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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want to sell this flight on

32 replies

BG2015 · 16/06/2019 13:50

DS (16) had a holiday booked with his girlfriend (together for 12months) and her family. Two large villas accommodating 20 of them for 2 weeks.

I paid for it (£300 flight, £400 villa) against my better judgement and last week he finished with her. She's a lovely girl, nice family and I'm very sorry that they have split but he's decided he doesn't want a girlfriend. It wasn't an easy decision for him.

I've suggested to her mum that they try and find a friend to go on the holiday and give me a token amount towards the holiday, I don't expect the full £700 as it's short notice - they go in 5 weeks.

Mum has said gf doesn't want to take anyone, she's heartbroken and needs time to get her head around their breakup. She says if my DS changes his mind the holiday is still there. He doesn't want to go and I've communicated this to them a number of times.

I have now suggested that they give me the flight details so that I can at least sell the flight on but they are holding out on me. I'm truly sorry that my son has let her and them down and I understand that the villa money is gone but am I wrong to want to recoup at least something.

I have also thought that they could take anyone on this holiday now for free (bar a ticket name change) and I would never know.

OP posts:
babbi · 16/06/2019 13:57

Sorry . You just need to write the money off
Unfortunate but that’s how it is.
It won’t be easy to resell the ticket anyway if it is linked to the lead passenger from the GF family .
They would need to be doing the admin to make this happen .

SolitudeAtAltitude · 16/06/2019 14:01

You just need to write it off.

Learning money, for you, learning not to treat teens like grown ups just yet

If he still needs his mum to pay his flights and fight his corner regarding refunds, he's too young to go on this kind of holiday

16 is still a kid

He can go again when it's HIS money, and his outlook

Chune · 16/06/2019 14:04

I think that’s what they call hard luck I’m afraid.

Stompythedinosaur · 16/06/2019 14:09

Sorry, but I think this is not a situation where you can recoup the money (except perhaps from you ds!)

ScreamingValenta · 16/06/2019 14:11

If your DS was the one to end things, and his ex-girlfriend is heartbroken, I can't imagine his family will be feeling very well-disposed towards your DS, and they're unlikely to be disposed to go out of their way to help him.

I'm not saying he's at fault in any way, but their reaction sounds normal and human, so I think you will have to take the loss on the chin - unless he feels up to going along anyway as a single person (which doesn't sound like much fun).

Justbreathing · 16/06/2019 14:14

Why on earth would they want to do anything kind to someone who broke their daughters heart!! I mean that might not be the reality, that might be nothing to do with you. But I’m sure that’s not how they see it.

You know who owes you this money don’t you?? You’re son!

PositiveVibez · 16/06/2019 14:17

Your son should work towards paying off the money you have lost.

In their eyes, your son has broken their daughters heart and that's on him. The last thing on their mind will be wondering how to reimburse you.

Obviously if he didn't want a gf, that's fine, but there needs to be a consequence to him for basically throwing your £700 away.

WhyTho · 16/06/2019 14:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Diamondeye · 16/06/2019 14:18

You’re not really losing out. You paid that money for your ds with the expectation you were not getting the money back.

Userplusnumbers · 16/06/2019 14:20

Your DS did the finishing - this is one of the consequences. He made a financial commitment that you covered - the debt is his to repay, not former GF/family

blubberyboo · 16/06/2019 14:21

Sorry but you need to this off as experience. It would have been the first thing I would have considered when he first asked me to book and pay for it. ie that the money would need written off if they broke up. They are very young so that always was going to be a strong possibility.
The lead passenger won’t be able to separate the booking out to sell his flight independently and it is not fair for you to expect them to take and be responsible for a stranger or another person on their booking
Anybody that cancels a holiday within 5 weeks of the date should expect to lose their full monies

swingofthings · 16/06/2019 14:22

They are young, breakups happen. Ultimately the flight ticket belong to him. However upset they are as indeed, they will have to support a heartbroken teenager, I think they have no right to refuse to give you the details of the ticket to see if you can give it to someone else if indeed names can be changed.

blubberyboo · 16/06/2019 14:23

Your son also does not owe you money because you gave it to him as a gift. He has just chosen to waste it on something he won’t use. Move on

Justbreathing · 16/06/2019 14:25

I should think the least the girlfriend deserves is to be able to take a mate with her if she wants. But clearly she really is cut up if she is keeping his space open.
She should just tell him to take a running jump.

Justbreathing · 16/06/2019 14:26

Oh and if I was your son, I might know I don’t “owe” you the money. But I would be decent enough to offer to try and pay some of it back as a gesture that I understand all decisions have consequences

unfortunateevents · 16/06/2019 14:48

Was your son sharing a room with his girlfriend on the holiday? Even if he wasn't I can see why her family don't want to put themselves out to try and find someone at short notice - someone whom presumably they wouldn't ordinarily consider going on holiday with?

Original poster
BG2015 · 16/06/2019 14:50

I totally agree with you all and he has agreed to pay some of his part time job wages to me.

But that flight belongs to me and as I paid for it I can do with it what I see fit. The villa money, yes is written off but the flight is in my sons name so actually not there's.

OP posts:
justbeniceplease · 16/06/2019 14:57

On a rather more practical matter, who is going to want to buy it? If the flight is booked as part of a group how would you co ordinate that?

ScreamingValenta · 16/06/2019 15:00

When you asked them about the flight details, what was their response?

iwantavuvezela · 16/06/2019 15:03

I migh be wrong but I ink you are entitled to claim the taxes part of your flight back if you don't fly - so you could get that back. Why not phine / email the airline and see what the rules are - it's pointless losing th flight money if you can recoup some of it.

Pipandmum · 16/06/2019 15:10

If the ticket is in your sons name I don’t understand why you can’t get the details. But most of these kind of flights are non transferable, and if it was I’m not sure whether the girl friend not wanting some one else to go matters - if it’s a large group they could invite anyone - it doesn’t have to be in connection to her.
Anyway guess it’s an expensive lesson to learn all round.

PCohle · 16/06/2019 15:12

I think you need to write this off. The money was effectively a gift to your son that you were never going to get back. If he wants it back I think he needs to have the maturity to discuss it with his ex's family directly. I imagine the flight will be non-transferable though.

Thingsdogetbetter · 16/06/2019 15:19

If (and it's a big if, most airlines don't allow this. They've got the money already, they don't care about anything else! If they do allow it 5 weeks may be outside their timelimit) the airline will allow a name change it will be expensive! . And they will only do so through the credit card that booked the flight, not the person whose name the ticket is in. The credit card owner would have to contact the airline and pay for the name change with the same credit card. Do you think the girl's mother is going to go through this hassle for your son?

Contact the airline and ask about their name change conditions before you contact her mum with any demands.

BrienneofTarthILoveYou · 16/06/2019 15:21

YABU - your son has decided not to go & unsurprisingly his ex-GFs family aren't being helpful and can't say I blame them. I'd say that's tough luck for you - he should be the one to pay you back & you should all leave the family alone to enjoy their holiday.

higherforce · 16/06/2019 15:21

Christ! Is this for real? Poor girl is heartbroken and you're expecting her to take a friend in his place? Why on earth would she want to do that? To socialise with someone she didn't choose to go on holiday with? Why would a friend want to go just to listen to her heartbreak for the period of the holiday? Doesn't sound like much fun.

Listen, your son pulled out. It's not the girl or her family's fault. You need to write it off. People who cancel holidays and flights at short notice don't expect to get their money back. I'm amazed you're pushing for this.