Family member harassing me!

[witw]

I've had enough. This particular family member falls out with EVERYONE. She has lost so many friends. I'm talking about 10-15 people she doesn't talk to anymore because she's fallen out with them. I love her, but whenever I see her she just spends the whole time bitching about her mum (who I am very close to). I just sit and listen to it as I know that if I confront her it will cause tears, and I am so exhausted that I don't have the energy. I'm trying to look after a high needs baby and have significant things going on in my life yet I never mention any of this to her as she's so busy talking about herself.

She's called me numerous times over the past few days. Left me voicemails. I don't want to talk as I can't bring myself to pick up the phone. When I didn't answer she resorted to calling me off an unknown number to catch me out.

If I tell her how it is, it'll cause mega issues in the family and she will likely make my life hell.

I'm so tired by her. She's completely toxic and I am too nice (or too stupid) to say anything to her. I've resorted to ignoring her which I know is wrong but I am so tired by her.

I'm anxious about the whole thing. Has anyone experienced similar? Do I need to grow a pair?

You don't have to tell it how it is (though that must be really tempting!) You can just say the baby needs such a lot of attention at the moment and you don't have time to chat. If she kicks off, then you really can tell it how it is.

Hope everything goes well for your baby. That must be such a worry.

Thanks @HollowTalk - my baby is fine, he was premature and very little when he was born. He's 8 months now and catching up. He's at home and pretty much like a normal baby (my first so I know no different) with a few additional needs. I've also just left an abusive relationship, court looming, stressed, tired. I've got so much shit going on but never ever talk about it (to her or anyone). I'm so tired

Just stop seeing her. Tell her no, you and the baby are exhausted, sleeping. Fob her f and, if, as she surely will, she kicks off you can cry a lot, how could she be so cruel to a new mum with such a precious baby? Take it all out on her with a damn good pretext, might be quite therapeutic!!

Keep on ignorng her. Family and freinds will understand.

Best of luck with it all!

She has fallen out with so many people, so one more won't make any difference! Whoever she complains to will know about the others, so they will know who to blame. And it sounds like you're having a tough time so any of your friends and family who know that will know that this woman is being very, very unreasonable.

I’d tell her that this kind of behaviour is why so many people, including her own mother, have fallen out with her and, if she doesn’t pull her head in, you’ll be next. Yes, she’ll make a massive drama out of it - but she makes a massive drama out of everything anyway. At least this way she might flounce off in high dudgeon and you’ll get some peace.

She sounds like one of those people where it’s never her fault, only other people’s - even 10-15 other people.

The saying goes that if you encounter an arsehole in the morning - you met an arsehole - if you meet arseholes all day, you’re the arsehole!

As PP have said tell her you can’t talk right now because you’re busy with baby. Be firm, be strong and hang up if you need to. It’ll get easier the more you do it.

Fob her off, again and again, too tired, too busy, baby tired, not sleeping, too much going on. Too busy. Too much hassle with ex. Don't answer your phone.

If needs be text and say you have too much going on and would be no use.

Phase her out, once and for all.

Everyone will know it's not you, it's her.

You need her toxic pressure gone.

Good luck.

Grey rock, don't engage etc