even if it's not your thing if you want to spend more time together, leave him to it if your pregnancy problem involves sickness so takeaway would be a bad idea!
Or as he sounds outdoorsy arrange for him to go for a walk/ run once the kids are in bed if you've gone to bed early and think you could deal with them until he gets back if they wake?

Sorry, thought you had 2- if you could deal with dd until he gets back.

Book a home visit massage.

*You're giving him a baby hmm

Get a grip*

So if he's ill and the OP is having to do lots of extra stuff she should just 'Get a grip'? We all need to know we're appreciated whatever the set-up.

Ooh FinnBalorsAbs CobraKai! He watched the free ones and liked them. Good idea!
Also home massage. Good idea.

Thanks for the suggestions!

@BananaCatto

I think we probably all thought the OP was struggling with sex-related thanks because of her medical problems.

Erm no, @Lifecraft, quite the opposite fortunately... but sad to see that your little mind is quite incapable of reaching any conclusion other than “different viewpoint = jealous bitches”...