To ask why do you think she'd do this?

[conversegirl]

I'm prepared to be told iabu. I have a lot going on at the moment so I am a bit sensitive which is why I may be reading way too much into this.

Out for dinner this evening, mil attempts to allow dd (2) a sip of coke from her glass. I told her I didn't want dd having sugary drinks, she likes water and had a beaker full which she was happily sipping from.
I go to the toilet and come back and find mil giving dd a sip of squash from ds glass. When she saw me she goes she likes this. (I'm not against squash or juice but I feel if she's still happy drinking water leave her to it.)
I didn't say anything as I didn't want to cause a scene but I'm wondering why wait until I went to the bathroom to give dd squash when she still had water in her beaker. I could understand if dd wasn't well and wouldn't take drinks I'd try squash to get her to drink something.
Mil likes to be in control and I don't think she liked me saying no to her when I told her not to give dd coke. DH thinks she was just looking out for dds needs and his mum isn't that calculated. What do you think?

Maybe she felt bad you all had something more exciting and DD didn't?

She shouldn't have done it after you had said no to the coke, and I agree if a child's happily drinking water I'd leave them to it, but I think MIL was probably just trying to give her a little treat.

It doesn't sound particularly malicious to me. I reckon she just thought you were being very po-faced about what is essentially a bit of squash or coke. That said, I'm totally with you on this - the longer a child can go still being happy with water is a bonus in my book.

My dd (4) has never tried coke and has never wanted to even though she sees me drinking the stuff pretty much everyday. I have a bad habit drinking it but at 30 yo I can make my own decisions and my dd can when she is older too, but I wouldn't pass that habit onto her right now. She won't drink water so weak squash is what she has and my parents and in laws understand that so they wouldn't even consider offering her anything else regardless of whether I've asked them to or not. If I stated that I did not want my daughter to have something, my in laws wouldn't go behind my back and offer it anyway, even if I wasn't there never mind if I was present! I think YANBU because as a parent you have set those boundaries, they should be respected. You were there also, it's not like they had your child solely in their care, your MIL knew there was a chance she'd get caught doing it x

Squash can also be sugary. She shouldn't have given her any other drink after what you said.

I would have asked her OP why she did what you asked her not to. It doesn't sound malicious but she sounds fucking annoying.

And to the pp who said a sip of coke for a 2 yo is a treat, seriously what the fuck

She did it because she wanted to, It is not ideal giving a toddler squash against their DM wishes.
I don't think it is the end of the world, she was probably looking for brownie points from DD.

I think grandparents are there to bend the rules a bit. A secret chocolate bar, too much tv, a sip of coke when mum isn't looking.

Obviously if she's alone with them a lot and loading her with fizzy drinks then you have every right to be pissed off and make a fuss, but I think as long as it's just the odd thing it's fine.

I agree with you, OP. Sugary drinks shouldn't be encouraged or seen as a treat. Water is fine, and much healthier especially if she drinks from a beaker.

YANBU. Stupid and quite unnecessary to give tiny children crap drinks like coke and squash. Your DD didn't need "something more interesting"! You can say "it's only a sip", but why give it at all, obviously the likely result is that the child will like it and start to ask for it.

I used to stress about MIL giving DD sugar on her cereal etc but the reality is, DD spends one day a week with MIL...not even that now she's older....and so one day per week of being indulged hasn't harmed her.

Don't sweat it OP. It's just not worth the trouble. DH struggled with it more than I did and it was his Mum! But I told him "DD loves her Gran and we don't overindulge her so it'll work out on balance"

And it has. DD's teeth and weight are fine and will continue to be.

Giving Coke toa two year old is vulgar.

I would be extremely annoyed at her. MIL's who undermine parenting choices are the absolute worst. 'She likes it' is such a bullshit way to make her feel like she's being wonderful and you're being mean.
Last time my MIL pulled a 'but she likes it' on me, I responded with 'she'd probably like crack cocaine too if I gave it to her, but I don't.'

I drink way too much Diet Coke but my dd drinks weak squash or water.

She is allowed a small fizzy drink if she has a happy meal but often chooses Tropicana or milkshake. She is 8 though and i wouldn't be impressed if a relative of mine did this with a 2 year old.

If it happened again I would have to say something.

Actually I get exactly what you mean. I don’t agree with your hubby - you m’n’law is not giving her squash because she’s trying to look out for her - any dentist will tell you squash is bad for your teeth. She’s giving it because she disagrees with your decision to keep her on water and wants to get your daughter to think she is a great grandmother feeding her sugar.
My daughter has a sweet tooth and there are so many foods she now craves and argues with me for them because other people have given them to her when she was quite young. A boyfriend of my friend put ketchup on her chips when she was 3 and so began her love affair with ketchup.
It’s a personality thing - my son only drinks water through choice where my daughter will try for anything sweet. Guess which one had a filing.

I agree, I don’t think there’s any need to give young children sugary drinks if they’re happy with water. However, I don’t think it’s worse the headspace to be too annoyed about a sip of coke or squash. Pick your battles and let this one slide.