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AIBU?

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Original poster

To keep my 3.5yr old in a cot?

64 replies

portolife · 15/06/2019 23:19

Talking about sleeping arrangements to some friends recently and one of them was astounded that my 3.5yr old is still in a cot, she's very small for her age and totally happy in there, doesn't climb out etc. Moving her into a big bed just isn't something I've felt bothered enough to do yet! But my friend made me feel a bit weird about it to be honest!

OP posts:
makingmiracles · 16/06/2019 01:35

NOt weird at all. I find nowadays some people are very quick to move their child to the next stage, eg weaning, car seats, beds etc and actually 3.5 is still very little, it’s not like she’s 6 and still in a cot! I’ve known people put their 1yr olds in a single bed, which I think is insanely early.
My dd (3] is still in a cot, bedside co expert with side down. Has been potty trained day and night since just turned two and will get up if needs be and use the potty in the night. SHE often falls asleep in our bed and we transfer her cot, she’s also 98 percentile so not exactly a small toddler but not too big for it yet.

FiddleFaddleDingDong · 16/06/2019 01:39

I find nowadays some people are very quick to move their child to the next stage, eg weaning, car seats, beds etc and actually 3.5 is still very little

So you counter that by babying a child beyond babyhood.

DramaRamaLlama · 16/06/2019 01:51

I find it a bit odd. Mine were both in beds before they were 2. I moved them when they could climb out as I felt it was dangerous.

IWantMyHatBack · 16/06/2019 01:56

Ignore everything. Ignore all advice. Just do what results in the most sleep.

MrsArnott · 16/06/2019 02:09

Not gonna lie, my first thought was wtf! Ok, if it results in sleep and there are no issues then that's fair enough...but where do you draw the line?! When are you going to disrupt the sleeping arrangements? I feel that the longer you keep your child in a cot, then they're going to get to an age where they aren't going to take well to sleeping in any other environment. 3.5 is close to school age and that is a massive adjustment enough without then throwing in a change of sleeping arrangement. Toddler beds are called as such because they are 'normally' used for children at toddler age, and for good reason IMO.

Limpshade · 16/06/2019 02:14

Our 2.5yo is also in a cot and I could definitely foresee her still being happy in it in a year's time. However she has a younger sister currently "waiting" for the cot (she's in a travel cot herself and starting to grow out of it) so we're going to move the older one soon. Bit nervous as she's quite highly strung and I can see it disrupting our sleep for a while but it's time!

gumbyprickle · 16/06/2019 05:00

My ds used to hop out his toddler bed in the morning and potter around his room. What does she do? Just sit in her cot and look? Seems weird.

Barnabyboy · 16/06/2019 06:39

Far too old

GPatz · 16/06/2019 06:45

My DS2 is in his own bed.....most of the time Wink

Original poster
portolife · 16/06/2019 06:51

My ds used to hop out his toddler bed in the morning and potter around his room. What does she do? Just sit in her cot and look? Seems weird

She shouts for us to get her out! Anyway it seems it's more odd than i thought Grin. She sleeps in a bed at my mum's, the cot she's got turns into a toddler bed so I guess it's time to get the screwdriver out!

OP posts:
AbbyHammond · 16/06/2019 06:56

Does seem a bit odd to keep them "contained" beyond when it's needed (if there's no sn etc) - equally it would be unusual to still be strapping them into a buggy or highchair or using a play pen! Can you take the side off?

toomuchtooold · 16/06/2019 07:05

Mine were about 3 and a half when we changed to beds. The issue was forced by DT1 getting too big for the cot. She wasn't at all impressed with moving to a bed at first, she would sort of snuggle into the corner of the bed and she still wore a sleeping bag for about another year. But then she changed to a duvet, and that was that. I don't know why people get so antsy about moving on to the next stage. It's a place to sleep. If you put a kid to bed in a cot or wherever and it's safe, why would you rush to change that? I don't get it. Spend a year or more playing chases with a toddler who doesn't get that bedtime is bedtime.

Vivavivienne · 16/06/2019 07:17

I think it’s weird.

Not least because when you stay away places, I’d worry about how easily she would transition to a normal bed....

