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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

My return to work

25 replies

BumbleNova · 16/06/2019 19:41

Posting for traffic! I return to work full time end of next month and I'm dreading it... My DH travels for work, not a lot but a couple of days a month and I have a full on city type job.

If you were me, what help would you put in place? My beautiful DS will be at a great nursery. I have a cleaner for 2 hours a week.

What domestic help would really make a difference? I'm thinking about someone to change the beds, shove a load of laundry on, ironing etc. In an ideal world, what would you love? I'm looking for ideas!

OP posts:

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 16/06/2019 19:47

Would a live in au-pair work? Obviously they can't be left in sole charge of the baby but they are a second pair of hands plus can do light domestic duties as well.

Di11y · 16/06/2019 19:50

maybe of those meal boxes? I hate meal planning.

AyBeeCee10 · 16/06/2019 19:52

A cleaner for 2 hours a week is nothing. What could they even do in 2 hours. I would up the hours.

janetforpresident · 16/06/2019 19:55

If you can afford it I agree that you could have the ckeanerr longer maybe 2 hrs twice a week? Also someone to do your ironing. You want weekends to be about you and your family so definitely get food deliveries.

Personally I wouldn't want anyone else changing our beds.

Scottishgirl85 · 16/06/2019 19:56

Do you just have one child? I returned full-time after our first and it was absolutely fine. No outside help or family nearby. Just gone back after our 2nd and we now have a cleaner for 2 hours a week. I would wait and see how you get on. The thought is always worse than the reality. Life will be busy but totally do-able. Don't panic!

Oysterbabe · 16/06/2019 19:58

Do you have anyone to help when your child gets sent home with a temperature
fucking constantly ?

EarlGreyOfTwinings · 16/06/2019 19:59

Cleaners can agree to change bedding, iron, put groceries away. You just need to find the right one, many are happy to work more hours.

Helsvamp · 16/06/2019 20:00

Any chance you could go part time or do 1 day a week less

stucknoue · 16/06/2019 20:02

Up the cleaners hours if you can, add changing bedlinen and washing it to the remit, laundry isn't that time consuming but how about a gardener

FinallyHere · 16/06/2019 20:06

Well we don't have a baby (old hummer alert) but both work FT and and have cleaner twice a week.

We found her by recommendation and she is now our 'Treasure'. I originally asked her how long she thought she would need to keep the house 'ready for my mother to visit anytime'. We added an hour to each visit so that she can tackle bigger jobs in rotation.

If you are happy with your existing cleaners work and she is prepared to take on more responsibility i would talk to her about what else she can do. I would encourage you to use her to change/launder sheets rather than have someone else with whom you have to interact.

Treasure also subcontracts our ironing to another lady (who we never see) and finds substitutes to cover holidays etc

What about food deliveries. We gave a regular fortnightly slot for a delivery to which we can both add things so that we never run out of the basics. DH cooks most evenings but I eat breakfast and lunch at work (lovely good subsidised canteen) so only need a snack in the evening. Major savings on meal planning and effort too.

Although we have only a small courtyard garden we gave a weekly visit from a gardener to keep the place looking today outside as well as inside.

Oh, and find someone who knows you and your lifestyle to find lovely clothes for you. Style consultant or just a shop you trust. Regular order for tights/hold ups, nappy service and baby food and you are sorted

Enjoy.

All the best

Dippypippy1980 · 16/06/2019 20:32

Send out your ironing if the cleaner doesn’t do this. Have five work outfits ready at all times, along with a mix of clean ironed casual clothes. Makes a huge difference.

thethoughtfox · 16/06/2019 20:37

Up the cleaner's hours and have them pop in during the week for a short burst to do any tidying/ cleaning you need.

VeThings · 16/06/2019 20:37

As everyone else says, see if the cleaner will increase hours. Even 30min to change all bedding will help. It’ll be difficult for her to actually wash it all, so I’d just get her to stick it in a pile somewhere and you run a few loads through when you’re back from work.

Get a tumble dryer if you haven’t got one already - this has made the biggest difference to me as a FT working parent. I can do all sheets in one evening and most clothes on a Saturday when we’re pottering round taking DC to clubs, parties etc.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 16/06/2019 20:41

I'd get 2x 2 hours for the cleaner - 2hours Monday am to do a post weekend clean. 2 hours Friday to do beds, laundry and ironing.

