...to ask for your help in cutting down drinking?

[LoopyLou1981]

I feel ridiculous asking this as a grown woman who should be able to sort this out but I’m struggling and thought someone might have a genius idea that I haven’t come up with.
I don’t want to stop drinking entirely (part of my job is entertaining/lunches and I enjoy that part of it) but we’ve got into a rut of drinking Friday-Sunday and, more often than not, that turns into nearly a bottle of wine each.
Every week I tell myself that I won’t drink the next weekend but, by the time Friday comes around I’m all set for a relaxing glass of wine at the end of a working week. Then it snowballs and I end up drinking every other night weekend.
If someone could even give me a strategy for just having one night of drinking that would help. Or how to stop at one glass?
My weight is starting to creep up and I know if I can kerb the drinking it would help.
TIA

Try some alcohol free alternatives before having a glass of wine, it really helps cutting down on the units.
My favourite is M&S apple, mango & passionfruit served in champagne flute. It tastes like a cocktail.

I’ve just gone cold turkey but I find moderation in most things hard. I’ve just started having lime and soda when out.

I’d second shaking things up and finding something new to do

I have cut mine right back the past three weeks. I was really worried because I didn’t seem to be able to get a handle on it. I enjoy red wine. I don’t want to give it up altogether but I was having at least a large glass per night and I was making me fat and tired. Affecting my job and my parenting

So I have started couch to 5k and honestly it’s a game changer. I am less anxious so less desire to drink. I come in from a run, shower, quick bite to eat then I go to bed early with a cup of tea to watch Greys Anatomy.

Honestly. I feel better than I have done in ages. Still early days but the difference has really astounded me

Stop having it in the house. End off. As a grown adult that should be pretty easy. You just stop buying it.

I'm the same op, drinking has crept up the last few months In a bid to chill after some intense studies. I had a pretty heavy weekend of socialising and had decided before it started that I am going to stop for a few weeks. Or only once in a week atleast. Mixture of knowing its a bad habit and trying to keep fit as I have put on a stone and don't want to put anymore weight on.

Change your routine on those evening.
Go out and do an exercise class, walk the dog, cycle, undertake a big cleaning /sorting job, gardening. Drive somewhere, go late night shopping. Get into mint tea.

Then go have a long bath and go to bed early.

Don't just do the same old eating / TV /drinking evening.

Absolutely. It is all about keeping busy.

I cut down about 5 years ago after finding myself hungover every other day because I couldn’t just have a single beer or glass of wine. Always turned into a few pints or a whole bottle. I kept telling myself to go cold turkey but it was so hard I never bothered.

The things that helped kick start a big reduction for me were:

1. Food! I would come home from work thinking I really needed a glass of wine and would crack the bottle open before cooking. Inevitably ended up tipsy before eating and will power went out of the window. I started not allowing myself any booze until tea was on the table. It really worked as I no longer had that ‘craving’ for a drink which was essentially hunger.

1. Start proceedings with a nice soft drink. I would just order a lime and soda or a mock tail at the start of the night. Even just having that one drink less makes a big difference.

I eventually really cut down to 2-4 drinks twice a week, got pregnant and now I’m a very occasional drinker.

Have you watched the recent panorama documentary? I found it shocking, enough to decide to stop/cut down. A doctor said that they see people coming in and the first symptom they've had is liver failure itself because we can appear well and function normally with just 10% of our liver working.

I'm going to give it a rest now after watching that. I want to see my kids grow up.

Have you checked out the Club Soda groups on Facebook? There is one for those wanting to be alcohol free but also Club Soda Together which is for those wanting to cut down rather than quit. May be worth checking out :)

Read 'The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober' by Catherine Gray. She recommends 3 months off alcohol, which I couldn't even contemplate at the beginning. Her story was so shocking to me, it kicked me into action.

Last year, I then committed to a full month off the wine, then 3 months, then a year. I feel amazing for it and there are so many benefits both physically and mentally. I now drink the odd glass of red wine, but otherwise have alcohol free beer on the weekend. I'm very conscious that it's a slippery slope, so in the main I personally hope to not drink as standard.

I'd also look at Dry January and Beyond Facebook group. It's a fantastic supportive group full of people like you, who want to cut down or stop.

PS The audiobook of this book is excellent. Can be easily to get through if you struggle for reading time.

Have a joint instead
I have also converted to beer from
Wine . Better hangovers

Like food if it's in the house il consume it! Not always but that does seem to be my default

When I was going over my wine drinking what I considered my happy (healthy) limits I made sure that there was only what I thought my limit was was in the house!

