To not sponsor dm to do this?

[FartMachine]

Every year since the 70’s my dm has competed in a big race linked to her hobby. In the last 5 years or so this hobby has become very trendy and the race has had far too many entrants so lots of people haven’t been able to do it.

One way of guaranteeing your place is to do it sponsored. So you can either pay around £100 for entry but you won’t know for certain you get a place until not a huge amount of time before or you pay £250 and do it for their charity. Dm wants to ensure her place so is doing it sponsored.

She won’t stop posting it on bloody FB, posters around town, she’s there with her clip board at school pick up time nagging people about it. If she was honest about it and said ‘oh I just need to raise an extra £150 in order to do my hobby’ then I’d give her the money. But she’s going on and on about this bloody charity that she couldn’t give a crap about. The charity is very, very specific and not what I would consider worthy at all. Along the lines of teaching dry stone walling techniques to the recently retired.

Dm is getting really upset as she thinks no one cares enough about her to sponsor her. I keep telling her that it’s a stupid charity and everyone she’s asking knows she does this every year and normally pays for it herself. But dm is feeling really sad and I’m tempted to just put a few anonymous donations on her justgiving site. But then again I don’t want to pay for retirees to learn dry stone walling! Wwyd?

I'd either give her £1 & say "Every little bit helps towards the charity" or I'd stick to my guns & just donate to charities I felt we're worthwhile.

YANBU. As this is an annual thing, don't encourage her by making anon donatiins! Tell DM that you already donate what you can afford to charities for starving children and people in war stricken countrues (Yemen is suffering big time) and that you just don't have the money to donate anymore, especially.

Tell her that she needs to see the overall cost as the entry and needs to busget accordingly each year.

I know you prob won’t say op but I really want to know what the charity is 😆
No you are not unreasonable, my friends husband is climbing Kilimanjaro soon and I won’t sponsor for that as most of it is the price of him getting there

Great North Run?

I run and cycle. I stopped asking people for sponsorship decades ago. It’s nit like running or cycling is a hardship to me, i don’t expect people to pay me to have fun!

I think when it's your mother you could/should just explain exactly what you've said here.

Depending on how much the £250 is to you and her/the rest of the family and as it's obviously an important thing for her, I'd be inclined to find a way to make sure it's paid for but I agree with you about the fundraising.

As an aside, if she's being doing it proficiently since the 70s is there any possibility of a good for age place or the organisers giving her a place for her long and unbroken attendance in return for some publicity? That's pretty impressive, if she's managed to be there every year.

It is amazing that she’s still doing it in her 60’s but she would hate for any publicity and/ or fuss to be made of her doing it. It’s outdoor swimming and there are actually quite a lot of older people doing it (although she’s definitely at the older end now as she’s late 60’s and this is a very long swim).

She wouldn't want to do an article about her long attendance but she prepared to badger people at the school gate for money

I'd tell my mum what I thought about the fundraising but I think if we were able, me and my sister (but more likely my dad!) would just pay it all.

runmore I know, she’s a contrary old thing.

Would she sponsor you? Unless you’re skint I don’t see the harm in chucking in £20. It’s your mum.

What is it about the charity that you find ridiculous?

To be brutally honest, I hate all these appeals for sponsorship on social media now. Especially when feeling obliged to sponsor, e.g.. if it's a close friend or family member. To me it is nothing to do with raising money for charity and everything to do with the entrant ticking off bucket lists or showing off. When you have tens and tens of these things every year it get a ridiculous. She needs to pay for it herself if she wants to do it.

If she wants to do it that badly, she needs to cough up the £250 herself. I don't see why anyone should get other people to donate to charity while they get to do their own hobby/event of a lifetime/whatever. She'll be the one enjoing the race, why should anyone else pay?

I don’t tend to sponsor adults for doing something unless the activity itself benefits someone or something. So litterpicking yes, hike along the Great Wall, no. I also donate directly to charities I support.
Do what you are comfortable with, OP.

What is her hobby that needs sponsoring?

Is it the Dart 10k? Good for your mum. I do think the organisers could have sorted something for long time attendees. I think that would have been a nice gesture.

Tbh I'd just give your mum £250.

If your mum is regularly at school, it sounds like she's providing (free?) childcare. £250 (or the extra £150) for something very important to her seems like an appropriate thank you if she can't pay it herself.

? Swoosh.

baga it’s a charity offering something to a group of people that I do not personally think need help. I object to donating money to help people do something that they could afford to do themselves. I also don’t feel particularly happy paying my dm money to do her hobby when she has much, much more disposable income than I do.

Sorry I didn’t make it clear in the op but dm definitely doesn’t need the money and can easily afford to pay the sponsorship without it affecting her budgeting in any way. She’s just suddenly acting like she’s Mother Teresa because now she’s doing it for charity, rather than for fun like she has for the last 43 years.

runmore she definitely doesn’t offer free childcare unfortunately. She walks with me to collect dc’s once a week or so if she’s nearby or she thinks there may be someone she’ll bump into that she can get to sponsor her.

I'm doing a long swim in the summer. I'm not asking for sponsors as it's a thing for me.

Dressing up personal enjoyment as doing good for others is annoying.

I'd give her a fiver then let her get on with it - show no further interest.