To be allowed to have a moan?

[Lori67]

Yesterday I was meant to pick something up in town which will now mean I have major inconvenience tomorrow. Not a big deal but I was really annoyed at myself. Having a bit of a moan about it to DH this morning - mainly about me being absent minded and cross at myself for forgetting. He got annoyed at me and said it's not important at least u don't have cancer. His first wife died from cancer so when he says this it makes me feel guilty and also insignificant. He says this all the time. It makes me want to shut him out.

Wow, so you're essentially never going to be allowed to complain about anything in life because his first wife lost her life to cancer? That's a pretty big brick to be beaten over the head with every time you want a moan.

Can you challenge him on it and point out how ridiculous he's being?

HIBU. Part of the fun of being alive and not being dead is being able to have a moan sometimes if things don't go your way.

Also, I'm not sure if your DH is like this, but I've noticed that the people who always come out with "at least you're alive" "first world problems" etc are the FIRST to moan bitterly when the slightest thing goes wrong for them.

How are the two even comparable.

Honestly it's a horrible tactic designed to stop you talking about something he doesn't want to be bothered with.

Unpleasant.

I used to have a friend like this. She has a serious, but manageable chronic condition. Any time I dared express a negative feeling about my life, I got ‘It could be worse; you could be living with X, having to take pills for the rest of your life’. It’s so fucking wearing.

If you lose a £10 note, are you not allowed to be annoyed because it could have been £50? If you crash your car and it’s written off, is that no big deal because at least the house didn’t burn down? How high up does the hierarchy of things you’re allowed to complain about go?