Please help me understand....

[McPeony]

So - I have recently been coming to terms with opening up about some terrible things that happened to me as a child. That has been incredibly difficult. Meanwhile, my husband - who is not exactly the most emotionally intelligent person on the planet - has been asking me when I am going to "get over" my ordeal. Recently he tried to have sex with me and but he stopped when I burst out crying. I thought the world of him for this because it signalled to me that he was showing me some understanding. However today he completely floored me when he revealed "well I have been thinking about where else I can stick it". I was gutted. But when I got upset he got defensive and now I am feeling I have done something wrong. I feel like I am going mad here. AIBU to be upset? What should I do? I can't think straight. I don't want sympathy - I just want to know what you think. Was that something terrible to say? Was I justified to feel upset?

Your husband is an absolute fucking vile pig. You would be much better off without this poison in your life if you're ever to heal from your past abuse. I urge you to leave him.

You are totally reasonable to be upset. What a horrid and insensitive thing to say. I think you need to explain to him how hurtful that comment is. You may have been ok with sex before coming out with these revelations because you have buried your feelings for so long. Now everything will be fresh and raw again, you need to him be patient and understanding. Perhaps he was making a very bad joke because he feels uncomfortable about the situation and doesn't know how to handle it? Whatever, I hope you are getting some professional help to support you? Talking therapy will help you move forward with your life. Good luck xx

I think he is utterly disgusting and honestly the ONLY response I could have made would be to tell him him to stick up his own arse. so yes. Truly truly terribe thing to say.

Bloody hell he really does sound emotionally clueless (at least I hope he's not just a selfish dick). Could you afford couples counselling?

Sorry OP, he sounds absolutely vile.

I hope you are receiving support elsewhere, because this man is horrid.

You deserve much better, and I am so sorry you experienced trauma in childhood, and are now having to cope with an insensitive partner.

I do think you need to explore why you think his behaviour is ok. A good counsellor will help you work on self worth.

There are men out there who are gentle and sensitive and who would support you always. You deserve so much better than what you currently have. Please believe that x

What a vile prick. Where else can he stick it? Does he think you're just a talking wank sock? I can think of a few places you should tell him to stick it and there wouldn't be much of it left afterwards.

Your husband is a disgusting little shit