To not buy FIL Fathers Day gifts from the kids?

[HopefullyAnonymous]

This is a recurring argument every year. DH buys his father a gift from him, I buy my father a gift from me and the DCs choose something for DH.

A few years ago BIL took up with a woman who already had a DD and since then they have also bought FIL a gift for “grandad” on Father’s Day (same for MIL on mother’s day). ILs are very welcoming and do treat this girl the same as our DCs which is nice.

Anyway every year since it’s being brought up how awful it is that we don’t buy FIL a gift from our kids. I usually just do my best bewildered face and say “but he’s not their dad...?” This year MIL has text outlining her upset and that we are thoughtless etc if “even Molly knows to get him a gift”.

AIBU to think Father’s Day is for fathers? We have a good relationship with FIL and MIL and make sure they know they are appreciated throughout the year. I don’t want to cause issues every year but I don’t see why I should buy gifts I don’t want to but either

*Molly is not the child’s real name.

I saw a card in the shops 'Happy Father's Day' from the dog.

It's bloody madness and utterly ridiculous to be making cards from a dog.

What's the world coming to.

Why can't your DH organise a gift for his father from your children? Why do you even need to be involved?

He can inform them that Grandparent day in October - "Fancy Molly not knowing that!"

Why can't your DH organise a gift for his father from your children? Why do you even need to be involved?

DH buys his own gift. He is of the same opinion as me when it comes to a gift for FIL. Had he chose to buy one I’d have minded my own business.

Molly is 7 so I would imagine she’s not buying whiskey of her own accord

*chosen

I buy my father a gift from me and I get a grandad card from my children but that's it.

I sign the FD card to my DF from just me. He isn’t my DH’s dad nor is it grandad day. Just explain it’s Father’s Day. Same approach for mother’s day. I don’t send my step-mother anything either, as she isn’t my mother (I’d left home well before my DF met her)

If you want to keep the peace buy a crap box of chocolates.

If mil has the cheek to complain that the gift isn't good enough then she needs to give her head a wobble.

It's bad enough that younger people are feeding the card-buying, grabby-present-demanding frenzy, but grandparents?

Grim.

Pleeeeeaaaase stick to your guns!
Do NOT buy them anything on behalf of your kids for father or mothersday.

BUT i like the idea of telling them that the kids can make/buy them something for grand parents day. You know, grandparents day... as they are their GrandParents and all

Unless principles are paramount then as this madness seems to mean a bonkers amount to them, an easy life would involve a cheap card and £1 bag of sweets bought from 'Molly's pocket money'.

The good news if that if they want to break the link between the individual and the event (Mothering Sunday, Father's Day, presumably someone's birthday) is stretched like this, you should look forward to your gift from the ILs on your DH's birthday and on your DC's birthday. Get your DH to text how upset you are the first time they forget doing this at their thoughtlessness.

If its important to them I'd probably just do it. You can get personalised Toblerone and such like on the Internet for a few pounds or join in with Molly from all the kids.

It seems this bothers MIL more than FIL.

Women get far too invested in this stuff.

"He may be Molly's father, but he's not the father of my children, so he wont be getting anything from them"

I wouldn’t think to buy FIL anything, that’s down to DP.

We have never done gifts on Mothers/Fathers day for grandparents.
The gift I buy my parents I include my name, dh's name and dd's name on; as does dh for his gifts,

Ive never really understood the whole buying for grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc unless they have had a very significant parent-like role in bringing up the child perhaps.

It's funny how people expect stuff. We got a message from my FIL that he would like a home made card for his birthday from the kids....they were in high school and well past crafty days!!!