Original poster
portolife · 16/06/2019 07:20

Like I said earlier, she sleeps in a bed at my mum's. She also slept in a double bed when we went away earlier this year!

So I know she'll be fine. Just need to get round to changing it! I have two toddlers so it's not always easy find time to do these boring jobs.

OP posts:
Settlersofcatan · 16/06/2019 07:26

I don't think it's weird that she is still in a cot at the moment - most people seem to move their toddlers when there is a reason like climbing out or needing to get up to use the toilet. If those don't apply, I don't see the rush. My 2.5 year old is still very happy in his cot and I don't think we'll think about moving him for a while unless there is a reason to.

That said, by 4, I would like my DS to get up on his own (not just cry for us) and entertain himself for a bit - so I probably would look to force the issue by 3.5 or so.

AppleKatie · 16/06/2019 07:31

Mine were in a cot with sides taken off calling itself a ‘toddler bed’ by then. But we didn’t buy a single bed til well over 4. What’s the point if child is happy, clean and safe?

I only bought a bed because I was worried they were getting to heavy for the cot/toddler bed.

SimonJT · 16/06/2019 07:33

My just turned four year old is in a cot with one of the sides taken off, I don’t see the point in wasting money on a new mattress and bed until I need to.

Gunpowder · 16/06/2019 07:37

I don’t think it’s weird! She’s 3 not 6 or 7. If she’s sleeping well and happy don’t rock the boat. She’ll probably want to move in 6 months and you can do it then.

Rodent01 · 16/06/2019 07:38

DD1 was in a cot till 3 and we only moved her because she was too tall for the growbags and needed a duvet.

She never climbed out, was perfectly happy and was a dream sleeper, would mostly just lie dosing in her cot till we came to get her. Or shout if she was impatient.

If it works, why change it!

DD2 is 22 months and I’m also not moving her till she can climb!

No point stopping something if it works!

Teddyreddy · 16/06/2019 07:40

We didn't take the sides off DS's cot bed until he was a bit over 3.5. We offered to take them off from age 3 but he didn't want us to - I think he liked the sense of security they gave him. We told him they would come off on his 4th birthday but until then it was up to him. In the end he suddenly decided he wanted them off at a bit over 3.5 and the transition was no problem.

Have you asked your DC if they want the sides on or off?

Tylee · 16/06/2019 07:40

For us, the main reason was that dc2 was coming along, there wasn't anywhere comfortable to sit and breastfeed in dc1's room (which was her main playing space) and it was either try and cram a rocking chair into her bedroom or get her a big bed I could sit on. (I was anticipating spending hours cluster feeding like I did with dc1, but as it happened it was a bit of a non-issue as dc2 could drain a boob in ten minutes.)
There are other advantages though. If she can get out herself and play in her own room, you all get a bit more sleep. Going away is a bit easier if she can sleep in her own bed (though also a bit more expensive if she won't sleep in a travel cot, so you might want to start a line about how cots are still for holidays or something, then you have flexibility). It also might become an issue if friends come over to play or she goes to theirs and they say something or it becomes obvious to her that everyone else is in a big girl bed.
I'd get the screwdrivers out, I think.

BackBoiler · 16/06/2019 07:41

My boy had the sides off his bed at 11 months because he kept climbing out. I figured it wasn't insanely early but safer because he was going to end up hurting himself.

thethoughtfox · 16/06/2019 07:42

Mine stayed her in cot till she was 4. We made in to a bed when she was 3 ( she had never tried to climb out) but she cried and said she missed her bars. We made it back into a cot and she kept thanking us!

TapasForTwo · 16/06/2019 07:44

We bought a bed for DD when she was two and a half because she had started climbing out of her cot. I don't think there is a right age, just a right time.

Tortoiselass · 16/06/2019 07:48

We've only just moved our 3.5 year old to a bed. Tbh we didn't need to - he had never tried to climb out and he isn't potty trained. But thought we might as well.

It was fine, no issues with the transition at all. I sometimes think these things are easier if you wait til they have more understanding. All my friends who moved their kids to beds at a young age (18 months etc) seem to just spend forever returning them to bed!

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