So no wine in the house except buying a bottle on a Saturday to share with Dp that evening. With the odd (rare) exception of an extra bottle for a Sunday or a particular reason.

No getting a virgin wine deal because it saved money because actually all it meant was a bottle on Friday, Saturday and Sunday!

Basically everything I drank was planned in advance and balanced in a looking at the whole week and not just that evening way so I couldn't conveniently "forget" about wed or sun

I gave up for a whole month recently. The alcohol support threads on here are amazing. The month lowered my alcohol tolerance and I started to exercise at the weekend so I couldn't drink as I had to get up for a class. I do drink now but only occasions and don't just sit in the house Friday to Sunday (sometimes starting a Thursday) downing a bottle of wine every night. I have fallen down with that a couple if times but I just started afresh and kept going! I found going to bed earlier and reading really helped me take my mind off it as I'm not really a lover of bubbly baths, candies etc and substituting with a soft drink was no good as I don't like any of them! I had a drink on Saturday night with my family for DHs birthday but im hoping this weekend will be a dry one as there's nothing on! I much prefer how I feel not drinking so I try and use that as my motivation now.

I would just go cold turkey and replace the wine with a non alcoholic drink. I like the bottle green cordials and similar with soda water in a nice glass with ice.

In fact I often find I get the same feeling from having one of those as I do from wine so I think a lot of the dependency and relaxation association with alcohol is all in the mind. For me it is anyway.

Why is 5 glasses more relaxing than one OP? Surely you get the relaxing effect with one? I have a friend who is drinking around 12 units each weekend eve. She's around 6st overweight and wants to lose weight, but says that when she has one glass, she has to finish the bottle, plus she usually starts off with a couple of large G&T first. I think the key think is accepting that glasses 2-5 don't add anything to the sense of winding down. Only calories and more stress on the body.

My tip would be don't have alcohol at home at all - find other relaxing things to do, as people have said. DH and I now never drink at home, but get a babysitter once a fortnight or so and go to our local wine bar and have one really nice, quite expensive (for us, anyway) bottle of wine with a cheese platter or similar. Even with the babysitting it costs the same or less than drinking many bottles of supermarket wine over the fortnight, and we have a really lovely relaxing time.

I also think cutting back will be much easier if your DH is on board too.

What do you drink OP? If white wine, then don't have any in the fridge, warm white wine is simply not appealing. Also only have (pref expensive) red wine with corks - somehow it feels more of a big deal uncorking a bottle, especially of you are thinking 'I'll just have one and stop' because even if you do manage to do that you'll drink the rest the next day when your plan is not to.

Drink coach app is great, use it to log everything and be shocked at the units, but also the calories and £ you are using.

Heineken 00 is a game changer! Keep that in the fridge, if you like a beer it really hits the spot.

I think it’s really hard to cut down.

I find it so much easier just not to drink, it takes out all that brain energy of ‘oh should I have one?’ And worrying that one will turn into two.

I’m not an alcoholic but alcohol IS addictive it’s designed to make you want more.

If only I knew what it was that made me suddenly lose my tolerance for alcohol to the point that I was violently ill after more than a pint/glass of wine, I'd market it.

I actually think cutting down is harder than stopping altogether, in some ways. One of the effects of alcohol is that it seems to disable your willpower function, so that after 2 glasses you are unable to resist the 3rd, 4th & 5th.

But not buying it seems like a good plan.

Lakie I think that's why only having the one planned and bought bottle helped me in the beginning.

On my own once it's opened il drink it because one glass lowered my willpower and opened my wanting more but buying one bottle to share with my Dp during our Saturday night meal meant that I had a couple of glasses and then once it was done that was it.
The fact I knew there was only that meant I enjoyed the 2 glasses I had and couldn't be pulled into having more.

To be honest I'm. I'm much better now in that I can have alcohol in the house now and not use it as long as I don't open it and 99% of the time choose to only open it if I'm going to share it with someone. I also have general rules I stick to like no weekday drinking and no more than one bottle (which if I'm sharing is actually 1/2) or if I know il be having a drink on Sunday then skip Saturday etc

Basically I now really try to balance it properly and keep on top of the thought processes.

Right, I’m going to start with 2 weeks off of drinking. We’re off on holiday in 2 weeks and I’d like to feel good going in to that. After that I don’t think there’s anything to look forward to until Xmas so I’ll try a longer stint then!
Thank you for all the helpful comments. There’s definitely some good things in there to try x

www.amazon.co.uk/This-Naked-Mind-Discover-Happiness/dp/0996715002?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

I treated myself to a new water bottle and have actually drunk near to 2 litres of water for the first time in months!
I so tired and run down. A bit of rehydration has to help! ☺️