AIBU to feel upset by this

[jarhead123]

Every time we argue, my husband throws a comment in my face about him being the one who earns money , who works, I do nothing etc. I find it really hurtful.

For context, I was off work when kids were small, then have worked part time since (4 years) I stopped at Christmas as I was a carer and my relative passed away.

Since then I’ve done some admin work, and I start a new job in 2 weeks time.

I do everything the family needs that isn’t earning- cooking washing cleaning all kid related stuff, dog walking , birthday gifts for both sides of family, all family admin etc so do my fair share.

AIBU to feel hurt when he throws me not earning in my face?

I’d have got a new job sooner but we aren’t particularly tight for money and the admin work brought in a small amount.

I also have various mental health issues and would struggle with working FT

Yanbu. When you're not arguing you need to talk to him about it

He’s a certain type of man unfortunately. The asshole type. Speaking to him is unlikely to change what he actually believes.

Well he sounds like a wanker.

You need to be financially independent. Get aone money in a safe place that he doesn't know about.
Because he is not going to get better and when you fall out he is vindictive. You need a safety net

YANBU because he's a tosspot. The issue isn't that he's a tosspot, it's what you're going to do now that you know what a twat he is.

One option is to total up the list of hours you've spent cooking, cleaning, child-rearing and split it in half then billing him for his 50%. If your DC are several years old times it by however many years you've been his skivvy. Tell him either he coughs up the salary you require or shuts the fuck up about "I'm the one earning" because that's the quickest route to a divorce.

Genius replies- thank you!

Our children are 10&8 so I’ve been doing it a long time one now. I don’t actually mind, I would much prefer to do all the family admin/cooking etc and him to work, but I don’t want it used against me. I understand we both bring different things to the table and that our family needs us both equally.