Or am I just hormonal?

[PregnantOnPurpose]

Im turning 23 on Wednesday.

I've invited all of my family out for a meal on Wednesday to celebrate, we tend to celebrate a lot of occasions as a family ap this isn't unusual anyway.
My aunty has a baby and I suggested sping it on the weekend so that it could be earlier and people can get kids off to bed at normal time, so trying to make it easy for everyone.

As a bit of a background story, my sister and brother have birthdays before mine, all I'd which the whole family has attended.

When I asked my aunt she says she would have to see what money was like, I was fine with this and said it was going to be at the pub across the road from me, about 5 mins from where they live. She replied with "ack, definitely count us out then!"
The pub is award winning for food, thyve been their before with no problems, and for my sisters birthday a few years ago, so I dont know why she has a problem.

I knew straight away that if my aunty wasnt coming, neither was my grandparents, to which they replied a few hours later saying they couldn't come due to my grandad having a fall a couple of weeks earlier and still being swollen.. my mum had been round for lunch and said he was eating like a horse and even had seconds, hes just a bit bruised but fine.

I was trying to be understanding, but today I've been to a show 50 minutes from home, and found my aunty with my grandparents have also gone, they didn't bother to say hi and seemed to be avoiding us.

I think its because they know that if my grandad can travel 50 minutes to eat at a food festival, then he can come 5 minutes up the road for a meal for my birthday.

I was seething through my teeth and it ruined my day. We used to be close as a family when young, but.. and I'm not trying to brag or drip feed, but since I've had a goo steady career and bought a house with DP they dont seem to want to know, I think its because her daughter, who is my age, failed college, failed an apprenticeship, got sacked from a job and generally is a bit carefree about her life I think there may be an element of resentment or jealousy. But I could be wrong.

Am I being unreasonable, is it just the pregnancy hormones?

I'm sorry for the long story but I've been on the verge of tears all da ly wondering why I'm being treated differently to my siblings.

My mum wants me to keep the peace as not confront them, but I hate the thought of being unappreciated and not being able to voice how upset I am.

AIBU?

I guess what I'm asking is:

If I distance myself from these certain family members, am I going to make my immediate families life harder? I dont want to cause tension, but I also really dont want to have a lot to do with them anymore. This has been the final straw for me..

You're having your own child now so just concentrate on that and the family you have that do make the time and effort for you

That's what I want to do, worry only about those who matter.

But we celebrate almost everyone birthday together at some point, usually with a bbq or meal or buffet, and I want to not go to these anymore, if they cant make the offer for me I dont want to do it for them.

But it means I'll be missing out soensing time with my family I do love, I'm in such two minds. I feel like I might be cutting my nose off to spite my face but not going to their celebrations anymore. But I also really want to take stand for myself.

Shameful bumping for someone to tell me um not bu and to bin them off

I don't think you are BU. If they don't have the time for you then why should you make an effort with them.

Also think you are right about the jealousy.

You don't need to dramatically bin them off just lower your effort - very easy whilst pregnant then a baby then a toddler you can remain dignified when you do see them at wider family events etc.

That true.
I would never cause a scene, but I'd they was to ask or make a comment about my no-show.. which is likely, I'm not sure I could bite my tongue in that situation.

Don't know if this is her reason why but I hate taking my children to pubs. So if there are family celebrations in pubs I either go on my own or decline.

@yellowcar2
That's reasonable, but she often goes to the pub for lunch with her OH and takes the children and baby.
Shes always checking in on fb out for food. Shes not shy to take her children anywhere in fact.

She doesn’t want to go. She probably doesn’t like you.

We went through a stage with our cousins, our grandparents were always going on about how successful they were (they had a trust fund so could pursue anything they wanted).

It got to the point no one in the family had a bond with them because their life was so different to our own.

We found out later that something similar happened with their other cousins, they were ostracised.

Don’t take it personally. They probably don’t like you because you don’t have anything in common and are a bit braggy.

Go to the celebrations of those who do make the effort. Don't go to any celebrations for (or at the home of) aunty or grandparents. Let them know why as well.

"You've been making it clear through your behaviour that you either have a problem with me or aren't interested in maintaining a relationship with me. I've been trying to make the effort to gain back the closeness that we used to have but you never reciprocate and clearly don't want this. It's really hurtful and embarrassing for me to be so clearly rejected and avoided by your so to avoid anymore upset and disappointment for myself I'll stop making the effort and won't be bothering you further.'

Update:
Came home from work to a card in the letterbox. Grandparents pipped round while I was at work to leave a card. Clearly no intention of actually wanting to see me.

Just adds insult to injury.

You're upset that you got a birthday card?!

I agree with @Meccacos. Is your sister maybe a bit more mature/pleasant than you and maybe that's why they wanted to celebrate with her. You sound quite insufferable.

@Treaclesweet

I'm upset that my grandma who I've alwsy been close to walked straight past me without another thought on Sunday, then came to my house while I was at work to pop a card in my letterbox without letting me know so I could arrange a long lunch at work so I could have at least invited her in for a cup of tea.

What hurts is even my mum, who wants me to keep the peace, is now saying how deliberate it seems that they are avoiding me for some reason or another.

My sister cant tolerate sitting in a room with them, it's only because my mum does the inviting that they come over, if she had it her way they wouldnt be at any of her birthdays ect.