Set up an online food delivery, make 4 portions an evening one for you, one for dh and one each for tomorrow's lunch.

Get a tumble dryer. Get a slow cooker. Get Amazon Prime.

SlackerMum1 · 16/06/2019 20:45

Definitely up your cleaner. Ours does 4 hours x 2 - Monday and Friday. So that essentially covers everything except the day to day stuff like dishes etc. She cleans, tidies, changes beds/ towels, does the laundry & ironing, and had a schedule for the bigger jobs. It’s not just the time saved but all the mental load - I don’t have to think about whether towels are clean or last time the oven got cleaned, it just happens. Must be what it feels like to be a man... 🤔

Shelbybear · 16/06/2019 20:46

Well if money is not a problem. Up the cleaners hours, get her to do bedding, even some washings. Could she maybe come twice a week. Send out ironing, get a gardener if you've got a garden. See if you can find anyone locally or even who does home cooked meals. My boss gets someone to cook several home cooked meals for her to make after work. Not sure how much it costs probably pricey!

I cried at the thought of going back to work but it was actually ok. I only went back pt though and it's a great balance.

CaledonianSleeper · 16/06/2019 20:58

The most difficult thing to deal with in the early months of nursery is what to do when child is poorly and can’t go. And it can be very frequent in the early days. So if you can put in place plans for that so you don’t feel incredibly stressed about missing loads of work that would be a huge help.

Dippypippy1980 · 16/06/2019 21:07

I learnt a few basic, quick and health recipes. And always had the ingredients in.

And to keep me sane, I found a lovely child friendly hotel within easy enough driving distance for the odd weekend away. I was a single parent for a while and room service was a god send😊.

silvercuckoo · 16/06/2019 21:13

Maybe a bit unorthodox - I had a room-for-chores swap agreement once with a middle aged Polish lady (she was working a day job as a cleaner elsewhere, supporting her two daughters through university back home). She took on all the housework (cleaning, tidying, ironing, laundry, cooking from recipe boxes) and we were looked after like royalty. I am a single parent with an intense city job, and this was the best arrangement I've ever have had.

Original poster

BumbleNova · 16/06/2019 21:20

Loads of great ideas - thank you all so much!

Bizarrely one of my work benefits is seven days of emergency child care with a nanny if my DS is too I'll for nursery. I'm sure I will need it. If not, I'll have a conversation with my wonderful MIL. She lives nearby and sees lots of him.

I think upping the cleaner to ease the mental load is a really cunning plan. That's what I'm worried about - the interminable to do list. And yes, if I can find one, a gardener would be great.

Re booking a slot for food delivery - do you agree one with your DH or can you actually book a weekly slot? We are terrible, pre DS we still food shopped daily.

OP posts:

Original poster

BumbleNova · 16/06/2019 21:23

@helsvamp my first month will be four days but honestly, my job cannot be done part time. Clients don't work part time and my colleagues who work "part time" actually work full time but for 20% less. Its a lose lose situation.

OP posts:

tryingtobebetterallthetime · 16/06/2019 21:25

I worked in a demanding job with two young sons. I might be a be a bit strange, but my number one most appreciated thing was having the beds changed. I was brought up believing that clean sheets once a week are vital and I would spend my down time changing beds if it wasn't done. Our cleaner did it as part of her work every week. Bliss.

FinallyHere · 16/06/2019 21:37

Ocado reserve lets you book a regular slot, weekly or fortnightly and log any holidays when in doesn't come.

parietal · 16/06/2019 21:47

cleaner up to about 6 hours per week including laundry + sheets.

weekly ocado delivery + meal planning once a week.

good childcare backup plans for when the trains home from London are late and nursery is closing and DH is away.

avalanching · 16/06/2019 21:55

Honestly i wouldn't panic. My DH is military, goes away months at a time, I had no family around and commuted 1.5 hours each way and have worked full time with the 2 kids from young toddler age, I'm not saying that to upstage but to say I really didn't struggle. Online shop, have a cleaner, and let your kid eat at day care. Try not to make it a bigger thing than it is and just crack on with it before having too many predisposed ideas. It's hard at the beginning when they are ill, but it settles down.

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