To contact this woman?

[ThisIsNotMyName100]

Have NCd in case I get flamed regular poster on pregnancy boards.

Will try to add a bit of context as not to drip feed....
DH & I used to work for the same company - high pressure sales environment. A couple of times a year they do "top performers trips" to various locations including Vegas.
DH is 10 years older than me, both joined company at same age, as recent grads.
Before I joined (& we met), he went on the Vegas trip. The company arranged for an "nightlife host," we'll call her Liz, to show the group (mostly men in their 20's) the clubs, the strip etc. Liz apparently took a liking to DH and kept trying to kiss him, wanted to go to his room etc. DH continued to reject her (this is a story colleagues have told me so I believe it to be true). Liz kept in touch with the group via FB and added DH as a friend after.

DH went on the trip numerous times after, including with me when I'd joined - the company used different "hosts" - however Liz could see that various members of the company were there and messaged DH a few times asking to meet up. DH remained polite and friendly but said no.

Three years ago, Liz contacted DH asking for career advice... apparently being a "nightlife host" wasn't for her and she wanted to move into the sales DH is involved in. DH suggested she connect with him on LinkedIn and kindly introduced her to some of his stateside connections, remained professional throughout.

6 months later, we got engaged. DH updated his status on FB to share this and I was hit with horrible messages from Liz furious that I'd "taken her man off the market." She also wrote on the status that she was "gunning for me." We thought it was a joke - who on earth is so unhinged?? - and I messaged back something along the lines of thanks for the congrats only for her to reply that it wasn't in fact a joke.

DH blocked and deleted her from FB. He's had a couple of LinkedIn messages since... "congrats on the new job", "hope you're well ;)", "would be good to catch up ;)"... which he has ignored.

Watching tv together and he receives a message from her on LinkedIn saying "I'm in London where can we meet ;)"

He immediately blocked and deleted her from LinkedIn.

I got really upset - I'm 10 weeks pregnant and have been suffering badly with HG and think it's a build up of feeling miserable with that... but I genuinely cannot believe that someone would be so brazen and brash, especially knowing that a man is married and has rejected every single one of her advances before.

It's probably not an AIBU but WWYD? I want to contact her and tell her to fuck off but do not want to come across as unhinged as her

Watching tv together last night **

Nothing

Your dh has consistently said no and now completely blocked her

Its over

Don’t contact her. She’s not going to listen.

If you believe all of the story you’ve typed to be true, then that’s probably best for you to leave it like that.

Ngl I doubt ur DH is so attractive and charming that this woman would be pinning for him so much. Chances are something happened between them. But that’s just me speculating as a stranger of course!

She's batshit.

Don't engage. Your DH is blocking and deleting so all is well.

Enjoy your father-to-be day

Nothing. She’s crazy and you can’t talk to crazy.

Ignore. It will drive me mad.

She sounds like an absolute loon, but the important thing here is that your husband has behaved with absolute loyalty throughout and has never shown any sign of interest. That’s the only thing that matters!

If you contact her you will only give her the drama she wants, and another avenue to your husband. You will be validating her belief that she is an actual threat to your marriage. Starve her of the oxygen of your attention.

I'd leave it. Your DH is clearly handling it. If you contact her she'll likely persist. Either she'll get a reaction out of you and continue, or think she's causing problems between you and up her game.

Be quietly smug.

As others have said if you engage it will simply add fuel to her already piled-high bonfire, so leave it alone and let her burn herself out.

Your DH has blocked her, make sure you've blocked her on everything and if she continues trying different ways to get in contact consider logging it with police.

She's crazy. Just ignore her and hope your paths never cross again! You're already the winner in this situation, feel smug!

Thank you all. I understand that silence is loudest answer here but part of me just wants to know WTH she is thinking.

@sincethereis completely agree with you however DH has sworn and colleagues have referred to her as "that psycho woman who wouldn't leave X alone all trip" when recalling memories so I do believe him.

He is with you, he loves you, he's ignoring her (although OK him quite some te to block her from both accounts). Just laugh at it, who cares about her, she might do the same to a number of men, not just your OH. What she does is irrelevant, she's just making a full of herself, why would it make you so annoyed?

Agree with the others. I think your DH accidentally got himself a stalker, but he seems to be handling it brilliantly. Definitely dont contact her yourself.

Ignore, ignore, ignore.

Make sure all your social media accounts are private for obvious reasons. Can't he block her from linked in?

Personally I would message her BUT I'm too hotheaded for my own good so I wouldn't recommend it

The way your DH reacted is perfect and as a pp said, shows absolute loyalty to you. there will undoubtedly be people on this thread saying he's probably cheating and telling you to LTB but that's just mumsnet liking a drama

Congrats on the pregnancy OP.

There would be no point whatsoever you engaging with her. She seems to have an ongoing fixation on your DH.

If she contacts him again by any other means, I suggest he tell her (written proof if possible) that he has no interest in any woman other than his wife, who he loves very much and also due to her messages to you he wants no further contact, whether on a personal, social or business level. If she continues to try this will be seen as harassment and reported accordingly.

Yeah if you message her then that's just going to please her as being ignored is the worse thing.

She clearly has an infatuation with him. He did everything the right way, I would ignore her. Don't let a stranger ruin any of your time.

Don't contact her . Just ignore it all she is desperate for attention and being pregnant you don't need the extra stress.

@mumofwantwomany I feel like we are on the same wavelength. I feel hormonal and reactive right now but appreciate it's not the best thing to do.

Nice to see DH is getting some praise, I suspected he may have been flamed for not messaging her etc. He is a good egg.

And thank you @DisplayPurposesOnly he's having a lovely father to be day x

She is desparate for contact from him. Don't give it to her.

Nice to see DH is getting some praise, I suspected he may have been flamed for not messaging her etc. He is a good egg.

He clearly liked the attention though, otherwise he would have blocked her long ago and wouldn’t have continued to speak with her for so long.

I would be dying to message her to tell her to fuck off to be honest, it's probably best not to though. She sounds unhinged

"If she contacts him again by any other means, I suggest he tell her (written proof if possible) that he has no interest in any woman other than his wife, who he loves very much and also due to her messages to you he wants no further contact, whether on a personal, social or business level. If she continues to try this will be seen as harassment and reported accordingly"

This ^^ from over50andfab is sound.

Engaging her will just feed her further, and she will enjoy that she’s rattled enough for you to reach out. Keep blocking and ignoring and try put her from your mind.