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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel this way about something so silly

19 replies

peachesandclean · 16/06/2019 00:15

I just got back from a week long holiday abroad with some members of my family and some family friends (a couple, significantly older than me), and I would truly like to know peoples thoughts on this

We were out one day at the beach having a drink, and everyone except me were on their phones, scrolling through fb, texting and whatnot but I was just sitting there humming to myself as nobody was talking and the husband in the couple looked up and went “SHHH”

I obviously stopped and I don’t know why but it made me feel like an inch tall and embarrassed and just really shitty? And I don’t know why? Someone else went “ignore him, sing if you want to” but I didn’t want to after that.

Then on the last night, we were out for dinner and it was lively and loud-ish and I was talking to one of my family members about something. Everyone joined in the chat so I spoke louder as to actually finish speaking to my family member and then the wife of the couple also looked at me, put her hand up and went “shushhhh” and I felt like shit again

Now I honestly wouldn’t call myself sensitive but for some reason, being shushed feels like a slap in the face and I can’t work out why. Maybe it’s because it feels like I’m annoying them, or what I’m trying to say isn’t important but it just gets to me and bothers me enough to post here about it

Does anyone else get like this?

OP posts:
KaleidoscopeEyes · 16/06/2019 00:16

No, this would be an issue for me too. A couple of people have shushed me over the years and it didn't end well!

BlackboardMonitorVimes · 16/06/2019 00:17

That would have pissed me off, who sushes anyone over the age of 12? YANBU

queensvillage1 · 16/06/2019 00:19

I also hate being shushed. It makes me so angry that anyone things they have enough authority over me to dictate when I can make a noise

katewhinesalot · 16/06/2019 00:19

Nope that is very rude.

usernameuser · 16/06/2019 00:19

Bloody cheek, they sound really rude, I would've said 'don't shush me!'🤬

TheTrollFairy · 16/06/2019 00:20

I get like this. My anxiety actually stems from thinking that people find me boring!
Your family sound rude though so try not to worry about it

toriathet · 16/06/2019 00:20

your mistake was telling him at the time who the hell do you think your talking to?when he did it that way the wife wouldnt have done it the second time
im assuming your a adult as you mentioned drinking,even if your just a teenager there is no way i would have put up with that at that age either

toriathet · 16/06/2019 00:21

*not telling him

ILoveEurovision · 16/06/2019 00:23

It's a bit rude to shush you, but it really irritates me when people are humming. Nobody wants to listen to you hum. I would probably just be thinking "I wish she would be quiet" in my head though.

tympanic · 16/06/2019 01:07

Humming can be quite irritating, but so can being out having a drink or dinner and sitting in silence as people tap away at their phones. I assume the shushers were tapping away too? A quick scroll, text, check is fine but the point of socialising is... socialising. Not living in cyberspace. Quite sad really when on holiday at the beach. I was once on a camel safari in Rajasthan with a woman who spent the whole time on her Kindle. Literally reading her trashy novel while sat on the camel’s back as we made our way through the desert. Extraordinary.

As for the shushing... height of rudeness. You need to call them out on it as the woman only tried it on because her husband got away with it.

“Goodness me! Am I actually being shushed?! I haven’t been shushed since I was a wee child! How terrifically rude of you.”

FionasWineShow · 16/06/2019 01:23

YANBU, you don't shush anyone beyond your own DC.

Humming is - or can be - incredibly annoying, though.

Not reason enough to shush someone, but rest assured the next time you do it, people around you will be thinking 'STFU'.

FionasWineShow · 16/06/2019 01:24

Also, I suspect the humming was possibly interpreted - rightly or wrongly - as a passive aggressive dig at the phone scrollers.

AyBeeCee10 · 16/06/2019 01:48

First example - he was right. Humming is oh so irritating.
Second example - she was rude.

Squigglesworth · 16/06/2019 02:48

If they were rude enough to shush me, I'd probably have been rude enough to roll my eyes at them so they'd know exactly how I felt about them at that moment.

(Humming can be annoying, it's true, but that's no excuse to be rude. And everyone staring at their screens while on vacation is fairly rude, too. Definitely sad, if they're spending more time looking at a phone than enjoying the experience and the company.)

KC225 · 16/06/2019 04:56

Was it the older couple that 'shushed' you? It is rude but perhaps they still see you as a 'child' of XXXX rather than a grown up in your own right. Not making excuses for them, but think its a generationally thing as opposed to you being a annoying. I do think you should have pulled them up on it both times.

heartshapedpositnotes · 16/06/2019 09:46

What song were you humming?

Original poster
peachesandclean · 16/06/2019 21:34

My age has been pointed out, I'm 21. Sorry, I should have said

I don't remember what I was humming but it can't have been loud and I was only doing it because I was so bored from sitting there waiting for everyone to put their phones down

Thank you for your responses everyone, I don't feel like I'm being an oversensitive cow anymore

OP posts:
user1493413286 · 16/06/2019 21:35

I wouldn’t be impressed at being shushed; it’s rude

PinkiOcelot · 16/06/2019 21:40

Regardless of humming being irritating, they were rude. If everyone hadn’t been being rude sitting on their phones, you wouldn’t have been humming.
His wife was also very rude.

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