The worry of moving in with the dad to my unborn baby

[namechange7188]

Name changed and please no harsh comments.

I only split with DS's dad near the start of the year. I got pregnant by someone else a month later. Our relationship was pretty forced for a while, he was controlling and emotionally abusive and made me feel guilty to ever think about splitting up as I'd be 'breaking up' DS's family. I wasn't happy.
I started seeing new DP soon after and I was pregnant after a month. It was a genuine contraceptive failure so completely unexpected. We had known each other for a while before seeing each other and he was completely supportive but we did talk for weeks about what the best option would be for everyone, as I was worried about my 3 year olds adjustment to it and obviously my ex etc etc. We went back and forth but ultimately I decided to keep it.
I'm ridiculously happy (of course), but I'm just so worried about moving in together after half a year (it'll be in a few months yet). I'd always been the person to say that not only would I not want kids with someone else if myself and DS's dad were to split, but I certainly wouldn't introduce a new DP to DS for at least a year. This is so unconventional and definitely not my plan and I'm just so scared of the adjustment for my DS and what people will think.

Is there any way I can go easier on myself with this?

If it were me - if hold off on moving in together and I'd ensure my surname was baby's surname. Even with the best of intentions people still spilt up. I'd suggest taking it slow as pregnancy kind of super sped you both. And with your past of choosing the wrong guy, I'd make sure this one was the right one before any other commitments come along.

It could work taking the leap of faith but only time will tell.

I wouldn’t do it personally, I’d wait until the baby has been born and see how you’re both getting along then. It’s a tricky situation but you need to consider your three year old most of all right now and his stability. The last thing you want is to move your new DP in and realise you don’t actually like each other all that much so he winds up moving out again...